Currently releasing 5 chapters a week
Luke Kells liked only one thing about himself: his green eyes.
He hated getting bullied, hated being poor, hated being an orphan, hated his weakness, hated the government, hated his life. If someone had given him a button to push and kill everyone but him and his granddad, he would've done it without a second thought.
Then, one day, after fainting during a beating, he woke up with memories that would change his life.
Magic, martial arts, how to craft special artifacts; he knew it all. Anyone would’ve taken that path to glory at once. However, he had to deal with a lot on his plate first.
To even begin walking that path, Luke first had to deal with his own psychological issues. Almost two years of brutal bullying that was akin to torture and no support from the school staff of the police had left him with a broken soul. Before even realizing he could be rich or powerful, he had to bring himself out of the mental hellhole he found himself in.
Oh, and his memories also told him the Sentinel Tower would change reality in six months to protect the planet from the Demonic Horde.
But that wasn’t as important as not making the local bully angry, right?
A story about personal growth, overcoming obstacles, and reaching absolute glory at the end of the path.
This is a slow-paced, character-centered story.
If you want something faster paced, filled with almost immediate and nonstopping action, check out my other novel: Modern Awakening - A cultivation, LitRPG, apocalyptic novel.
Cover image: As the fire fades, only embers remain by TheFearMaster (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0)
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I would have rated this far lower, but i'm here to give feedback and not tank your rating.
The story has a lot of problems, to the point I dont care to write them all, but i want to point out one specific thing that i felt was the worst.
The MC is trash, and you went WAY too hard in making him seem pathetic with the bullying.
You went so hard, not only did it make it not believable he could even become the person you had just established, you permanently tainted the reader's respect for the MC. It comes off as childish wish fulfillment, not some sort of zero to hero. Not only that, but the hero to zero to hero trope is usually only used in the trashiest of Chinese and Japanese novels, which means you're telling the reader that's the quality you're going for.
Specifically, chapter 6 made me want to drop the novel. It was really, really stupid.
The writing is decent and coherent to a somewhat polished level aside from a few specific times where the author gets a bit wordy unnecessarily.
The concept for the Mc is flawed so fundamentally that it's a bit headscratching. This could easily be fixed with some rewriting in the earlier chapters and some tweaks throughout the rest.
There isn't much world building or character building so far. Mostly just musings about the mysterious memories that Mc doesn't understand but has a clear explanation for where they came from but spends a lot of time guessing about it which is... Annoying considering he's supposed to be intelligent.
Its all very rushed. I like the ideas there, it has potential but just so very rushed.
And honestly the author should delete chapter 1 or atleast try to think of a convincing way to explain how a person who lived in never ending war for 15k years would effectively decide to commit suicide after overcoming his personal hell to become the greatest pussy on earth. "being able to fit into society" is probably the worst reasoning there is for a fantasy novel.
Readers should come into this thinking of it as a rough draft.
Author should keep practicing and writing. Decent ideas but poorly executed.
So this story starts out slow and if people read a number of other reviews they will give you countless reasons why you shouldn't read it. However, it starts getting pulled together pretty well a few chapters after the unbelievable bullying parts and it makes sense why they are there. I will recommend people give it a chance because it's good. The only thing I would change is that RR doesn't let me make spelling recommendations like kindle does and that isn't your problem in the slightest. Keep up the good writing, it follows a good path, you aren't all over the place, and it flows which is nice to see. Thank you, I think you have done well and I look forward to reading the rest of it as you make it available
The story is about an MC who goes back in time, and there are hints about much bigger things at play. But after some 15 chapters, what we get is an MC who is being bullied in high school and some weird family dynamics between MC and the uber rich and mysterious female lead.
The characters are so one dimensional, the first "high-school/bullying" arc so boring, I don't know if it will ever get better.
