Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

[Participant in the Royal Road Writathon, November 2021]

For the longest time, Aideen Fiachna had only one prescient wish; to be the daughter her parents could take pride in.

The idea was a tall order, especially as her father stood at the head of the Templar order, and her grandfather as the Pope. However, she endeavored to try nonetheless.

Yet fate had a different path in store for her.

For all her efforts, all her best laid plans, were but the broken off crumbs of 'one day'. That day, she was brutally slain by a vile, accursed undead being.

Though, not even restful eternity awaited her in death.

She awakened inside a coffin. Her coffin. During her own funeral wake. Discovering, to her horror, that she had risen. Not somehow resurrected, no, but back in the form of that most hated of beings--the curse of undeath.

What will fate deal her next?

Chapters will range from 1-2.5k words, scheduled for release every day from Monday to Friday.

---------------------------------------

Expect:

-Character progression in a journey of self discovery that spanned the ages

-World building

-Tragedy and Comedy in roughly equal measures

-Occasional action



Do not expect:

-Much in terms of romance

-Politics, barring passing views and mentions

-A lighthearted tale. This story will be a good bit grimmer than my previous one

Any comments, reviews, and criticism will be much appreciated.

And thank you for reading.

---------------------------------------

Disclaimer: This story is my original work and only posted on the Royal Road website. If you should find this story elsewhere or under another name, please let me know.

Also please don't be too hard on me when I make occasional grammatical mistakes, English is my third language after all. XD

Edit suggestions are very welcome though.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 48,293
  • Average Views :
  • 1,420
  • Followers :
  • 646
  • Favorites :
  • 74
  • Ratings :
  • 87
  • Pages :
  • 166
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Avitue

Avitue

Achievements
200 Comments
Word Count (11)
750 Followers
100,000 Views
15 Review Upvotes
Top List #1500
Fledgling Reviewer (II)
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue - A Restful Peace... ago
Chapter 1 - Denied Forevermore... ago
Chapter 2 - Botched Exorcism ago
Chapter 3 - The Bone Lord ago
Chapter 4 - Birth of the Unliving ago
Chapter 5 - Refuge in Audacity ago
Chapter 6 - The Bone Lord's Domain ago
Chapter 7 - Palace of Bones ago
Chapter 8 - The Bone Lord's True Visage ago
Chapter 9 - Dinner in the Palace of Bones ago
Chapter 10 - Teachers & Training ago
Chapter 11 - Laborious Lessons Learned ago
Chapter 12 - Every Journey began with a small step ago
Chapter 13 - News from Home ago
Chapter 14 - A Thoughtless Provocation ago
Chapter 15 - A Convenient Excuse ago
Chapter 16 - An Example to be Made ago
Chapter 17 - A Battle to be Fought ago
Chapter 18 - A Displeasure to be Made Known ago
Chapter 19 - A Reunion amidst a Field of Corpses ago
Chapter 20 - A Change in Plans ago
Chapter 21 - An Indignation to be Conveyed ago
Chapter 22 - An Anthem of Blood and Carnage ago
Chapter 23 - A Silence before the Storm ago
Chapter 24 - A Decisive Clash to Claim Destiny ago
Chapter 25 - An Ignominious End for A Nation ago
Chapter 26 - To Rebuild a People ago
Side Story 1 - An Orphan Girl and her Little "Friends" ago
Chapter 27 - A Return Triumphant ago
Chapter 28 - The Duality of Man's Nature ago
Chapter 29 - The Unliving Phenomenon ago
Chapter 30 - A Second Life for an Old Duck ago
Chapter 31 - As the Years went By... ago
Side Story 2 - The Beginning of a Rebellion ago

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Beyogi
Overall

Honestly, the blurb is a bit missleading. This is the story of Aideen who miraculously revives as an intelligent undead after getting killed in combat. Aideens family is extremely well connected, so she doesn't get persecuted as an undead, but ends up an apprentice to the neighbouring Empire's Emperor. A Lichking.

In the current state of the story, we see Aideen learn more about her newly aquired powers and see the Lichking go on a rampage after stabby happy geopolitics happen. With Aideen and her family as participants of his rampage.

Overall I would say very interesting worlbuilding, but there hasn't been much plot. Overall it feels like Aideen is more an observer / chronicler than a protagonist of her own.

Alighierian
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Axe through the lung? - mildly inconvenient

Reviewed at: Chapter 20 - A Change in Plans

Whilst it's still early on, Unliving is shaping up to be a pretty good story. It's remarkably light-hearted in its own way, despite the casual murder, mayham, and assisted termination of the trial period known as 'living'.

