The Accidental Pimp

The Accidental Pimp

by SmilingSatyr

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Quentin is a deeply depressed man, a hermit and anonymous celebrity who kills people to the sound of applause. Razia is a fast woman, perpetually on the run from the consequences of her actions. When a chance meeting brings the two of them together, life in Orchrisus becomes more bearable with someone to watch their backs. She gains a fierce protector and a reason to not burn bridges, he gains a companion and a reason to keep fighting. Soon, Quentin is dragged deep into an unfamiliar world of criminals, prostitutes, and weirdest of all: a social life.

Come for the spicy alternative to litRPG and Isekai stories, stay for the sex, violence, and high octane brooding. 

Updates on Fridays. And Tuesdays when I'm feeling spicy.

****************************************************************************

The Accidental Pimp is a character driven fantasy dramedy focusing on the lives of a gladiator and a prostitute. It's faster paced than slice of life but a bit slower than traditional serials. It features a slow burn romance, graphic violence, LGBT characters, some sexual situations, healthy polyamory (eventually) but NOT a harem, and a dumb title I can't find a replacement for.

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Author
SmilingSatyr

SmilingSatyr

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Table of Contents
80 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: The Executioner ago
Chapter 2: The Butcher ago
Chapter 3: Quentin Quintius ago
Chapter 4: The Escort ago
Chapter 5: Mean Streets ago
Chapter 6: The Battlemaster ago
Chapter 7: Bigger Fish ago
Chapter 8: The Hungry City ago
Chapter 9: Razia's Shadow ago
Chapter 10: The Silk Lounge ago
Chapter 11: Bounties ago
Chapter 12: The Savant ago
Chapter 13: The Damsel of Distress ago
Chapter 14: Naked and Afraid ago
Chapter 15: One Step Closer ago
Chapter 16: Home Sweet Home ago
Chapter 17: Slippery Women ago
Chapter 18: In Hot Water ago
Chapter 19: The Death of the Blooming Rose ago
Chapter 20: Mr. Cicero ago
Chapter 21: The Aggrieved Executioner ago
Chapter 22: Ladies of the Night ago
Chapter 23: The Accidental Pimp ago
Chapter 24: Bait and Switch ago
Chapter 25: Booze and Bitches ago
Chapter 26: Girls and Goons ago
Chapter 27: Philus And His Boys Get Into a Scrap ago
Chapter 28: Good Intentions ago
Chapter 29: Heart to Heart ago
Chapter 30: Connected ago
Chapter 31: The Unstoppable Mr. Q ago
Chapter 32: The Rules ago
Chapter 33: The Twilight Dancer ago
Chapter 34: Writ of Execution ago
Chapter 35: Mercy ago
Chapter 36: The Ties that Bind ago
Chapter 37: The Temple of the Pierced Heart (NSFW) ago
Chapter 38: Out of Time ago
Chapter 39: The Emperor of Sand ago
Chapter 40: Let The Games Begin ago
Chapter 41: The Maze ago
Chapter 42: End of an Era ago
Chapter 43: For the Boys ago
Chapter 44: Life Goes On ago
Chapter 45: Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong ago
Chapter 46: Fury ago
Chapter 47: Full House ago
Chapter 48: Warlords ago
Chapter 49: The Placeholder ago
Chapter 50: Home ago
Chapter 51: Neighbors ago
Chapter 52: Shadows of the Past ago
Chapter 53: A Bit of Girl Talk (NSFW) ago
Chapter 55: Opening Night Part 1 ago
Chapter 56: Opening Night Part 2 ago
Chapter 57: The New Girl ago
Chapter 58: The Object of My Affection ago
Chapter 59: Lucy's Problem ago
Chapter 60: One Big Happy Family ago
Chapter 61: Nothing Special ago
Chapter 62: Show Me Your Bitch face ago
Chapter 63: Time To Kill Again ago
Chapter 64: Spies Among Us ago
Chapter 65: Voice of Treason ago
Chapter 66: Losing Streak ago
Chapter 67: Home Invasion ago
Chapter 68: If You Want Blood ago
Chapter 69: Consequences ago
Chapter 70: Snoops ago
A Quick Update ago
Chapter 71: Regrets and Confessions ago
Chapter 72: Father and Son ago
Chapter 73: A New Contract ago
Chapter 74: Pit Dog Nostalgia ago
Chapter 75: Bare Knuckle Diplomacy ago
Chapter 76: Raise Your Cups ago
Chapter 77: Fear and Faith ago
Chapter 78: Take a Breath ago
Chapter 79: The Prickly Rose ago
Chapter 80: High Quality Bitches ago

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Reviews
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Crow3r
Overall

Blood, death and compassion

Reviewed at: One Step Closer

Reminds me of oldschool middle ages fantasy novels. No system, no gods, little bit of magic. Well writen and readable, some readers might dislike setting becouse it lacks modern elements. its gritty novel where pride and honor dictates actions of man. Refrshing and different MC , he is flawed man clinging to last of his humanity. No overpowerd murderhobos, White Knights on shining steads or Mary sues were spotted in this novel 

4.3/5.0 rating giving it 5 bc algo

Rhia_reader
Overall

Real people living real lives.

