The Last Orellen

The Last Orellen

by sieley

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

According to prophecy, the ninth-born child of Lord Orellen will have the sort of power that changes the world. But in a land ruled by magical families, no one welcomes the possibility of a dangerous new player. Fearful even of their allies, the Orellens come up with an extraordinary and deadly scheme to protect themselves.

If the most powerful people in the world wish to kill the ninth-born, they will have to find him or her first. And that's not going to be easy when the Orellens have called upon dark magic to create hundreds of heirs. The boys and girls are given new bodies, new names, and even new magical talents before they are scattered across the continent. Only one among them is the real ninth, but all of them will have to grow up in a world where they are fugitives.

Kalen, once fated to die, is now an Orellen heir in hiding. And he is determined to survive, even if he has to master his strange new powers to do it.


The Last Orellen is a long, character-focused epic fantasy with progression. It's set in a vast universe, and it's about a boy's journey to become a powerful magical practitioner. Reviews are deeply appreciated. Please do not repost my work elsewhere without my written permission.


What type of reader is this book for? You might enjoy The Last Orellen if you like...

Clever and resourceful protagonists.

Big fantasy worlds. Multiple cultures, lots of characters, many different types of magic--this story is expansive rather than closely focused on a narrow storyline. 

Old-school epic fantasy.

Progression fantasy that takes its time. Our main character will be progressing through magical ranks, but this is going to be a lengthy story. If you're more about the journey than the destination, this might be the book for you.

[participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]

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sieley

sieley

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K4ri
Overall

Great story so far, I'm full of expectations

Reviewed at: Chapter 20: Sprout

In those 20 characters I've read so far author managed to nicely present a fantasy world to set his hero in it. While the story (after first few introduction and world-buliding based chapters) strongly focuses on protagnist you can feel that the world he grows in is alive and is growing/changing too. Side characters are well written and memorable. Author well manages emotions - some chapters are really humorous, some emotional in sad and longing way. Chapters are well editted, I'm no native english speaker but  Overall really great and highly recomended read!

inferious
Overall

A wonderful story with a lot of heart

Reviewed at: Chapter 21: Allies

It's rare to find stories that aren't just pure wish fulfillment on RR. And while I'm excited for the progression fantasy parts, the writer has done a phenomenal job with making the characters feel alive, making us care about these characters and getting us emotionally invested in the outcomes. And more than just the characters, the story itself feels alive.

__user000__
Overall

 

This is currently my most expected Follow. It's original, fresh and extremely well written. The author don't rush the story needlessly. It goes slow and steady building an amazing foundation.

The first point that got me hooked is the complexity of the setting of his wolrd and magic. The first chapters can be a little overwhelming, even a little confusing, but it grows into you a scence of a big world to be explored. It sets a great frame and show the author has put a lot of thought on his world building and possible plots.

 

The second best thing is that most characters that showed up till now, are well though and well written. It's like when you're watching an episode of a series and the delivery guy is so nice that you expect an episode about him (a soak and wet delivery guy). And the amazing thing is that the author seams to pay a lot of attention into making us understand/meet this small characters. They are all really well written in my opinion and that plays a big part in the immersion for me.

It's my first review, I simply couldn't let this one pass without my thanks to the author for this amazing story. 

MinchanOwO
Overall

Its so fucking good, the only bad thing is that it ends  and i cant read more for a couple of days. sorry if my english is bad ,it isnt my first language. Uwu uwu wuw u uwu wuw u uwu wu  uwu wuw uue uwu wu uwu wuw uwu wuwuuwuuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuuwuwuwu

 

 

Twoa98
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

An extremely promising work

Reviewed at: Chapter 21: Allies

...Brandon Sanderson? Is that you? 
This has been an absolute joy to read.

