Car . . . Ice . . . Corner . . . Do not mix. But never mind! Here I am - alive somehow and somewhere different? There's an orange glow and I can't control my body much . . . Wow I'm tired . . . it's time to sleep again . . .
Join our lead getting used to their new world from the womb and their new life with stats, levels and magic. What would you do if you were given a second chance at life?
Very slow burn, Slice of life, Levels, Skills and Stats
Warning I : Will be in the womb till Chapter 14 but small 1000 word chapters so only around 15,000 words before birth.
Warning II : Slow pace and world building learning from a child's perspective about the world, they are not told about everything instantly. They grow they learn at their own pace.
Larger Synopsis for the larger world.
Follow our lead as they explore the world of the Compass Kingdoms, who battle and war on the main continent. The story will be about levelling up their friends and families lives as much as themselves. The challenges they will all face in trying to build a better future against the powers that would like things to stay the same or take advantages of the changes.
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For this most part, this story is alright. Isekai'd into a womb, gestated for however long, born, and so on and so forth. That isn't where the plausibilitiy issues come into play, because willing suspence of disbelief can cover all of that. Plausibility is an issue a little bit later, though.
There's a little bit too much white space in the actual writing style. Not every thought deserves a new paragraph, and having a series of very short (<10 word) paragraphs in succession just doesn't really read all that well. But, this could be a somewhat harsh rating as there hasn't been any dialogue yet, and writing without any interactions between characters can be very difficult. The internal monologue could be clearer, but it isn't a massive issue.
There's nothing wrong with the grammar, as far as I have read. Perfectly servicable, if nothing astounding.
This is, I think, where the bulk of the issues are.
Most of the issues I have with plausibility are that the Main Character is only a baby on the surface level. Most of the problems with being in a baby's body are just... absent. Even if you isekai hand-wave away the endless problems stemming from a baby's brain being tiny and entirely incapable of sustaining adult-level consciousness in the womb or infancy, there are still physiological problems.
Babies start crawling at 8-ish months because they don't have a developed enough nervous system to properly control their limbs much before that point, but the MC manages within 2 months. 5 months I could accept at a stretch, maybe, because magic isekai, but 2 months is entirely too early. Crawling away and smashing ants during the same season that you were born is just straight up impossible, regardless of how developed your brain is. The MC already spent months sitting motionless, it's hardly going to detract from the story if you let him continue doing so for a little while longer.
From birth, the MC hums along with his mother's lullabies. They seem perfectly fine with it and don't really care, despite already having had a child and having a support network to ask "hey, is it normal that my child is immediately recognising and mimicking music?". Regardless of whether a world is medieval, industrial, modern, or space age, people have a general idea of how quickly children develop, and entirely ignoring your child doing something that has never been done before, ever, is the kind of lunacy that comes from bad writing.
And that isn't even touching on the MC gaining skills for echolocation and swimming, of all things, while still in the womb.
We haven't really seen much of any of the characters other than the MC, and even then it's been in a very, very limited circumstance. This could go either way, but 5 stars as a courtesy seems about right.
I can understand wanting an MC that is powerful and has some agency, but it has to be within plausible limits. Having your MC learn to talk very quickly because they're miles ahead of the average toddler mentally? Great. Expected. Having your MC physically develop much, much faster than normal with absolutely no explanation other than impatience is less so.
Writing an isekai literally from the womb onwards probably isn't the best storyline to get impatient and insert character agency into. Realistically, the MC shouldn't really have any agency until early to late childhood, and even then most parents will be very careful to make sure their child hasn't run off and joined a gang.
Be a little bit more patient, start the story with an older MC, or have time jumps. Rather than a chapter as a 2-month old infant, skip to 2 years and have a paragraph of infodump, then let the MC move around. Just don't entirely ignore human physiology.
This is genuinely a lovely concept to start a story with, just... tone it down a tad? Babies are babies for more reasons than just being about as dumb as a pomeranian, and being smarter than a pomeranian doesn't magic away those reasons.
I want to like it, I really do it's well written it's just as the MC is about to do anything he's suddenly crippled by rules and responsibilities or actually crippled.
We get some nice caves for him to explore and then suddenly interference can't do that now more pressing concerns, and then it never goes back to that.
So many interesting opportunities and it's always the most boringly realistic option.
