Freya Uki wanted to raise chickens and make a life for herself apart from her family. Maybe she'd become a midwife like her grandmother, or maybe she'd become a hermit who lived in the swamp.
Unfortunately for her, her mother has ambitions to regain the social standing lost after her grandmother married outside the gentry. Only becoming the most eligible debutante of the season will do, with the most suitors vying for her hand. Coalition officers? Druids? A rabbit captain of the scouts?
Freya has no idea what she is getting into.
In which a mouse navigates the decisions in her life.
Redmist Updates Monday, Wednesday And Friday.
Copy editing (certain chapters) is by Sabrina: [email protected]
Cover art is by: http://phylodox.com
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
Weaver has taken the time to set up a world that is incredibly charming and secretive. It's also very much alive. Just like the real world, you can feel that there are moving parts that we aren't seeing. You could drop in anywhere in the world weaver has created and there would be anything and everything happening there.
This reads and feels like Redwall but more casual and inviting for readers. I'm definitely coming back to this down the line, because just the set up has me fully invested. Definitely give Red Mist a shot, because if the story only grows from here, it's going to be one heck of a ride.
For starters, the characters are well written. The descriptions are better than what I write (Kudos on that). The spelling and grammer are solid. The plot progresses at a proper clip (not to fast, not to slow). All in all, I am really enjoying this series, come along for the ride and enjoy it with me!
The idea of making a coming of age story about a young Mouse girl trying to discover what she wants to do for her life sounds like it would be silly but the novel takes its time exploring well its world and characters long enough that you just get sucked into its charm and starts to accept it.
Not really many complaint to make. I think anyone can read the first few chapters and get a good grasp of what kind of story this will be.
The main lead Freya is very likable and she is surrounded by equally likable characters that are trying to help her find her path as we continue to get to known this world and its rules.
And the world itself seems to be well planned and filled with potential for exploration.
We follow Freya in the universal tale of being shoved from childhood to face the responsibilities of being an adult, but if it’s going to happen, it’ll be on her terms. She must navigate choices that are thrown at her to reach her goals and to ultimately experience the life she wants. Like any strong protag, she makes her choices and sticks to them, hoping for the best. Whether they’ll end up being good or regretted, we have yet to find out, but the journey is worth the ride.
Style: Clear POV all the way through. It’s very easy to read, smoothly written, with little, if anything, to pull you out of the story. The story is fluid, transitioning from one scene to the next and doing a wonderful job at foreshadowing. The pacing is steady without any awkward lags, and dialogue is very good, with several witty exchanges.
There isn’t a particularly strong narrative voice, but that’s not necessary in a story like this.
Story: With easy-to-follow characters, you get caught up in their lives and clear drives of Freya and her friends. It’s worth it to pay attention to the details to prepare yourself for things to come. Information is given, but not all at once, making the story more intriguing with every new bit we find out.
Grammar/Readability: No major problems here. Formatting is good, no real issues with grammar or punctuation. If there is anything, it’s nothing that will really deter you from the story - and that’s what matters.
Characters: Solid. You get a good sense of each character when they’re introduced, but are not overwhelmed with information about them. Even with the information you are given, you want to know more and what comes next for them. I think they are presented in a way to get you to feel something for each character, whether it’s hope, humor, or suspicion.
If you are interested in reading this to your children, each chapter is just long enough to hold their attention as a bedtime story. The characters are easy to follow and are described vividly, from physical characteristics to personality, making it easy for the reader to imagine them and thus dream of rodents riding chickens.
Seriously. This thing grows over 1k words a day...
Full disclosure, I helped edit this work (I and weavervale share a writing group), and oh, boy, was it a lot of work... It is a strange feeling to come here and look at the final version, and see all the progress made over many versions, rounds of editing and stuff. And what more can I say... I'm glad I helped create something so many people can now enjoy.
My only overall complaint would be the speed of writing. It takes so much time to go through all of it all the time. Well... that, and having to go through all the unpolished stuff so that you can get the beautiful end product you're getting.
The one thing I think could use the most work here is the style. Keep in mind that I don't think I've ever read something that wouldn’t benefit from another editing pass... Some parts of the style just can't land right with me, but I suppose it could be more of a 'me' problem than a 'story' problem. It is still a lot better than the vast majority of what I've read on this site so far (not the best, but quite good).
Yeah, well... if I had any concerns, I'd have pointed them out before it was out. No complains about what you guys get to read.
I'm not a 100% target audience for this story, which makes it a bit harder to appreciate it properly. I can say that most characters behave logically most of their time, at least according to their internal emotion-driven logic with tons of rationalisation. The end product seems to work, though.
I'd say that characters are one of the strongest sides of this work. They are... well, 'believable' isn't the best word when talking about talking rodents, but... yeah, I don't think I'll come up with a better one. They are quite interesting and varied - I really like that they're not just copies with minor changes, but have actual differences between them, each of them has their own goals, and works toward reaching it.
I'll be honest i expected this to be a kind of story where oh look animals talk and that's it. But no these characters a loveable and wonderful. The pacing is well done and I don't stop getting requests from my little sisters to read to them the little mice girl. It's a wonderful story would read two times over 5/5
This is an interesting case. To be honest, I am not really fond of these zoo-topia like stories mainly because the animal protags at times seem even more human than humans.
So what is the point in making him a tiger or a zebra?
But Red Mist surprised me here in a good way.