World-building:
Set in a world where magic is hereditary and powerful magical families dominate entire schools of magic, magic is extremely categorical, niche, but also fully explored by the inhabitants of the world. Brought to its logical conclusion, entire industries are dependent upon the hereditary affinities of certain large families - House Orellen, for instance, monopolises the "space" affinity and thereby has a commercial monopoly over trade and transportation.

The operation of magic is also empirically studied and analysed by its practitioners- for example, "Luck" magic was thought to be useless, but after trial-and-error experimentation was conducted, its operation was revealed to be dependent upon the initial variables capable of being affected by the user, with "luck" being more reminiscent of a supercomputer outputing a prediction based on the variables put in.

Characters: Well-thought out, intelligent characters and characterisation.

The Main character is currently an extremely endearing boy whose interest in exploring magic likely mimics the audience's own.
Characters behave highly rationally too - the plot is set in motion by House Orellen receiving a prophecy that their seventh born child of Lord Orellen "may someday become the most powerful magus in the world". Due to it merely being a "may" and not "will", it is accurately anticipated by the members of house Orellen that other families would see this as a potential threat, and the vagaries of realpolitik necessitate their extermination.

Accordingly, options are considered (should they simply kill the child to appease other families? should they ensure that no such 7th child could exist at all?), discarded (none of the other families would believe that the 7th child would have died, and the looming threat of the 7th child would always linger, as there would always be a Lord Orellen), and steps taken to prepare for such an eventuality.

Characters also have highly distinct "voices", and several moments between the MC and his adoptive family are quite sweet and touching at times.

Style: Technically perfect and evocative of more traditional fantasy works. This could absolutely be a published novel.

Overall, this seems to be an extremely promising work, and I highly recommend it if the current low chapter counts are not an issue for you.

I would seriously pay money for more of this, so its just too bad that the author hasn't set up a Patreon yet
syncmx
Overall

If only chapters would come out faster. Best new novel I've read in a while. The start was a bit confusing but as you progress it starts to make more sense  After which you become hooked to the story and sadly join the hoards of people drumming on the author's doors for more chapters. 

Eyeeric
Overall

One of the best written stories since mother of learning. It flows, it's detailed, the world is vast... just is an amazing read so far. I don't have a single complaint so far. Although it is a slow burn, it doesn't feel like it as you read the chapters. The world building and character development is very enjoyable. Keep up the good work! 

docjaysw
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

After approximately 21 chapters, and having started at chapter 1, I would say the story is solid and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.  Well written overall and not necessarily just following one prior trope / cliche.  I'd encourage you to consider it, and to consider starting from the beginning.  Additionally, as the story seems to shift around chapter 9, I enjoyed each major section so far.  As an advanced review I'm expected to leave 200 words, but I'd rather not create spoilers and find it challenging to go further in depth without revealing more of the stoy, which seems to defeat the point of encouraging someone to read the story from the a review.

In short, the premise is somewhat unique in multiple ways, both in the first and second section.  While the second section (following chapter 9) seems to be the actual story and not just a prologue or premise, it is still a bit early to tell exactly where the story will go.  So far the slice of life take has been quite enjoyable to follow though, and has hinted at many possible directions and twists the author could take the story in.  As long as the author continues frequent updates and the quality they have been giving, it should continue to be a good story.

Disgruntoad
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Real Gem, Thanks to Incredibly Skilled Author

Reviewed at: Chapter 22: Islanders

Warning: Spoilers (hidden) are extensive. Don't open if not up to Ch 22.

Summary

A prophesy delivered by a true seer foretells the possible arrival of the world's strongest magus from the 9th child of the lead Orellen, who oversees the trading empire for a family of portal mages. Given a headstart, the Orellens develop a scheme to give their family the best chance at survival, hoping for their 9th child to reach adulthood. When the prophesy is finally revealed to the world, several dominant wizarn families, upset by my the possible shift in the currents of power, band together to end the Orellen line... The story follows Kalen Orellen, who has no memories aside from one brother, a luck-magic coin, and a hair-schemed plot to obfuscate his origin. Hidden away at the edge of the world where magic is weak & fluctuating, he starts to come into his wizarn powers. The story's main plot is the coming-of-age / adventure / progression fantasy of this young mage.