Any sense of adventure is mercilessly crushed. This book had great opportunities and frankly has squandered it.
A good story with an interesting premise. The idea of reincarnation stories is nothing new. Recently, however, there seems to have a been quite a few that start the story off with the MC as a baby, or even in the womb. While I can not be sure this is the first of its kind, it is the first that I encountered, making it all the more interesting. Nothing special about the whole Child Prodigy schtik, nice to read if you are into that instant gratificaton and seeing the MC be set up to be overpoweringly strong. Aside from a few problems I have with the rest of the cast, so far so good. Though there is one major problem that makes this book unreadable for me. The MC's internal dialogue and the giant blocks of filler text that say nothing. There are maybe a few meaningful sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, followed by a landslide of what feels like just the MC explaining his every thought. Really, it is just so much more work for the author to write, and for the reader to sift through, just let the story happen. Not a bad book, just needs some heavy editing and a little work making the characters feel less stiff.
You cant make a baby an archmage at less then 5. And then expect people to enjoy the story.
just a slice of life at that point. + wish fullfilment. While i enjoyed the story so far. Taking a step back and reflecting on where this is going made me drop it.
Still too early to really tell were this is going but I like the womb training montage I have read so far.
It deals not only with the MC groing stronger but also some of the potentially detrimental effects such a long period of quasi isolation might have on someone. While still staying rather lighthearted.
While the start focused more on stats and the MC's own stabilitiy and ideas, it seems like hes just strolling along not trying specifically to focus on any goal making it a slog as well as slow burn. While being a jack of all trades is fine the pace is both jumping around and so slow it takes much of the enjoyment out of it with no clear goal in his journey.
It has been almost 700 pages of story and the main character is still unreasonably young.
The MC is around 3 years old using our calender and like just above 2 years old using the other worlds calender system.
This is still a good story with juicy stats and worldbuilding, but the pace is excruciating slow. The pace has been slowly getting better with time skips or journel entry like time keeping that summerize months now.
I am just waiting for the giant time skip that the story is hopefully buidling up to.
It's hard to pin down exactly what's so frustrating about this story. The grammar is a little hit or miss, and the occasional typo always slips through. The writing style always needs an editing pass. there's just so many sentences that just keep going and please stop and take a breath already. The pacing is slow, and the few attempts at time skips just made the glacial pace that much more frustrating when it resumed a chapter later.
It's so close to being an interesting progression fantasy, but there's no "one thing" to fix that would make it good on it's own.
I've tried to see if there anything beyond level making, but so far there is none of that. No wordbuilding, no characters, no events.
MC is OP before he even born, and continue to develop at insane speed, without any restraints, limitations or handicaps in sight.
MC compeltly defying common sense and logic of physical AND mental development at once without so much as a handwave. Not "a stats did that", just a bit of efforts and you can ignore undeveloped neurons, nerve connections, muscles and so on.
Also, being alone in confinement for several months is a good way to develop skill, instead ofmental illness.
2 stars for grammar and style only.
If you check my reviews then you see then i rarly give out 5 stars.
To me 5 stars is a masterpiece.
A story that can not be improved.
2.5 stars is the avarage story on RR.
Here i come to current conclusion of 3 stars. Slightly abouve avarage but with room for improvement.
2 Stars for the early chapters up to chapter 50isch, and 4 stars for the later chapters.
I just wrote that there is room for improvement.
That goes double for the early chapters.
That the Author points out the first 15 chapter are kind of a chore is OK.
There is time to redo them later on.
What comes after however is not better.
World building is only in the later chapters realy.
Until then we see our MC become more and more OP.
The Abysial slow pacing makes that even worse.
It became a point where i even wanted to quit the story with a 2 star review.
But i preserved and thank god i did.
The later chapters got a lot of well placed time skips that makes everything better.
One can have slice of life without pointing out every day.
Time skips is whats missing in the early chapters and the reason for disbelieve.
The following contains spoilers (Some major) and tips for system and the MC:
While not everything is a spoiler, its a mix of both and i have no way to seperate them withour making it into many small spoilers.
ITs not the problem that the MC got all the traits.
Its a problem that his growth is so fast.
Days instat of Month.
I would set the 1st year limit to 2 years.
The 5 and 10 year limit can stay.
