After the apocalypse of 2042 where many types of beings that looked like monsters out of story books appeared. Human's called them magical beings, they attack humans indiscriminately. Human's relying on technology to fight this new menace discover that things like gun can’t fight the Magical Beings the people of the world fall into despair. But one day a person invents a mana stone. This stone fuses with a person's soul which enabled human's to use a new type of energy which they called mana which was effective against the Magical Beings the world rejoiced that they had hope once more. With more research it is discovered that everyone's mana is different because everyone's soul is different. In the year of 2069 a war with the the Magical Being's start, the humans lead by 7 heroes fight the demon which is the most dangerous type of monster.The demons were pushed back but the world mourns the many casualty's of the war. For the next 10 year's there is peace, mankind rebuilds the world but the human race knows that peace is ever fleeting. So human's create a school to teach the next generation of mankind children they teach these children subject's from the old world and the new, they train them to fight the Magical Beast's and drill in the knowledge of mankind But one day on the year of 2079 a hero adopts a child that has been experimented on by a scientist, the hero doesn't know but this child will change the fate of the world.
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Pushy women I hate those the most. it is so irritating when the male MC can’t even say a word to defend himself from misunderstanding or insult.
Skimming through most of the chapters the author clearly thinks harem equates to a very onesided relationship, the MC literally has no real say in any of the conversations it is either the mom or the harem members.
Am I the only person in the world who thinks a harem should have a relationship of understanding? this whole bullying the MC being comedic is not even one tiny bit funny!. Lets go over this overly perfect MC with a mysterious past who has a pushy bossy pissy harem who hate him so much that they won't let him live his life oh excuse me this author seems to think forcing someone into decisions is called love.
I forgot to mention the ninja loli that of course the 2 harem members go kya over because shes so cute *spits angrily in direction of monitor* *wipes monitor* my grammar is shit so I won't comment on his, but what I can say is that he does not even put names at the end or beginning of dialogues meaning you have no idea who the hell is talking.
here is what a conversation is like in this story.
"He's MINE! old hag!"
"MINE MINE MINE MINE"
"can I go make bre-"
btw the one who was trying to be a reasonable person and make breakfast was the MC and the one yelling was a harem member fyi that's exactly what she is like she screams and yells and calls people old hag and she bosses the MC around.
I haven’t read one chapter and I don’t know if I should or shouldn’t…
The intro to your story in itself is littered with so many grammatical errors that I can only assume that the chapters themselves are the same or… even worse… and that is a real turn off.
I don’t want to come off harsh or mean, but honestly the grammar turned me away from giving this novel a chance…
I’d suggest getting a proof reader before continuing this grammatical monstrosity in my honest opinion…
(though if your perfectly fine with keeping it as it is, and enjoy writing the story I can respect that as well I’m just giving you my opinion)
and like I said since I haven’t read the story I don’t want to give it a bad review or a good one so I just went with what the people before me went with to not influence the score to much just to give my opinion
*Grammar isn't nearly as bad as it was, but still terrable, the women in this series are way to dominate and the MC is just an OP doormat bout sums it up... dropped it after 10 chapters srry m8...
it’s a little quote from chap 10, I didn’t change a thing, a simple copy past :
“Then he still facing his enemies he say to me “Go run to there everyone go there. You will hinder me i you say here.”, then i go run alone and only heard cry of pain from the direction of the boy, but i keep running to search for an help.after1 hour walk, i found my uncle and my brother and their team come back from hunting demon i go to them and tell them everythings.When they heard it ,my uncle is furious so the half of them stay here to protect me and half of them run to the directions of boy.and they come back 1 hour and tell me they don’t found the boy and only corpse of reseacher and the criminal.i am the only suvivor of that accident so uncle and my aunt adopt me and my brother cause their child is dead .”
Actually I didn’t even read your story but after you synopsis I wonder if it was at the same level everywere and … it is .
Like you notice I can’t write like shakespear because I’m not english native but at least I don’t put a story here with so many flaws in it.
I won’t… I can’t even… Yes; I literally can’t even.
The story itself is not that bad, the idea behind it got potential, but this is where the positives stop.
Your style is simplistic, your choice of words measly and yet it serves the deed.
But now grammar…. Jesus fucking Christ. It is terrabad, absolutely unreadable. It is not merely the spelling, the tenses but also the syntax with sometimes missing punctuation or overall wrongly done punctuation. This fiction is…. it is… I have no words.
The characters: Oh how I love them… The one sided sidechicks that can do naught but scream at the protagonist and the dense as rock protagonist that doesn’t do a single shit…. I love it…. not.
The fiction is bad, simple as that. It has potential, yes, but it isn’t used…
Since I’m not a native English speaker myself, I’m usually very forgiving about grammar and pretty much an expert when it comes to understanding …bad English? Sorry to say this, although the story seem to be good, but the grammar needs a huge improvement. Good luck anyway! Don’t let it get you down, I’m sure this would have been a much better story if you write in your own language.
Serious grammar issues which makes it hard to read if youre someone like me who uses text to speech converter to read. All the mistakes add up and ruin the story when hearing it - ps im only on chapter 3 so so it could improve later on.
Despite everything i recommend you give it a go
The story could be a good one, but sadly the grammar is so bad that it is unreadable. The meaning of the sentences are most of the time not understandable.
Sorry author but at the level your grammar is now i can only say "don't even bother to read"
It just hurts the eyes and ruins a possibly good story
fucking sucks MC is a bitch, can't do shit, this needs the be rewritten.
There was so much potential when this story started. A lot of advise has been given from the get go, but apparently the majority of it has been ignored.
I got through the first few chapters when this was still new, but had to give up and put this on my read later list to come back and see if the story quality improved.
Sadly upon returning and taking a quick peek at the latest set of chapters all I could see was that almost none of the advise that I had seen people given multiple times had been ignored. Some of said people having some of the greatest stories on this site.
The premises of the story itself is wonderful, BUT character building is several lacking, style is weak, and most of all...the grammar...o GOD the grammar. (Of course I can understand grammar problems and can accept them especially if English is not the primary language, but the degree of error within this story goes beyond what that excuse can cover.)
The grammar alone makes this story impossible to continue, and sadly it would be one of the easiest things to fix if the writer would actually listen to what a good portion of the advise that is being given.
No signs of proofreading can be seen. Nether the first starting chapters I had read, or the later chapters that I have skimmed over.
At this point the only, repeat ONLY, positive thing I can say about this story is the release schedule is fast. Sadly I say that is also probably the biggest contributing factor for why this story ends up on the trash pile.
Pls get a proof reader or someone who knows English or write this in whatever language you are best at. I couldn't even complete a whole chap, it was so bad.