Necrowarrior [A LitRPG at the end of the world]

Necrowarrior [A LitRPG at the end of the world]

by Jeanean

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

When the world ends, the apocalypse brought many things with it.
Most notably, monsters, magic, and a system that allows the survivers to gain the strength needed to survive.

In such a situation, Alice and her friend Ava somehow manage to survive, albeit barely.

But things start to change soon, to be precise, when Alice gets a call from her mother, who tells her that someone wants to talk to her. Someone who calls themself a Prophet.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

For the duration of the Writathon challenge, I will be trying to release chapters daily. (This is not a guarantee, but I will try.)

 [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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  • Pages :
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Author
Jeanean

Jeanean

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Word Count (11)
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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
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baurus
Overall

Soo, lets start with negatives. I don't like the class misunderstanding.

The system explained exactly what will happen, how many people will die and stuff like that but it didn't mention how the classes work? I don't like that.

Besides that it's really good. I like the characters. They are not perfect but in a relatable way. And the world is interesting too. Not incredibly original but it has some unique things to itself already. Also it was mentioned that random things will be choosen at random by the author which is a fun idea. I'm pretty used to see the "random" skills as skills that the system decides you should have but going with total randomness can be fun too. All in all it looks promising and I hope I'll manage to get over the class thing.

Turtles are different from Tortoises
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Character: The main character and the main supporting cast are both relatively well developed, but could use some work. While these two at least have unique personalities and don’t read entirely like stereotypes, the development and reaction to the very unusual situation that they find themselves in can’t really come as anything but unrealistic.

There is a minimal amount of focus on the internal changes, with seemingly traumatic events being resolved almost instantly. Is somewhat makes the protagonist in particular come across as not being engaging, as she feels unrelatable in that regard.

This is somewhat explained with as a quirk of her personality, but it having a reason doesn’t change how it takes away from my enjoyment.

Story: The story is a simple and easily understandable one, and it doesn’t do a terrible job engaging the plot as it goes forward, giving both short- and long-term goals. However, I feel as though it struggles with making suspense, answering the important question soon after posing them and not letting the desire to learn those answers make the reader want to keep reading.

Grammar: The grammar is pretty good, there aren’t any real flaws with it that would be worth mentioning.

Style: The style is alright, and while it doesn’t have any major flaws, it feels rushed all throughout. The actions scenes, the conversations, the area descriptions, the monologues, none of it goes into detail. I feel as though this story could greatly benefit from more description, if not for everything at least in a few chosen areas to give it a draw.

Overall this is good potential, but also a lot of elements that could use work as well. 

Sandmann
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Necromancer, but without the minions

Reviewed at: Chapter 15: Search and rescue

Lets start with the easy points.

Grammar:
As far as I can tell, there has been only a single spelling mistake, and that has already been corrected after the author saw the comment about it.

Now, for the Characters:
The characters are believable. They make mistakes, get injured, and don't suddenly turn into coldblooded murder hobo's just because. They have problems and trauma to deal with, and it is reflected in the way they behave and their mood swings.

Story:
The first major plot is introduced in chapter four, after which another few hints for potential future storylines are given, most of which however seem to be lategame content. Up to chapter fifteen, the story mostly concentrates on setting up a base, both inside the story and in terms of future plotlines, but in chapter fifteen, what may become the first major story arc has been introduced.

Style:
The setting: The setting is brutal, and the author shows it. Through gore, and how the characters are treated. This story is about survival, and it shows in the fact that characters do die.

The cast: In terms of numbers, there had been a suffficiently large number of diferent characters, instead of having the MC interact with only three other characters while everyone else is mysteriously absent. At the same time, the focus is still on the MC and her friend, preventing the reader from "drowning".

Germain
Overall

This is an interesting takes on Apocalypse Litle RPG. I won't call it unique, but I have yet to see one similar to this one.

The tone is lighter than most story of the same genre, with a few jokes here and there. 

The writing is clear and easy to read.

The little RPG aspect is here but does not overwhelm the story. Story wich is progressing smoothly and while it has not yet captivated me, it is still in a somewhat prologue phase and interesting enough to get me to follow.

Characters are good and even better if we consider the limited released pages yet.

JamalCheat2
Overall

Great character work and use Post-Apocalypse genre

Reviewed at: Chapter 22: Trolls

This will be real quick but overall it has been a lot of fun reading so far. I can't wait to get into possible overarching plots and theories for what is going on. I'm also pretty invested to see what new elements to the power system could change to really spice up how everyone interacts with eachother. 

A very solid story so far that I would recommend to anyone who is a fan of the genres in uses.

TeraSv
Overall

Month of the Necromancers

Reviewed at: Chapter 21: Notes

It is a novel take on necromancers combined with a quiet interesting System Apocalypse.

I haven't picked up any necromancer storys in the past year or 2, but after RinoZ Book of the Dead this is the second on this month that got me invested.

Character work is good, story is progressing without random leaps and I haven't noticed anything in terms of style and gramar which is a good thing on itself.