Writing

Excellent. Professional. Compelling. Great syntax & diction.

Story

Exciting & interesting! Fast-paced and enjoyable with meaningful character development and considerate time-skips. If anything, slow down and flesh out some of the world and characters more before rushing ahead with (the great!) plot. The MC's friends, for instance, are a bit 1D.

Worldbuilding

Not bad by any means, but not something I would (yet) complement the author on. The world feels real and interesting, but not too novel or memorable. So far most worldbuilding is about the magic (which is great). The world itself needs to be fleshed out more and given as much care as the magic than flows through it.

Eg, what are the flora and fauna like? How is it unique due to fluctuations near the rift, far from the continent. We've seen this influence the magic system, but not the world itself as of yet. Are there magical beasts? What're the religions? What's society like? The story is still young, I expect much of this to be fleshed out more as the author continues.

Magic System

Reminiscent of Mother of Learning, the magic system here is evocative, logical, and truly feels alive and palpable in a way few authors manage. So far, the magic has been well developed, consistent, and promising. Really love the lore and excited to see more! It's a well-designed blend of DnD-esque magic classes and Xinxia cultivation stages.

Style

I would argue that the first 8 chapters have too much exposition which would be better left unresolved for the readers. I think the author should consider redacting a few of these chapters and releasing them later on.

Specifically, I would shorten the prologue to the story of Elph (sans soul collection--end with him eating the tails), the backstory of luck magic, just the intro to the 2nd world (again, sans soul collecting), and the reception of the prophecy by House Orellen... The specific path/solution that Iven Orellen selects is better left unresolved. This adds a lot of tension and mystery for readers while still giving a broader view.

Characters

Characters are enjoyable and fun! They've got distinct personalities, speech patterns, and diction that give them more flavor. So far, characters are fairly one-dimensional, but the story is still nascent. The POV chapters are smooth and compelling and add to the story, rather than detracting from it. So far, excellently done. My one complaint is that several of the characters are quite thin, and I think the author should add some chapters to flesh them out.

I would add a few chapters (2-4) giving some more interaction between the MC and his mom / father / friends. Maybe while he's growing up, give a few shorter time skips to meaningful events / developments in his life / interactions with them. These chapters can also be used to flesh out more of the worldbuilding as discussed above. Eg, have a scene where the MC first meets his mom. There's not a lot of depth to many of the main relationships so far, so it'd make it much more compelling for readers to understand how much he cares about his friends and family when he chooses not to leave the village. It'd also make the fight between MC and his mom pack more of a punch.

 

Bloetuu
Overall

This Story is incredibly good once you get past the first 3/4 chapters. Up to that point i was not sure as it seemed to jump wildly between characters and places. Admittedly that background is helpful but could also has come up more organically at a later point (reason for my 4/5).

After that intro the story really kicks into gear following our young protagonist as they grow and explore their apparent gifts with the arcane.

This story has managed to avoid becoming a number simulator (thankyou sweet merciful god) keeping itself firmly grounded in the realism of its world. It is well crafted and you very much feel that you are reading an organic tale in a fully realised and complex world of interacting parties jostling for influence and power.

There is no instantly op MC where everything comes easy.

There are no paper thin characters who only exist to wax on about how great and handsome the mc is.

There is no awkward long winded rants about the authors views thinly disguised as story telling.

You very much get the impression that the world is full of powerful and wonderous beings that aren't instantly about to start acting like our MC is inexplicably worthy of their time and attention because the author seems too in love with their character to maintain the realism (glances at that story where the mc suddenly goes from adventurer to machiavellian mastermind outsmarting gods for no reason!).

Honestly I have read a lot on RR and rarely write reviews as I'm too critical and fairly jaded at this point so trust me when I say that as of right now this story is going places and is well worth your time.