Ryan Alfa Edison lived a good life until a planet-sized hand destroyed Earth at his wedding and transferred earthlings to another world. Some people were reborn, some people had their souls attached to dead bodies, and some people simply teleported to this world.
Ryan had stinky-like gutter luck. When he woke up, he found himself in the body of a jungle rooster. Alone in this world, he has to adapt, get more magical abilities, and evolve into stronger monster forms.
Later in his journey, Ryan realized being alone in another world with magic and magical creatures was dangerous, but luckily, he had the ability to raise undead monsters. He would build a strong army of undead monsters in order to survive and find out the reason for his existence in another world.
This is a journey of a necromancer rooster.
This story will be published on Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing under author name Derek Vayne
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Hopefully the author improves, otherwise I see myself dropping this, which would be shame as it's oddly compelling.
Biggest issues are how flat the characters feel, and how disjointed elements are thrown in. If I wasn't used to cutivation/badly translated novels I probably would've dropped it by ch 5.
Author my main advice for you is to get an editor or an ending program (not just a spellchecker). The most annoying flaw of your story is poor word choice, where I can understand what's being said but I have to think or I cringe at the words used and it kills immersion.
Idk if everything feels flat and disjoted because you don't know how to articulate things in english or if you haven't really fleshed out the character or the world youraelf.
TL;DR: It reads like a standard translated WUXIA - and yes, I am aware it is not a WUXIA. The word choices, style and everything else just reads as if it was a Chinese webnovel on webnovel.
In the end it was really cringeworthy. The character, the apocalypse, the first encounter, the MC described as grown man but acting as a grown man imagined by a fourteen year old.
Interesting idea for a character, but the execution is lacking. The writting feels choppy and doesn't flow well. Feels like a very rough first draft where ideas are just thrown onto paper. Not sure why so many authors have recommended it. Will continue to read in hopes that the writing improves but may drop at anytime.
Due to this story being so new, this won't be an in depth review. However, this story has a great start so far, so I want to encourage the author to keep up the quality!
I enjoy monster evolution LITRPG quite a bit, so I was very excited to find this novel. It has an interesting premise that I haven't seen before, with the MC starting as a chicken, as well as a somewhat unique System. Rather than gaining power through grinding skills or gaining preset monster skills, people in this world gain power by incorporating the monster cores of defeated enemies. This provides a vast array of potential ability combinations, which is great, but also can easily create an overpowered character.
The writing is excellent so far. No typos, easy to read, and fast paced without feeling rushed. The author is doing a good job moderating his exposition dumps. It is clear they want to drop info all at once, but have been using "memory dumps" to the character instead of long dialogue. Overall, no issues at all with grammar or writing style.
I just want to note a few points I think the author should be aware of. None of these are issues at the moment, but we are early in the story and I want to throw them out there. I won't expand too much on these.
-MC is gaining OP abilities from the weakest mobs.
-MC in the only one using abilities, why haven't we seen the dark rats using any of the abilities MC knows they have?
-If every gained ability requires killing another being, how would life proliferate? Every being would be hunted down by more powerful beings, even if they are immensely weak, because core strengths apparently don't matter when gaining abilities.
Anyways, keep it up author! I like what you are doing so far, and I'll definitely keep following this story! Can't wait to see what chicken boi does next!
The writing style is disjointed and has poor flow and pacing. The concept is okay though nothing wildly new - hard to tell if the writer is just trying to be as over the top as possible with the names they choose for things but they become fairly cringey fairly quickly..
Has some potential, but it is hard to read with its short paragraphs, 2d characters and minor grammatical mistakes. Don't start reading it expecting a deep story, MC is OP in the first few chapters.
Exposition is mostly done by monologue, every character except one (criminal) is helpful and nice.
I quite like litrpgs and think this one has a lot of potential. The flow of the story indicates a new author and will change over time for the better. The story is quite engaging to the mind and is quite interesting I'm looking forward to seeing where Ryan Alfa Edison will go! (Chickens are clearly underrated lmao 🤣)
Ok this is a fairly good book to read, the story is simple so far and no major plot holes as far as I can see. I would read it if I where you.
It is a popcorn novel, a simple but easy to understand structure. Is enjoyable.
As I said before, not much now, but it seems there is something interesting going on.
Only minor mistakes, no real problems. Could be improved.
Simple motivations, but understandable. No problems.
Overall, a fun novel to read. Not the best, but definitely good. I know that people only really read below 4 star novels, so added an extra quarter star. Flows good so an extra half. I only have less then 100, no advanced for me.
The story is setting up to be a progression fantasy in an interesting world. The author is good at slowing revealing elements of the world rather than just info dumping them. One might expect the protagonist to be an underdog because of the starting place of "rooster" but that's not really the case. The MC powers up quickly and this is not a progression fantasy where the MC has a lot of struggles early on.
The most recent chapter has more spelling mistakes than average. I'm not sure if that's a sign of quality change or merely the author's process where they revise chapters soon after release.
We've met a small number of characters, but they haven't distinguished themselves much yet beyond a single attribute. I'm hoping the characters (including the MC) gain more personality as we go on.
Started with great expectations reading the synopsis but the first few chapters themselves were a very tough ride. If you are sure you aren’t going to question how and why to many questionable situations and reactions to those situations, give it a try… probably…
I’d love to change this review if things change but Good luck to the author