Sixteen year old Marvin Perlie finds himself exposed to a world of wizards, monsters and more as he struggles to make peace with his own past, insecurities, and the friends and enemies in this new world.
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A good old high school teenage drama story, filled with supernatural creatures, magic, an MC with a traumatic past and currently a sassy, mysterious girl as a side character.
The author definitely managed to keep me interested through some plot points throughout the first three chapters.
There are several sentences here and there that made me squint a bit, didn't seem anything too major, but could definitely use some more editing to make the reading more seamless.
Story Score: This is a very interesting story about living with a handicap I guess. I like the secret-magic vibe with a group of teenagers. It’s a used trope but a funny one in that case. It’s always enjoyable!
Style Score: Classic. Nothing much to say here. Descriptions could be evasive but it didn’t bother me. I’d say it will gain by adding more focus as the pacing is well-balanced.
Character Score: The main character makes me think of Ged from Earthsea (from Ursula K. Le Guin). Marvin is likable, show some weakness but overcome the torments of life. The rest of the cast still need room to really shine but, so far, they’re promising. For me, this is the best part – where a lot of work have been done. I loved the dialogues; it had something to do with the personas/voice.
Grammar: Minor mistakes that are forgettable. It could use some polish but it did not stop me from enjoying the story.
Overall: How do you keep up in life with such suffering from your past? By starting over and keeping bangin’. Meeting people will change Marvin’s path, helping him slaying monster and grow. Blood’s Curse is a well-written interesting tale. I recommend this entertaining story as it get better after a while.
So, I gave this fic an overall 4.5/5. This is pretty much for one reason: I did find a couple of things here and there that were a bit rough around the edges. However, while it was enough to be notable, it was not enough to really take away from my overall experience and opinion about the story, but to go ahead and give my thoughts on each category:
There are some typos, but not enough to really bother me. When it comes to grammar, if it doesn't force me to stop, then it's not bad. It can always use some editing, but that also applies to plenty of great fics. Especially if a good story can keep my attention instead, speaking of
There's never a dull moment here, that's for sure. You can tell that the author improves his telling of what's happening with each and every chapter. From the MC's past to what he has to face in the now, there's plenty going on to keep you reading.
The MC is interesting, and the side characters around him seem well-made as well. He's relatable, a trait you always like to see in the character a story is focused around.
This was a bit iffy, since style is probably the most subjective category. But for my reading, it did feel like some things were incostinent in a way that's not quite just grammar. It did shake up my reading a bit, so i'd say it would need some improvement, but i'd still give it a 4/5.
This story is pretty classic. We start with Marvin who wants to live an ordinary life and blend in. But his actions draw more and more attention to himself. A magical world with werewolves, magicians, centaurs and the like. It's a pretty good story but I find the writing very much unpolished.
An interesting start of teens involved in saving a magical world all by themselves. This reminds me of Persona 5 and Teen Titans which share a similar concept. The ring that Marvin received is intriguing and keeps the readers interested in what's next.
Personal preference but this style is not to my liking. I like how the scenes are played out but I think the sarcasm and humor of the narrator could be better expressed.
There are quite a number of inconsistencies in the grammar. The formatting is also pretty messy and makes it difficult to read and absorb the relevant information. The dialogues are still okay but the prose is mostly a no-no. It really disrupts the flow of the story when I have to re-read certain lines. Still, I like to encourage the author to revisit the earlier chapters to edit and smoothen out the edges.
I believe the characters and story are great and making it an enjoyable read, if not for the grammatical mistakes here and there. Each character has a unique voice that makes them easily recognisable. So kudos to the author there!
My rating would be 3.75 for the current read but I believe this story has the potential to grow as the writer improves on his prose. So 0.25 for the potential this story has. To sum it up, the different characters and world building makes this story a potentially good one. Good job for taking the first step to write and publish your story publicly for the world to see. I hope my feedback will not put you down but rather, spur you on to writing better stories! All the best and keep it up!
Sorry If I'm late, something weird happened to me when I'm about to read your book, but anyway, whats important is I'm here already, hahaha-
Style - It could use a little bit of polishing, especially the tenses. The only thing I could say about the style is It's not that expanded, the descriptions are not clear, you know what I mean? It doesn't seem like a stylistic choice either so you can polish It a bit. Try using the sensory organs, like Olfactory, Tactile etc etc. Well and oh boy, there sure is a lot of typos but everyone already said that so I won't dig deeper anymore.
Story: I kinda like the story. The interactions of the MC with his family, to be specific, his grandma and the little girl(I don't remember her name, forgive me forgetfulness) is really cute and It said something about the MC's lifestyle so It's not a useless scene. You should probably focus more on polishing the clunkiness instead of the story since your story Is already fine
Grammar - Five star since I don't care about your Grammar
Character - This is probably one of the highlights of your story. That one girl who appeared like a slut in front of MC out of nowhere ended up becoming a lovable and important as the story goes on. Well, sure, you're supposed to hate her but I can't for some reason, gee, I wonder why. This stays true for all the characters, the MC, the grandma, the kid, the buffed guy, Marly(Wait, isnt Marly the girl I'm talking about? I'm pretty forgetful at this stuff)
Overall - It was a pretty entertaining read, just a bit polishing here and there and voila, you'll have your your very own magnum opus
Suffering injuries upon his body, scars that he wishes to hide, a prosthetic leg and probably much more. He enters into a new school. While kind he is, and much he has learned from. He has never had an easy time fitting in from what is shown. Which is understandable really, touching on a more deeper point. Where those having damage to their body might have uncomfortable experiences. Anyway, meeting a friend, those two seeming to hit it off. Then madness starts setting in, knocked out by a monster, and apparently woke up in some place. Getting into protectors, and the creature that attacked him. A solid enough transition I suppose.
