What was the purpose of living anymore?
These were my final thoughts before I had taken my own life, the next time I had regained consciousness I had heard a strange, booming voice.
[Another one which lacks respect to the life that they have been given.]
[Through hardship, you shall learn true respect for your life.]
[Eliminating all riskful memories, creating new universe.]
[Now you shall be placed in the most extreme possible set of conditions, struggle to live, and learn respect of your life.]
These words were ringing through my mind as I reawakened, as a small lizard-like creature. In a dungeon with powerful monsters, where strength is the only absolute.
I will survive, no matter what!
- Overall Score
- Style Score
- Story Score
- Grammar Score
- Character Score
- Total Views :
- Average Views :
- Followers :
- Favorites :
- Ratings :
- Pages :
Leave a review
Listen, I get there some potential with this. The story is interesting, the pacing is good enough, grammar is... decent, but everything else really needs a touchup. Personality and style need to be worked on in some way or another. I just can't get into it as much as I am likely meant to. One thing that really bothers me is the way that the system is set up. Avoiding the tables is completely fine and all, yet I just can't get over this one point. Copying in an example here:
Shouldn't the [ ] cover all of it? Or is the things below more just things that the MC knows or do they, like, get the information sent through into their mind?
Rant over. 4/5
Dude so this is like "So I am a spider so what right." right ? It's still cool and I like it and will follow, just interested. Anyway feedback is try to break up the action in an interesting place with new paragraphs I think. Really good thanks for the story.