Hunting for jade beauties~ A trash novel

by

Sake Vision

16. God or Devil?! - The Mightiest Man Who Appeared in Santa's Anus!

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The following day, I’m powerwalking to school.


Not afraid of being run over by a car, I just cross the street on red light, almost causing an accident, screams of terror, rage and countless honks following in my wake.

Finally, the school building comes in sight. Rather than walking in through the broken fence behind, I bravely take the main entry by storm, and the electric door open before me, trembling in fear.

Next, I walk up Santa’s Anal Probe all the way to the 2nd realm, where the classroom nesting most depraved villains was located.

I command the door to open, but the door remains closed.

“So you have chosen death, huh”

Then I kick it open, tearing it from the hinges.

As I walk inside over the corpse of defeated enemy, all the arrogant young masters sitting inside stand up screaming “wtf” while the teacher, sensing what’s up, takes cover under the desk.

[Quest: ‘Avenge Vanya’ updated: ‘Defeat the villain!’]


“Who was the one who beat my sworn brother up the other day?”

Everyone points to buff young master sitting in the corner, a shameless porn mag in his hands.

I point to the magazine and demand:

“Let the woman go.”

He does as he’s told, then stands up to me and laughs.

“Long Dong, you’re just a small fry. Everyone knows you’re a pushover! Did you come all the way hear to court death!?”

My eyes, hidden beneath my shrodinger’s bangs, darken, a dark shadow overcomes my heart.

“This time, I have the power of Pink Floyd on my side….” I point at him dramatically and add “Killer Queen already touched your face!”

Hearing that, he gets mad, and swings a fist at me.

Normally, before they do this, they put a paralyze spell on me, making me unable to move and react to their attacks. However, this time, I feel nothing- I’m so overleveled, their little tricks don’t work on me anymore!

Truly, I’m like a max level player returning to the tutorial area!

His fist flies at me in slow motion. I calmly block it with open palm, and then clench my fingers around it.


“Why do you hear boss music?” I ask him coldly

“I don’t hear any…”

Not waiting until he responds, a blue tarzan appears behind my back, and shouts

“ORA”

Then I punch him in the face, and he flies off, crashing against the desk.

Rising up, he spits blood and takes out a knife.

“Prepare to die!”

I grab a chair and raise it menacingly above my head

“You are already dead.” I state the fact calmly.

For a while we’re just staring at each other, like cowboys in old western movies.

Then he charges at me!

[Evade]

[Block]
>[Do nothing]


I chose the last option, and take a knife to my chest.
The blade gets lodged deeply in my body, and a fountain of blood erupts, dying my opponent crimson.

He steps back and laughs, but quickly his laugh is replaced by an expression of utter terror, as he sees how indifferent my expression is.

“---Wha?”

“Tolya, retreat! This guy is high as fuck!”

However, there is nowhere for him to retreat. I slowly approach, chair still risen above my head, and stare straight into his eyes.

“Wait, listen! We can talk about it!”

“.....Never bring a knife to a chair fight!”

I respond by crashing the chair against his skull over and over again. After there is nothing left of him but bits and pieces, I throw the chair away, and spit.

“Pink Floyd is invincible”

[Quest: ‘Avenge Vanya’: Succeeded! +20 exp!]

 

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About the author

Sake Vision

  • kisama

Bio: There once was a man insane
Trapped in the hellish pit of pain
Above, far away he saw the light
He wanted to escape his plight

So he caught a spider thread
And moved up, ahead....
The thread was so fickle, so thin
It broke quickly and dropped him

Back to the bottom.

But he didn't give up, a new thread appeared
Over and over again, undaunted upwards he steered

Eventually, he noticed the surface isn't so far
He was close to the blazing bright star
In truth, every time he fell, the man died
In his pit, a mountain of corpses lied
Moving, pushed by an ocean of blood
Cemented by yellow and brown mud

The man escaped from this grueling hell
His newlyfound freedom broke the spell
The light was just a mirage, a delusion
And now he was free from the illusion

He looked back at the pit, now filled to the brim
With innumerable mutilated pieces of him

There was no going back to the familiar hell.

So he traveled the wasteland, alone
He found many pits similar to his own
And many unfortunate souls within
One day he imagined it was his twin

He produced a thin spider thread
And let it down, crafting more dead...

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Comments(17)
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tfisb ago

> Let the woman go.

Deep down, Long Dong is a hero of justice.

Sorhun ago

I Just found this on the latest updates and holy hell, you're awesome OP. Not as awesome as Long Dong tho.

Mad Sadie ago

"Never bring a knife to a chair fight!" Truly, words of wisdom.

Also, what are Schrodinger bangs?

Gabriel minoru ago

Is It dropped or is It a break?

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