Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Second-life can be Hell.

EJ, a young and dead secretary, struggles to find her place amidst the turmoil of an unforgiving dystopia. Romance, intrigue, strife, and the violence of modern life all take their toll on the ghoulish debutante as she tries her best to stay sane and safe. Tensions are high and climbing by the second within her home city of Vitus, and all she can do is try to stay afloat. Between finding peace with her own unlife and the attentions of the city's denizens, can she avoid being drowned in the rising tide?

A dark romantic thriller for mature audiences. Enjoy responsibly.

Updates come out on Fridays, at 8:00 PM CST, for that authentic nighttime feeling. 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 7,154
  • Average Views :
  • 286
  • Followers :
  • 82
  • Favorites :
  • 32
  • Ratings :
  • 28
  • Pages :
  • 307
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
MarcieTheVillain

MarcieTheVillain

Possibly From Michigan

Achievements
Word Count (9)
Group Leader (V)
5,000 Views
10 Review Upvotes
15 Comments
Top List #2000
Fledgling Reviewer (III)
Advertisement
Remove
Table of Contents
25 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Modern Graveyard; or A Vampire's Footstool ago
The Jezebel; or, Bodily Purity ago
Coffin-Jockey; or, Cold and Warm Tango + ago
A Brief Interlude - Master and Expert ago
Heartcake; or, Eat It Too ago
Hard to Hold; or, Confrontationally Challenged; or, Wouldn't It Be Funny if I Had A Third Title Here ago
A Much Longer Interlude - Viva Italia, Viva Venezia, Viva Il Doge; or, Be My Dark Angel ago
Death and Consequences; or, The Meaning Of Life ago
Dream a Little Dream of Me; or, Three Rights Do Make A Left ago
One Title’d Chapter; or... ago
Prelude to Pestilence; or, Don Dracula's Revenge ago
Best Served Warm; or, I Like My Stake Rare ago
Red Red Wine; or, Ring-Finger + // ACT ONE - END // ago
Act 2 - // HEART-STRING QUARTET // Ch. 1 Fünf; or, Baby It’s Cold + ago
Act 2 - Interlude - Dance Advance Revolution; or, Somewhere Across Town ago
Act 2 - Red in the White; or, That Time The Author Forgot A Chapter Name ago
Act 2 - What Must Be Done; or, Oh, the Humanity(?) ago
Act 2 - Absolution; or, Being Pushed Too Far ago
Act 2 - The Only Place Is Here; or, The Only Time Is Now ago
Act 2 - A Brief Respite; or, A Day In The Sun ago
ACT 2 - //A Somewhat Longer Interlude// - Deadline; or, The Asset ago
ACT 2 - Hungry Hungry Hedonists; or, Lunch for Lovers ago
Act 2 - Troubled Waters; or, Tasted Tester ago
Act 2 - Lovelorn; or, Love Lorn ago
Act 2 - Home and Healing; or, Failed Perception Check ago

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
GrimDux
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

all the good reviews in my opinion.

Marcie builts a very interesting story here, starting small and deceptively works following a not often used trope of getting too intimate to our main characters very early.

Uncomfortably intimate for some, I will venture a guess, but it is as I said early. Personally I found the much hyped scene, beautifuly written.

Moving on. 

Early is a key word here. Vitus is a big world/ city, lively, bright and dark at the same time, a neon dystopia that whispered Blade Runner to my senses. Because it does play with the readers senses.

 

Very descriptive, with the author giving a helping hand (much more than I believe is perhaps prudent at times) but never really missing the point and getting us out of a scene. Quite the contrary, every character, every place and most actions are well-described, rich decorative language is used, when it is proper and we get to learn our protagonist very well.

 

The themes are many and birthed mostly out of our 'heroine's' agst over her life's troubles. Real problems that deal with personal demons, acceptance and the strive of all beings for success, survival and a chance at happiness in life.

 

The world is large and I expect more will be revealed as it is still too early in the story. Set in modern times, it remains grounded giving us glimpes of life in Vitus. More political intrigue is unveiled with each chapter. As are the antagonists.  I won't spoil it here and will leave this part for when I will edit this review to an advanced one.

 

Extremely well crafted prose but for minute details. No editing problems worth of note and the style, while thick and condenced, lessen's in later chapters. I will again have to read more here though.

 

It is a story for people with an open mind and heart. It won't shy away from 'difficult' scenes or topics. It will drive ahead, sensual and descriptive as if to shout to the heaven's: there's no borders to what a person should enjoy or what can be stimulating.

Or humorous. 

"Safe word is taxes, no one likes them you know?'" is voiced during an intense moment, in the middle of the 'spicy' scene some of the reviewers and myself mentioned earlier. It gives away a clue for later but I thought it riotously funny. It broke the tension and it showed true talent for me. Lots of little nuggets of it everywhere. I like humor and I found myself cracking a smile even at innorportune moments. Perhaps it's me.

 

Was the 'revelation' shocking? Well, perhaps some will think so. To each his own, can't please everyone.

Is it a deal breaker? Absolutely not. This is a solid story. 