The few grammatical errors I noticed, tended to be of the typo/autowrongifier-category, though I'm no English major and it was 5-7am when I binged the current chapters (1-20).

The characters fit the setting quite well so far. Whilst they could be fleshed out a bit more, I think it's a good start, and the rest has to happen naturally over time.

I do think the main character's affinity is done in a pretty interesting way. It has pros and cons; hilariously overpowered in a way, yet not at all at the same time. Additionally, with how the world itself also adapts to a thusfar unseen affinity, as it has in the past, keeps it from looking like a 'lol MC plotshield'-affinity, which tend to exist solely to make the MC special.

 

As a participant in the 2021 Writeathon, chapters are currently being added at a rapid pace. Here's to hoping the story continues - or naturally wraps up, if/when applicable - after this period, as it's certainly a good read that deserves to continue.

Gersh
Overall

incredible story with great worldbuilding so far that still has so much to offer. The power system itself is great, and although there is no grand training to reach a goal, there is also no issues with the power system whatsoever. Although mortality seems overpowered, it really isn't too bad and can be dealt with. The story is told in the first person, which may make it difficult for some, but the author is very good with their word use. The only plot hole I can find is why Nec Aarin hasn't taken over the two countries earlier.

Verlin Merlin
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The best way to know if the people are happy in a nation,
Is to find out if they would war for that nation.
This a wise person hath once said,
And this we do see in this book of the living and dead.
Many may say that a necromancer rules only with fear,
Yet the people of the Lichdom of Ptoledecca know no fear,
Instead they be happy as can be,
In this book that inverts my understanding of the undead as it be,
A Treatise of Culture and Otherworldly History,
Depicted through fantastical storytelling as we unveil the mystery in history.

Style? It is one fascinating to read,
As we see not just a cast but also their creed,
Their nationality and species but not as lore,
No, No, No, it is hidden within the story like I have never seen before,
I found that with the world I was familiar,
Even though I hath not read any book similar,
With Liches and Therians,
Wraiths and Humans,
It be a world unto itself through and through.

Story? Though slow in progress,
It bore me not with its slowness,
Instead it add to the story,
With excerpts occasionally lory,
But still part of the story.
Grammar? Why not a mistake did I find.
Perhaps because the story consumed my mind?
Character? Real they be, fleshed out like their history,
Some relatable, some not but perhaps that is because of their normalcy?
After all, even in real life there are people I fail to understand.
So finally I say to you, READ THIS BOOK!!!

-Koschei-
Overall

Protagonist is observer of a black and white story

Reviewed at: Chapter 31 - As the Years went By...

I will preface this with the fact that this story doesn't suit my tastes so the review may come across as harsher than it should be but I have two main sticking points that ruin this novel for me 

The first one is the fact that the protagonist does nothing herself, now you may say that she is still too weak for her actions to matter, but so far her actions didn't even decide a small thing, the dies while on a mission that someone sent her , she rises and doesn't even care that she is undead that she heard only bad stories about all her life, her grandfather basically tries to straight up kill her and by sheer luck he fails, but her reaction amounts to "Oh, you tried to kill me its ok, you had the best intentions in mind", they tell her to go and she goes where they said, does what they said and The main issue is that even while doing whatever they told her to do she doesn't make decisions on how to do it, most of the story is her just being there and author describing the happenings that she barely has a presence in. 

The second point may only be bad to me, but the author presents the world in bizarre levels of black and white. They are in a state made from rebellion against oppression of bad necromancers that keep people as livestock and do every horrible thing you can imagine, her family is the ruling family in that state and they are good rulers humble without a single flaw (they literally didn't mention a single flaw in the whole family, everyone is righteous, brave, talented etc. etc.) even when her grandfather straight up tries to murder her every single one of them is fine 5 second later and forgive him because "he had best intentions in mind".  

Also you know those bad necromancers that surround them? 

Well 2 of those states are bad guys where the worse one has a breeding quota on its serfs etc. etc. while the third one (that just so happens to be sided with our good guys) is heaven on earth paradise that treats everyone fairly that has a lich leading it. While worldbuilding the author didn't give a single flaw to the good guys while not giving ANY redeeming quality to the bad guys, even when good guys did something bad like literal war crimes, its presented as good or at least forgivable. 

It may be just my opinion but the novel is WAY too black and white