The Twins of the Aletere - Shadow of the Eclipse

The Twins of the Aletere - Shadow of the Eclipse

by JMMatheis

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

This is the story of Groyven and Tiffaniel Desilantre, orphaned twins and marked with the elemental powers of the Demon’s Thread.

It is the first entry into the record of the Foxsyn Arcanum of their trial-by-fire.  Lost and without hope in a world not their own.


The story as it stands:

Finding the path and mending the wounds of grief is a tumultuous undertaking for the twins Desilantre after the loss of their parents a year earlier. In the midst of battle, a fateful event tears them from the elven warship, the Lychen’s Fiddle and the broken remnants of their family. Hurting and afraid, they find themselves lost and alone in the wilderness with no discernible way home. Cooperation is key should they survive in these uncharted lands, yet the ancient plague of sibling rivalry constantly threatens to tear them apart. 


This story has a lot of character development and world building as it follows the twin siblings fight for survival in a world similar, yet different from their own. Both worlds of magic, fantasy and savagery. It is paced like a novel and does not follow an episodic structure. It is also reasonably dialogue heavy, to explore the relationships between characters and drive the narrative. It is an origin tale. 


Currently I will be posting on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. With a goal of posting approximately 6000 words a week.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I like writing it.

I will be starting the editing process in November to work out any kinks!

I have selected all the content warnings, as there is some minor swearing and there could be some questionable and sexually charged scenes. When things get rough later on there will be blood. Though, quite tame by most standards, and none for the sake of gratuitous content.

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JMMatheis

JMMatheis

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eric_river
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The Twins of the Aletere's Song

Reviewed at: Chapter 22 - Morning

I rate this highly for the passion flowing through its veins
its attention to detail and structure never wanes
it burns slowly, leaving lots of time for characters
they will grow on you long before their big adventures

The style is densely packed with dialogue and fine detail
the narration is fluent and depicts a vivid tale
scenes are built with loving care, and everything is clear
and you’ll be well accustomed when the action does appear

The story is a slowburn, so if that’s your thing then great
things progress a little slow but it is worth the wait
where the plot's at now, it's getting juicy and heavy
it's like a feast on thanksgiving with delicious gravy!

The world is growing outward from the interacting cast
a history of of magic is expanding very fast
it’s simply interesting if you like your share of lore
if you are, then that’s what you’ll enjoy this story for

The language used is great, and there’s appropriate jargon
the author’s done the research to describe the quest they’re on
every word and term is used deliberately too
authors that invest the time to go that far are few

The characters are mysteries that deepen over time
to spoil the way they grow for you right now would be a crime
all I’ll say is they’re worth following as they evolve
they’re just part of all the mysteries you’ll want to solve

Overall, this tale is worth your time so check it out
just know it’s a literary work, there is no doubt
it’s not light, but if it clicks with you, you’ll love this book
if you like dense fantasy then this is worth a look

DrBuller
Overall

Slow in the way that the turtle would win the race ten times over. Take that comment as you want.

Anyway. The story is pretty damn good. While, again, there might be some level of slow pacing to it, I think that's more an after-effect of the amount of information packed into the story. Not that this equals constant info-packs. Somehow. Still not sure how the author succeeded in that.

Characters are nice enough, Grammar is without obvious errors, and it's an overall good story. 4.5/5 from me.