One having difficulty with life, body of brokenness. Scars upon him, fitting in never an easy thing. His life changing upon his first day in school. Meeting a friend, an attack coming into place. Waking in some place, joining an association. Excitement within its simpleness. Studying magic, trying to combat those monsters. Potential hiding away within this tale. No matter so, some points having to be deducted. Not much, but it is lacking in description, let alone prose as well.
I do not grade style. Reason being, everyone will have their own preference. It is by far the least accurate form of gauging a story.
A cast of interesting characters to say. Marvin being quite likable I will say. Each complementing the other well enough. The story having a good blend between the tale and the characters, secrets hiding away. Rather favorable to say, a sort of tension to them to say.
There are issues with the grammar. It isn’t consistent, but enough to knockoff 0.5. Overall, it seems fine I will say.
One suffering damage upon his body, maturing over the years. No doubt an accident happening, costing him his parents, and leaving him with scars. Entering into a new school, not fitting in well. Meeting a friend, his life flipping. Joining an association, learning magic. Secrets within the shadows, monsters roaming. A nice mystery to it all, and an enlightening experience. I have to say, I recommend giving this story a shot. I will not spoil anything, head onward into this story. 🐕
This is overall a fun story about a group of teens secretly involved in a magical world. As someone who has always enjoyed modern fantasy stories like this, it hit me in the nostalgia and pure indulgence centres of the brain.
The style and grammar are the bumpy part though. Reading it is a little shaky with the changing tenses and errors here and there. The prose itself isn't the problem though, if the tense was consistent. There were a couple of clear mistakes that they just missed in the read-through as well - double words, that kind of thing. This sort of issue tends to go away with practice and a little bit of awareness on the part of the author. If you can look past this aspect though, I do think it's worth reading.
The story has strong premises and is definitely enough to pull you forward. If you like after-school magic-club style anime, this will be for you. That being said there were a few issues in delivering exposition, either too much at once or not enough at various points. The storylines as well felt somewhat jumbled, but these issues I think are just a growing pain for the writer, and even reading through I found it improving somewhat chapter on chapter, with the story's goal becoming more of a solid object across the board especially from around chapter 5 forward.
The characters don't all feel fully developed as of yet, but they do improve as it goes in. There is a large enough cast of unique ones, so I rarely ever got mixed up. Some characters, Marly in particular, can be slightly awkward to read at the beginning for being the tsundere trope, but she does improve somewhat and reveal further dimensionality. The main character Marvin is really the highlight of the story, being a likeable protagonist with enough spark of his own to snipe back at people pretty consistently (and you gotta love a tragic backstory).
Overall, I had a lot of fun reading through this. If you can put the flaws to one side and enjoy it for what it is, I don't think you'll be disappointed. I can see this growing into its own with time and becoming a real treat.
First things first; this story needs some edting done. There is quite a bit of inconsistent tense, missing punctuation among other things. Usually I don't sweat it when it's occassional, but in this story it can be quite frequent, so much so that it can ruin the flow because you'll be re-reading what you just read.
With that out of the way, I find Marvin to be a likeable and relatable character. He's trying to fit into a new school and lacks the social skills to properly do so. Overall, he comes off as being an underdog that you want to root for.
The world and premise itself are also interesting. Although the idea of fantasy monster hunting in a modern high school setting isn't original, here it is executed decently and is definitely something that readers can find enjoyable. Even though the story is still early on, there is some decent world building to be found.
Dialogue and narration can be rough/stiff at times, but it is consistent in both tone and voice so you don't feel confused when reading it.
I would have given it a 3.75 but since RR only works in half stars, I rounded up.
A new work by a new author trying out a new branch of artistry. That pretty much sums up my entire thought process for this review. The style, the way that the characters are written, and the way that the sentences are set up at heavily drenched in what can only be seen as a new author. There is a certain level of clunkiness, missed timing, and overall pacing that really does need to be worked on.
Not that one should hate it just because the formatting is weird. The story is alright enough for me to read, even if there were only two chapters put out(Might also wanna change those titles up.) I'll give this a 4.5/5 for the potential it has.
What can save you from the pit of despair when you're an insecure teenager with a past that haunts you? A world of wizards, that's what! Try being uprooted in your life to meet new friends and some new enemies as you struggle to come to terms with exactly who you are all the while the mysterious magic of an ancient blood curse encroaches upon your life.
Blood Curse by @slok
This is a blurb review. My rating is for the synopsis and idea of the story that I've written as a blurb with the author's permissions.