The characters here are not just a mouse or rabbit in name, but their biological form actually dictates their speech, their monologues, their culture and everything.
The MC, for example, is 'very' mouse-like. She has human problems, but also o mouse problems. I mean, as many mouse problems a mouse can have in a fancy noble setting.
One of the strong points of this story is the dialogue. It just feels right. When Raina or Freya says something, it makes me think that 'yes, this is exactly what a rabbit or mouse might say if they could talk.' Dialogue also acts as a pseudo-scene transition.
Sometimes it does feel like it is taking all the pressure from the other story elements to move the plot forward, but it hasn't hampered my reading experience in any way.
The story as a whole has a familiar vibe to it. I am talking about the style. Something like Arthur? (The anthropomorphic mouse cartoon). It feels it reads like a fairytale for kids. However, we do see some more extensive elements at play here around and after chapter 11.
The only thing I think the story should really work on is some of the technical aspects. I have sometimes seen the tense suddenly changing. Paragraphs also feel pretty long, and there are typos here and there. However, these were easily overlookable once I got into the flow of things. I would say they didn't significantly hamper my immersion, as these errors, while they exist, are few in number.
So let me start this review off my saying that anything said here is to be taken as constructive criticism, and nothing more. With that out of the way, let me introduce you to Red Mist, and its pros and cons.
Red Mist follows a young girl by the name of Freya. Freya also happens to be a mouse. Now, that was enough to interest me in the story. Not many stories here in RoyalRoad follow the story of a non-human, much less a non-human who is a full-on animal.
Reading the first few chapters, one can't help but feel pity and endearment towards little Freya. She is essentially a small child... a small mouse at heart. She enjoys bedtime stories, listens to her authority figures, and sometimes acts up.
Freya's character is well-constructed, so that is a major bonus of this story. She is consistent, lovable, and not flawless.
The whole plot itself is something that seems like it was made up by a professional children's author/ young adult author. Seriously, Weavervale's plot is so... raw and unique that I can't help but feel interested. It makes you ask: "what happens next?"
Now, with all my praises, there has to be some criticisms of this novel... and you'd be right. I never expect a novel to be perfect (especially if it's posted in RR), but that isn't an excuse for not pointing out faults.
The first fault I noticed was the times when the author would start commiting one of the cardinal sin of writing... info-dumping. The one example that comes to mind is in chapter 3 where Yellowrock is mentioned. Freya isn't going to Yellowrock, and hasn't shown any indication that she was going to Yellowrock - at least in that chapter.
But still, the author explained what Yellowrock looked like, its features, etc etc. and I felt a bit sad. Usually, introducing Yellowrock and its features would come as Freya went there, but no. I don't mean to be presumptious, but it seemed like a ploy to get an extra 100 or so words to meet a certain word count... sorry if that sounds a bit rude, but trust me - I've thought about doing something similar before.
Another con, though relatively small this time, is the sligthly confusing writing. There were some times in the novel that left me wondering if I missed a paragraph or something, so there's that. The only reason this is a small con is because... I don't trust myself enough to read every single word and understand a plot - so if it's my bad, then I apologize Weavervale.
All in all, this novel, as the title of my review states, is a novel with an A+ plot and idea with a B+ execution. It is better than 92.99% of novels on this site, but definitely still needs work. It's not quite there yet, but with a small amount of tuning... I don't doubt that this novel will be a successful one.
Good luck author, and please take my words with a grain of salt (I myself, am an amateur, after all)
Only 35 chapters in, yet its shaping up to be a very interesting story. Politics, matchmaking and intrigue make up this fantasy story of mice, foxes, rabbits and more. The factions of creatures, and their dynamics haven't been fully explored yet, but I'm excited to see where it goes. The idea of training Chicken cavalry is brilliant, and exploring the magic of the Druids and their society shows a depth of world building leaves you wanting more.
Whilst it's been a while since I read them, and perhaps just because of the characters being animals, but this is really reminiscent of Redwall, which I love.
The grammar and style of writing are nigh on impeccable. I've rarely - if ever - seen a mistake, and it's written in a very solid, easy to read style. It hasn't explored (and perhaps won't explore) any dark themes, but the perceived depth of where this could go keeps me invested.
I'm very excited to see where this story goes, and how the characters evolve over time, and I'm really loving Freya as the MC. Her friends, family, mentors and suitors give a wide range of characters, each unique and giving their own element to the story. You can see how they will affect Freya over time, and mould her growth (Plus her siblings are super cute xD).
Perhaps I'll edit this review later on, but it's definitely worth a shot!
Red mist is a calm and relaxing story that follows Freya, a small and young mouse, as she tries to understand the path she wants her life to take. It flows like a story made for children yet has a thematic that can still be enjoyed by adults. It’s in a way a good story to tell your kids and a story to relax.
The story's strong point comes from the dialogues that are the main narrative movement that bind all the small scenes. The narrative follows the main heroine but still allows enough space for the side character to be known and loved. It set an interesting world where many small parts are set up for now but are not yet fully explored. This is not really wrong since the story is taking its time which allows for every character to be those that are explored and being part of the story’s strong point like I said.
The story also is able to keep a sense of wonder by the small details it gives such as giant chickens.
I wasn’t able to see any grammatical mistakes and the story kept a high and constant quality. Still, this is an early review since the story can take many paths just as Freya has many paths to choose from.