Stick with it, as it finds its footing the tale becomes progressively better.

 

Plus, I have a weak spot for pink-haired girls. I know, I know.

spoilers.

 

 

 

 

Kathy
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I have to say that this was really enjoyable to read. The story and the world are original and intruiging, and the writing makes it so immersive. There were a few points where it could have been better, but I think that feeling comes from the exceptional standards the writer sets for the readers from the start. 

The style excels at description. Occassionally it slips towards the purple, but only rarely and usually with intent. Descriptions are often original and interesting too rather than formulaic, which I really enjoyed. Food is described with luxurious detail because the main character is a zombie, and it adds to their perspective. The dialogue feels genuine. It's a luxuriously immersive read, and never feels info-dumpy.

The story really ramps up as it goes along, and more and more of the world is shown off. There are so many directions where this story can go, and I'm excited for all of them. 

The character of CJ is very well done. At the beginning of the story, I will say she has more passive elements to her actions than active, but I feel that this will become a character arc for her to take control of her life as it goes on. The side characters have really strong personalities and I'm just excited to see more of them.

I'm really looking forward to reading more, and highly recommend it to anyone who likes the undead, evil corporations and neon lights. 

WoodenDrumRhythm
Overall

Don't get me wrong - this a great novel. The... scene was entertaining to read, if you know what I mean... however, I'm not sure if it's because this novel is young or maybe it's just me, but I don't see how the few early chapters will tie into what the synopsis is suggesting - mainly the recent cases of dead mentioned. 

I don't know. I really mean this in the nicest way possible, but the first few chapters seem like a bit of filler when you take into account the synopsis. Hopefully author can tie it all together and make me look like a stupid dumb hater.

A promising novel with great grammar and word choice. Personally, the formatting of chapters isn't for me as I generally need bigger spaces between sentences and I do prefer separating dialogue/ inner monologue from actual sentences.

But who am I to judge? To each his own, and I can definitely see why this novel is rated so highly.

 

Lub it, Marcie. <3

Buller
Overall

Listen.

When you have sentences that include "Vampiric hormones," it should be clear just how this all works. Very detailed descriptions, conversations having a backturn on how included it is. There are more than a few parts where it just went on and on about some detail. Not enough to make me annoyed but enough to make it noticeable.

4.5/5. Might change when more chapters gets put out

UPDATE: Seems to have improved through the later chapters. Rating changed to 5/5

JMMatheis
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

*Firstly, this is a no spoiler review.*

 

Heartthrob… if there is one word I could use to describe it so far, it would be “vivid”. I think that every word I could use to describe MarcieTheVillain’s writing could have that one word attached in its various forms. She is definitely demonstrating a firm and bold hand at utilising the genre and I am looking forward to seeing where it goes. 

Style:
The style, it IS style, It screams style, in all the different facets of the second-life that is being portrayed. The descriptions and imagery that the author utilises has caught me going back more than once just to make sure I read it correctly. Marcie wields similes with slick grace and dark humour, turning what would normally be a mundane description into a glorious parade of energetic, yet gritty imagery. The first chapter and that description of the main character’s death!!! One line of dark humour painted a picture of a thousand words that has me chuckling to myself even now.

The style itself at the moment brings to mind hard-boiled, film noir with the inner narrative and voice, but without the detectives and cops. While in opposition, at times it screams sensuality and in the next breath, whispers sensitivity.

Those descriptions of food I just read… 

Story:
The story is moving along at a well-defined pace. Considering everything that is being packed in, Marcie is demonstrating great control of the pacing.

The story itself is linked inherently to style, the world she is painting is surprisingly deep and well imagined with an easy to relate to and understand take on modern society (with a twist). I do not want to do any spoiling here so I will just say that it is well conceived and despite it not being my usual read, this got me hooked within the first two paragraphs of the first chapter.

Tension and foreshadowing are used well and to great effect! Exposition is cleanly implemented and feels like it an organic part of the story.

Characters:
The characters… There is a lot of depth, and not one of them should be taken at face value. At this point of the story every character that has come across EJ has felt like they belonged to the world. Once again, the style and story bleed (no pun intended) into and complement the main character’s narrative and inner voice.

At this point there is a scene that required tact and a sensitive approach, it was guided deftly and driven with a firm hand to great effect. It delivered a distinct level understanding and fragility to the main players in the story so far.   

Grammar:
Grammar is well-sorted, nothing immediately stuck out or caused any concerns for readability. Considering the energetic style of the writing, grammar is tight and clean.

Overall, this type of story/genre is not for everyone, but one thing for certain is that it will convert quite a few of you that are sitting on the fence. I will sum this review up with a mixture of the comments I have given to this point. This story is a hell of a ride, the imagery is energetic and vivid and at the same time gritty and dark. I would strongly suggest reading it as an experience. At this point I am left patiently waiting to see how this tale will unfold. If these several chapters are any indicator, this is going to be a rollickingly wild ride! I highly recommend!

Update 13/11/2021:  This story is going from strength to strength!!! 