Reviewed at: Mr. Cicero

I really love the quality of this story. The characters are all so real and engaging. The situations, morality and struggles are all relatable, vivid and gritty in the best of ways.

Despite the main characters being an executioner and a whore there is no unrealistic vulgarity, gore or smut.

Just real people living real lives in a city full of predators and opportunists

ATCkit
Overall

Volume one is a Masterpiece Can't wait for Vol2

Reviewed at: For the Boys

I love this story and want more people to discover it, So i finally got around to writing this review. I'm truly disappointed that it never caught on but happy to say that I'm one of the first to find this hopefully soon to be not so hidden gem.  Here is why you should give it a shot:

The story is set in a fictitious version of a Greco-Roman controlled Egypt in a city called Orchrisus. It follows the life of Quentin an Albino man, moonkissed, they call him that is shunned by society, only being able to find work as the city's executioner in the colosseum. One day he happens to run into Razia a charismatic, Yet troublesome lady, she is working as an escort, to pay the bills, while practising her beliefs, and maybe she can have a little fun while she is at it.

You see Razia believes in Dolas, the Pierced Heart the god/ess of love and pain, art and suffering and wants to become a priestess of his/her church that is why she came to Orchrisus. True believers in Dolas (at least according to the church of the Pierced Heart) believe it's their duty to help alleviate people's suffering and create happiness in the world.

When Razia applied to become a priestess, she was denied because “she was too prideful”, in actuality it's because she disagrees with the church doctrine believing that because part of the personification of Dolas is (free) love that a prest/ess duties should also extend to the sexual needs of their parishioner.

She believes in and practices these beliefs and tries to elevate/rehabilitate a person's state of mind through emotionally/physically connecting to them. She finds out about their troubles in life and helps them work through them emotionally and if it also sexually helps them that way too. Whether the person is a senator or a disfigured man living in the slums she would do her best to try and let them vent their baggage on her for a while and achieve at least some momentary peace of mind.

This is how she got interested in Quentin; she saw someone she knew needed help, he was suffering, an outcast from the society he lived in, and he became a very lonely depressed individual. She offered him friendship but ended up giving him her Companionship and a community he could call his own.

Rizia introduces Quentin to her friend’s group who are also ostracised because of their jobs. He ends up hanging out with, and looking out for them, because of events they end up relying on him for protection. But because he has a ton of money from his job, the money that is paid for “Pimping” actually goes into a security fund and is used to help the girls ie. it's used to help pay off the debt of one of the prostitutes, Samantha, so she won't be sold into slavery.

While All this is happening, there are 3 intriguing subplots happening in the background that take turns injecting some action/drama into the story while the plot progresses for the other two(though there is enough energy even between these bursts to keep you engaged). The plots all come together at the end of vol 1 in a spectacular way.

I personally love this story, it has a lot of great and well-developed characters, and a tightly knit plot all wrapped up in less than 600pages.

I also love how this story shows how Sex work is real work and shows the troubles that people in the industry are exposed to ie. exploitation, assault, forced sex work, outright sex trafficking… it’s not fully accurate but does a good job showing some of the bad sides.

 

My favourite example of this in the story:

When Quentin killed a Gangsta that was trying to abduct Razia, the local guards ignore the testimonies of all the prostitutes saying they are "unreliable". They proceed to railroad Quentin directly into a death sentence without even going through the judicial system because he was moonkissed.

This kind of thing really rings home for me and reminds me of a lot of real world examples of how the judicial system fails sex workers and minorities ie. A man named Robert Pickton in 1997 attacked a sex worker at his farm. Even though her injuries were severe and well recorded, the prosecutors had dropped the case because she was a heroin addict, and they "felt she wouldn't be a convincing witness". Turns out he was a serial killer and has confest to killing a total of 49 women, he specifically targeted prostitutes, drug addicts, and native women so when they went missing the police wouldn't come looking.

The three subplots mentioned above are:

(note i have remove a lot of context and summarised a lot so i people can read this without to much being spoiled)

A) The manager of the coliseum, Amicus, whom Quentin works for hates him* but can’t fire him due to government oversight due to the nature of his work, so at the end of volume one he takes advantage of “circumstances (A.1)” to replace him.

*Quentin rigs the execution fights to make money for the families of his victims. Not everyone that is executed deserves death and some are even innocent.

 

A.1)Quentin is given the job of publicly executing a savant (mage) that was sent to assassinate the emperor. Amicus turns it into a "money making venture" an exhibition execution.

 

B) There are three gangsters trying to abduct Razai and take her to a mob boss she had pissed off. It ends with 1 of them dead and one of them and Quntin sent to be executed in the special exhibition execution (Quentin gets out on appeal using his connection to the city’s supreme arbiter Ohmar who he knows through work).

 

C)When one of the prostitutes, Maria, whom Quentin and Razia are friends with is charged with theft *. She is sent to be executed in a special exhibition fight/execution. Quentin and Rizia spend a lot of energy trying to get her out, unfortunately, they fail.

