- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
[Participant in the Royal Road Writathon, November 2021]
For the longest time, Aideen Fiachna had only one prescient wish; to be the daughter her parents could take pride in.
The idea was a tall order, especially as her father stood at the head of the Templar order, and her grandfather as the Pope. However, she endeavored to try nonetheless.
Yet fate had a different path in store for her.
For all her efforts, all her best laid plans, were but the broken off crumbs of 'one day'. That day, she was brutally slain by a vile, accursed undead being.
Though, not even restful eternity awaited her in death.
She awakened inside a coffin. Her coffin. During her own funeral wake. Discovering, to her horror, that she had risen. Not somehow resurrected, no, but back in the form of that most hated of beings--the curse of undeath.
What will fate deal her next?
Chapters will range from 1-2.5k words, scheduled for release every day from Monday to Friday.
-Character progression in a journey of self discovery that spanned the ages
-Tragedy and Comedy in roughly equal measures
Do not expect:
-Much in terms of romance
-Politics, barring passing views and mentions
-A lighthearted tale. This story will be a good bit grimmer than my previous one
Any comments, reviews, and criticism will be much appreciated.
And thank you for reading.
Disclaimer: This story is my original work and only posted on the Royal Road website. If you should find this story elsewhere or under another name, please let me know.
Also please don't be too hard on me when I make occasional grammatical mistakes, English is my third language after all. XD
Edit suggestions are very welcome though.
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Honestly, the blurb is a bit missleading. This is the story of Aideen who miraculously revives as an intelligent undead after getting killed in combat. Aideens family is extremely well connected, so she doesn't get persecuted as an undead, but ends up an apprentice to the neighbouring Empire's Emperor. A Lichking.
In the current state of the story, we see Aideen learn more about her newly aquired powers and see the Lichking go on a rampage after stabby happy geopolitics happen. With Aideen and her family as participants of his rampage.
Overall I would say very interesting worlbuilding, but there hasn't been much plot. Overall it feels like Aideen is more an observer / chronicler than a protagonist of her own.
Whilst it's still early on, Unliving is shaping up to be a pretty good story. It's remarkably light-hearted in its own way, despite the casual murder, mayham, and assisted termination of the trial period known as 'living'.
The few grammatical errors I noticed, tended to be of the typo/autowrongifier-category, though I'm no English major and it was 5-7am when I binged the current chapters (1-20).
The characters fit the setting quite well so far. Whilst they could be fleshed out a bit more, I think it's a good start, and the rest has to happen naturally over time.
I do think the main character's affinity is done in a pretty interesting way. It has pros and cons; hilariously overpowered in a way, yet not at all at the same time. Additionally, with how the world itself also adapts to a thusfar unseen affinity, as it has in the past, keeps it from looking like a 'lol MC plotshield'-affinity, which tend to exist solely to make the MC special.
As a participant in the 2021 Writeathon, chapters are currently being added at a rapid pace. Here's to hoping the story continues - or naturally wraps up, if/when applicable - after this period, as it's certainly a good read that deserves to continue.
incredible story with great worldbuilding so far that still has so much to offer. The power system itself is great, and although there is no grand training to reach a goal, there is also no issues with the power system whatsoever. Although mortality seems overpowered, it really isn't too bad and can be dealt with. The story is told in the first person, which may make it difficult for some, but the author is very good with their word use. The only plot hole I can find is why Nec Aarin hasn't taken over the two countries earlier.
The best way to know if the people are happy in a nation,
Is to find out if they would war for that nation.
This a wise person hath once said,
And this we do see in this book of the living and dead.
Many may say that a necromancer rules only with fear,
Yet the people of the Lichdom of Ptoledecca know no fear,
Instead they be happy as can be,
In this book that inverts my understanding of the undead as it be,
A Treatise of Culture and Otherworldly History,
Depicted through fantastical storytelling as we unveil the mystery in history.
Style? It is one fascinating to read,
As we see not just a cast but also their creed,
Their nationality and species but not as lore,
No, No, No, it is hidden within the story like I have never seen before,
I found that with the world I was familiar,
Even though I hath not read any book similar,
With Liches and Therians,
Wraiths and Humans,
It be a world unto itself through and through.
Story? Though slow in progress,
It bore me not with its slowness,
Instead it add to the story,
With excerpts occasionally lory,
But still part of the story.
Grammar? Why not a mistake did I find.
Perhaps because the story consumed my mind?
Character? Real they be, fleshed out like their history,
Some relatable, some not but perhaps that is because of their normalcy?
After all, even in real life there are people I fail to understand.
So finally I say to you, READ THIS BOOK!!!
I will preface this with the fact that this story doesn't suit my tastes so the review may come across as harsher than it should be but I have two main sticking points that ruin this novel for me
The first one is the fact that the protagonist does nothing herself, now you may say that she is still too weak for her actions to matter, but so far her actions didn't even decide a small thing, the dies while on a mission that someone sent her , she rises and doesn't even care that she is undead that she heard only bad stories about all her life, her grandfather basically tries to straight up kill her and by sheer luck he fails, but her reaction amounts to "Oh, you tried to kill me its ok, you had the best intentions in mind", they tell her to go and she goes where they said, does what they said and The main issue is that even while doing whatever they told her to do she doesn't make decisions on how to do it, most of the story is her just being there and author describing the happenings that she barely has a presence in.
The second point may only be bad to me, but the author presents the world in bizarre levels of black and white. They are in a state made from rebellion against oppression of bad necromancers that keep people as livestock and do every horrible thing you can imagine, her family is the ruling family in that state and they are good rulers humble without a single flaw (they literally didn't mention a single flaw in the whole family, everyone is righteous, brave, talented etc. etc.) even when her grandfather straight up tries to murder her every single one of them is fine 5 second later and forgive him because "he had best intentions in mind".
Also you know those bad necromancers that surround them?
Well 2 of those states are bad guys where the worse one has a breeding quota on its serfs etc. etc. while the third one (that just so happens to be sided with our good guys) is heaven on earth paradise that treats everyone fairly that has a lich leading it. While worldbuilding the author didn't give a single flaw to the good guys while not giving ANY redeeming quality to the bad guys, even when good guys did something bad like literal war crimes, its presented as good or at least forgivable.
It may be just my opinion but the novel is WAY too black and white