LitRPG, weak-to-strong, regressor, system, bold
if you like those tags, you’ll like the story being told
the author’s still improving but the quality's okay
the plot makes sense but early chapters sort of lose their way
The style is past tense third person, with system messages
the blue box info is a clear as any blue box is
it’s densely packed with exposition on the hero’s thoughts
some novels skip over that, but this story has lots
The story starts off epic, then regresses to the past
In school the plot get's shaky, and it doesn't move too fast
he deals with bullies, meets a girl, and levels up in time
the bullying get's old*, it starts to feel more like a crime
The author's great for not being native English speaking
no mistakes have broke immersion, and it's improving
if anything, I’d trim the exposition down a bit
but it’s all written well enough that I’m okay with it
The characters are introduced in good time and good speed
supporting cast is fleshed out well, and so is the male lead
they might be cliche at times, but they are described well
they make sense within the tale the author strives to tell
In conclusion, this will please the lovers of this style
the memory loss trope makes more sense after a short while
the author is still polishing it up, but bear in mind
this is still as nice a read as many you can find
World building and overall writing quality is good. Very good. Side characters and heroine seem like people. MC is useless. I just can't see the wuss he was being able to survive 5 mins in the tower. Even in a safe zone he would have just been prey to about any other human there. His nature would have just kept him on the first level giving handys to anyone else there just to survive. His body was so abused from being poor that he would probably died before even the fattys if he did get the courage to try going to the next level.
I keep reading Even tho the mc is annoying because of the promise the rest of the novel shows.
The beginning is a bit hammy, but has nice worldbuilding. Then the frankly outlandish bullying starts. I'm willing to suspend some disbelief for the sake of story, so I powered through it into what looked like a training arc before the real conflict. Instead, we get a return to bullying with what can only be described as a cartoonishly evil adversary.
That could be passage, but the MC is also traumatised (given the circumstances, I can see why). This ends up expressing itself in complete passivity and willingness to cooperate with basically any amount of abuse. The synopsis doesn't speak of this, even though it is at the forefront of many of the character interactions in the story. I would say it is a core aspect of it.
If you can stretch your disbelief significantly further than I can, there might be something good here. The world building isn't terrible and it has a subverted system type deal, which is a nice twist.
Thousands of lives, thousand times of deadly wars, surviving against fate. But we are reading chapters about mc bullied in school. It is so insignificant that i feel like im watching a japanese school life anime that mc is secretly god. its cringey. writing about things that so great, complicated, important but... We are talking about Earth and Humanity's future and then chapters about mc getting beaten by some edgy children and gets away with it all the time.
Damn a girl suicided but zero consequences for bullies, these things are non-believable. Impossible level of bulliness.
Come on... why am i reading childish scenes? What is important about bullies getting faceslapped later? Whats different from copcat chinese wuxias? Nobles changed with rich-kids. Same thing. I get that author wants to picture a oppressed, shy, good guy. We know this recipe for years. You can do it with more reliable ways.
You don't need to get beaten everyday for being oppressed. It usually doesnt happen in that way. I did not empathize with mc, it is hard-try, it is just boring. yeah we know mc gonna kick bullies' asses, get over wth it!
Not recommended! There are thousands of this one in the site.
So, the premise of the story is really good. We start with our MC being bullied and I can stand that, what I can't stand is how the author portrays everything related to the bullying. Chapter 19 was just horrible, nothing made sense in it and then we have the policemen and well....I don't know anymore because I dropped it, it was waaaaaaay too forced of a situation , and Sakura's family being influential as they are are pretty worthless compared to some wannabe wuxia young lord.
The author mentioned showing others POV and I believe it would answer some questions, but even then, a lot of the interactions seems way too unrealistic. Why is Sakura helping him and his grandfather in the first place? Why the he'll did he confess something he didn't do?
And something that I didn't like is that the story doesn't feel like it's going anywhere, sure, he trains yet in every part of the story he suffers setbacks.
Overall, grammar is good, style also feels smooth but I couldn't stand the story or the characters.
I left a fairly harsh review earlier and the story didn't really warrant it.
I stand by my statements that the characters are one-dimensional and that the MC is spineless. However, note that the grammar is very good and I haven't read past the school arc. I had to quit there because this story wasn't my cup of tea. I'd encourage you to give it a try if the author's synopsis seems good to you. You might find it enjoyable.