*She was LARPing her client's wife in her younger years and was given the wife's jewelry to use as props. When the wife walked in on this she pressured the husband to throw Maria under the bus.

 

Convergions point. The exhibition execution is rigged by Quentin’s boss to kill him. Ultimately Quentin wins but because he doesn’t kill Maria it allows Amicus to send Cervenka a sadistic gladiator in and kill Maria while announcing that he is the new executioner.

 

TickleMeStalin
Overall

I wasn't sure about the plot synopsis, did I want to read about broody fantasy pimps and prostitutes making *gasp* bad decisions? What convinced me to give it a try was the excellent reviews this has, and now I'm here to add to them. 

The characters are absolutely real and relatable, despite living in a gritty, low magic world where life is cheap and everyone is desperately poor.  I find myself rooting for a socially awkward brutal executioner with a soft spot for condemned criminals. I want his developing friendship with a prostitute that gets her thrills humiliating men who routinely kill for much less to work out. 

The action is believable.  No one here has op super powers, and no one gets away unscathed when knives are drawn. The hints of culture you get from the varied perspectives of city folk are compelling. 

The writing is great, and the plot and character development are the best part. 

Bastnerd
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Funny people in dark world

Reviewed at: Heart to Heart

I really like this story. I was drawn in on a fluke by the cheesy title and kept on reading for the crapsack world an character development.

story:

Its about an albino gladiator that has the job of executing criminals. Executing means sometimes just that, sometimes a fight to the death he had always won so far. But he is really depressed and only happy very shortly when fighting and any other time feeling guilty. He meets a lustrous and funky whore by chance and their fates become intertwined.

The world is a crapsack world with cutthroat mafia bosses everywhere and bad entitlted nobles, just how you would imagine it back than basically. There has been no signs of industrialisation so far but there seems to be some weak personal magic that hasnt had a big impact on the story so far. Its not grimdark though, there are a lot of decent people who try to be somewhat good. 

 

Style and character: I like the style. The brooding of the main character and the cheerfull carlessness of the secondary main character can become a bit annoying at times but in the last recent chapters they both seem to get a bit more depth. Both of them have good reasons for being the way they are though, though the motivations of the secondary main charater (the whore) are not entirely clear yet. It often seems as if she isnt so sure herself and I think the author has a lot more in common with the male protagonist than the female and might need to do a little research on why sex workers do sex work back then and now and how they came to their job and what kind of humans they think exist most in the world or just do a little less self insert so the two main charactes feel like the same kind of depth. 

The side characters seem mostly fine, I sometimes get the feeling that the author wanted to put more in there but stopped because it would have interfered with his planned storyline. For example there is one character that really seems like he would be a gay concubine and it would totaly make sense for him to be given the whole rome-gladiator theme but just isnt. Instead he ist just kind of awkardly cared for like a lover but just is not. Another character seems to really hate the protagonist but despite having almost every possibility to harm him he just doesnt until the story starts. There are supposed reasons like him wanting to make more money but it just doenst really fan out how that would change after 10 years of milking a golden cow. In short there seem to be many background motviation of the side characters but they are oblivious to the main character and therefore for the reader too which makes one just think maybe there is something or the author just forgot. 

 

Grammar: I have reasonable grasp on grammar sorry. Seems pretty good to me. 

 

 

All in all I recommend this story. I think its great and fun to read and am looking forward how it develops. I hope the author has an idea of how it will go on and not stick in the crapsack mafia-world all the time and go more to the worldbuilding and light-fantasy part in time because there seems to be a wanted character development endpoint and im not sure how it will go from there on. But Im positive that there are ideas, as the world seems pretty dense with lore and problems and situations and escalations of stakes to go through. :)

Shuuraghs
Overall

One of the best stories on RR imho.

It's not Inception or The Green Mile but a decent block buster.

Great character depth, a lot of grey instead of black & white, great suspense but also a few relaxing chapters.

Razia and Quentin went out for dinner and dancing. There were no survivors. 

 

LlamaLlumps
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Dude!

 

Thats it, that's my review.

I mean, they still want fifty words or more, so I gotta prattle on, but if you are reading my drivel, you could be reading this story instead and actually getting something of value. Still no fifty words. I guess I could wax poetic about how this world seems to be familiar, while seeming new and exciting. Or how the action jumps off and brings my feels along for the ride.

Legit, this should be in publication. 

 

Update, I all but caught up now and my prior review, it holds up. I can't write anthing about this that you won't look back on and say, "that dude barely got it".

We have a female lead the is unconventionaly strong, sweet and vulnerable. Maybe a little self destructive

Male lead, he is uniqie, and has quiet depths. I like the way things unfold around him while he remains in control of himself. a nice duality of passivity and agency at once.

we have  a cast of others that stroll on and off, becoming more familiar and important with each appearance.

I am not goint to tell you about them because if you rea reading this ou are still not reading THAT! go read that over there!

 

Just stop reading my stupid plaver and get on to the good stuff. You know you want it.

Go on.

It's right there.