Reborn as a Drake: A quest to become the strongest dragon.

Reborn as a Drake: A quest to become the strongest dragon.

by LuaSucks

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

What was the purpose of living anymore?
These were my final thoughts before I had taken my own life, the next time I had regained consciousness I had heard a strange, booming voice.

[Another one which lacks respect to the life that they have been given.]

[Through hardship, you shall learn true respect for your life.]

[Eliminating all riskful memories, creating new universe.]

[Now you shall be placed in the most extreme possible set of conditions, struggle to live, and learn respect of your life.]

These words were ringing through my mind as I reawakened, as a small lizard-like creature. In a dungeon with powerful monsters, where strength is the only absolute.

I will survive, no matter what!

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LuaSucks

LuaSucks

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DrBuller
Overall

Listen, I get there some potential with this. The story is interesting, the pacing is good enough, grammar is... decent, but everything else really needs a touchup. Personality and style need to be worked on in some way or another. I just can't get into it as much as I am likely meant to. One thing that really bothers me is the way that the system is set up. Avoiding the tables is completely fine and all, yet I just can't get over this one point. Copying in an example here:

[Monstrous bat]

Species: Bat.

Status: normal.

Stage: adult.

Sex: Male.

Shouldn't the [ ] cover all of it? Or is the things below more just things that the MC knows or do they, like, get the information sent through into their mind?

Rant over. 4/5

Zduhi
Overall

Dude so this is like "So I am a spider so what right." right ? It's still cool and I like it and will follow, just interested. Anyway feedback is try to break up the action in an interesting place with new paragraphs I think. Really good thanks for the story.