SubwayChud
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Grammar – Through eight chapters I caught exactly one misspelled word. That’s it. I’ll misspell more than that in this review. I don’t care much about grammatical errors and don’t look too hard for them, but nothing egregious jumped out to me at all.

Story – Vitus, a city of the undead that feels completely alive.  The worldbuilding is well planned and frankly, a lot of fun. There are so many nice touches here to make the setting vibrant and grungy. My personal favorite was a restaurant named “Hot Sesame Sinewdles”, so fitting for a place serving the undead and a great pun. The world’s social and corporate structures are explained without being dwelled on and the author adds some cool touches to the biology of the various undead. While only eight chapters didn’t give me a solid grasp of the main plotline it moved along pretty briskly.  There is a grounded introduction to the MC and her mundane, undead life. There’s a tastefully steamy scene (not overly graphic) and a gritty fight. So far, there’s really something for everyone.

Style – The author expertly wields descriptive prose and uses some absolutely fantastic similes/metaphors. The writing is down-to-earth, witty, and emotional when need be. The only ding here for me is a few moments of switching tenses (past to present).  

Characters – The MC and two others get significant development early on. The MC especially is very well fleshed out in short order. She’s relatable, funny (if a bit of a passive sad-sack), and easy to warm up to and root for. The other characters are a bit more rambunctious, but I don’t think they overwhelm her in a negative way. The MC seems to be the calm straw that stirs a very wild drink so far.

Overall – I totally dug this and highly recommend it. It’s a creative genre mashup – grungy, witty, urban fantasy with some dashes of romance and action (and that's only 8 chapters in)

CShadrockz
Overall

Strong imagery and great use of narration

Reviewed at: A Brief Interlude - Master and Expert

I reviewed this at chapter five - The story is well-written and absolutely engaging from the first chapter. The prose is unique, carrying passive sentences to demonstrate the passiveness of our main character. The story itself is nice, and paced well with great imagery. Some things could improve like more showing vs telling in the narration, especially as more scenes unfold and new characters are introduced. Another note is to give more distinction in the narration when the perspectives change, only because the first perspective of our main character is so defined and distinct, I craved seeing how it switches between the characters.

The fifith chapter so far is my favorite and a great catch/hook for readers not sure if it's a story that'll keep them captivated or not.

Overall, a good read and visceral.

Hi_Im_Ren
Overall

Oh gosh, I really shouldn't rave like this but dang! I absolutely loved my time with this, every second of it. I can't give this less than 5 stars, I simply can't! I want to give it 6 stars but that isn't possible so I'll settle for this.

This fiction has one of the coolest concepts I've ever seen, Cyberpunk+Undead and it wasn't even halfway through the first chapter that I was completely sold on this world (I went to bed thinking of how economics would apply to this world, that's how deep I went into the rabbit hole) In only the four chapters I read, I fell for the characters so hard with their hidden complexities oozing out. The imagery is amazing too, I feel like I could see everything. I just really loved this fiction, Heartthrob Fridays are going to be a thing for me now.

I do feel like there are things that could be improved, however, even with the few things that occasionally threw me off it's still my personal favorite on RR (at this time)

Go read this now, it's too good to pass up.

Pinto_Bean
Overall

One of the most unique settings and takes on modern day undead and how they would fit within the day to day drudgery of society. The story is engaging and also has well-written characters with motivations & personalities. If you enjoy interesting characters and an engrossing story then I would highly recommend it for you.

Diqan
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

*I just want to note that as of this point in time I have read six chapters, so my review could be subject to change at a later date. 

 

Heartthrob has a very interesting and unique premise, with a world of ghouls, vampires, zombies, and humans all living together in the city of Vitus. The author does great at providing in depth descriptions of the bizarre commodities and lifestyles that exist solely in this city of the undead. 

 

Story: As I stated above, the premise is solid, with an engaging world of the undead. I think the author does a good job at giving a certain vibe to the city and it’s inhabitants. The action scene that I read until, was alright, though I think due to the dense writing style of the author, it falls flat a bit. I might suggest the author try experimenting with their prose and how it can affect the way a reader interprets a scene. (Ex. A simple one is the length of your sentences and words themselves. Shorter words or sentences can string a reader along quicker, and give a stronger sense of urgency.)

 

Style: The author does great at giving detailed descriptions in the story. The dialogue is fine, with no discernible issues, and flows fairly well. I think the pacing of the story is very slow, which can be fine, however with the amount of detailed descriptions, it can be dense and somewhat difficult to get through at times. 

 

Grammar: The grammar seems solid. It’s not something I know deeply, so I can only make surface level comments, but nothing stuck out as being poorly written. 

 

Characters: The main character EJ is an office worker who has a dry sense of humor and seemingly a lack of self confidence. If I’m being honest, I didn’t gather too much about her from the chapters I read beyond that. I think she has promise as a character and I hope the author fleshes her out more in later chapters, such as adding more backstory about her and her family. The side characters are also fairly flat, but I think that may have more to do with how few chapters exist currently. 

 

Overall: I think this story has promise, with an interesting world and gritty nature. I think if the author varies their style a bit for different scenes, and gives more of an insight into the characters backgrounds, then the story will flourish.