With this you can progress the MC over 2 years instat of 2 month.
I know that his death then plays a role but faking it didnt mater anyway.
Maybe make it that he insists on the title beeing for the entire family.
He is then still trown off the cliff but survives just like your told.
Instat of hiding it they hide the entire assasination and only confront the merchant.
Perhaps confronting the merchant before he left as the assasin clearly tought he could not only kill our MC but the rest of the people there as well.
You know "no witnesses" and all that.
It would allow the entire "hiding and new name" nonsense that seemed to have not impact on the story beside said new name and that his sister is now a noble too.
The rest could stay as it is.
Personally i think that would make the story a lot better.
But PM me if you want to discus this.
Next up his behaivior and the fact that the Parents never question it.
The Grandfather does later and seemed to have known for a long time
that however doesnt make it better.
Parents know how children act if they already had a child.
That they dont even question him is questionable at best.
I mean how would you react if your 2 month old would talk to you as if he is an adult?
You freak out.
Now stats can make a lot happen so at least the family should have guessed that he has a high mind stat fromt he way he acts.
That they didnt is a negative part of the early story.
while the lack of worldbuilding early left its mark, the worldbuilding that is done, is really really good.
I love the world you created and cant wait to explore it and that brings me to the last and again negative point
Lastly the slow pacing:
You warned ahead and that is ok but the current pacing too slow even for a slow paced slice of life.
If this keeps up it will be chapter 500 before he is 20 and starts exploring the world.
Its ok to go day by day in pure slice of life, but only if that forwards the story.
Here is MC cant do that thanks to his age and thats why it is paramount to do bigger time skips with day to day in between.
like some new sailying, some learning skills some new guests etc and then a skip for a few month of even a year to progress the story.
We dont need to know in detail how he fished the same lake day after day.
Mention it and focus on the more importand bits that are happening.
Now to qualify for the advanced review:
It overall reads well.
The little Quots at the top are a masterfull adition in the way you combine them into the chapters.
Here its both great and terrible.
As mentioned abouve its better now but still needs some bigger time skips.
The Overviews of what happend over server month is good.
Maybe do a couple for a few years.
Rather then skipping over his early childhood you can skip over the process of reaching it.
Like going for 2 years to 5 years in short order then staying there for a good ammount of time with shorter time skipps up to say age 7 then jump to 12 as purperty hits.
(the mind may be good but the body will still react)
The same here then jump to 16 or 17.
Plenty of slow progress without making it feel like a slog.
On that note i would recomenind to compressing the first 15 chapters into 2 or 3 longer chapters with time skips.
To much of the same going on there that was absolutly a slog to read.
The same for chapter 15 to 30.
Its mostly the same happening with some good slice of life in between.
I havent found any obvious mistakes but im a legasthenic and im non english native.
So my grammer and spelling sucks anyway.
In short, unless they are obvious, i wont see them.
Again i would love to rate it 5 stars, 2 stars and 3,5 stars at the same time.
I like the main character, he has character for lack of words.
He has personality and a lot of it too.
The rest of the cast less so.
We get some rare moments where we glimps at their personality but its mostly feels like interaction just for the MC.
Again its better in the later chapters where we read about other characters interacting with each other but other then that its pretty blank.
Thats where the other PoVs come in.
I love them.
They are like water in the desert.
Now only bring they much needed world building but also we see the world differently for once.
However sadly they are rare.
Very rare and aside from the very show father recap and what is currently on pantreon, there is nearly non to have.
I recomend to do more of them but remind yourself that every singel character has goals they want to archive.
Dreams they might have had or still have.
Resons why they are following the dreams or no longer do.
What is their birthday? (we only got to see MCs birthday?)
Whats their favorit food?
Did they have a childhood trauma?
What kind of abilitys do they have?
Are they married?
Do they have lovers?
Do they have kids?
The List keeps going.
A list for each side and main character helps with this.
That will allow you not only to build complex character but recall them later if they make an apearence early, disapear for a while and come back later.
In these cases you have to ask what they did and if that something impacted the way they act now.
I hope this did not come overly negative.
I like your story a lot, there is massive pontential and i support you on pantreon for that reason.
If you the Author wants to clarify something then PM me.
With high regards.
The disbelieve comes from the power that the MC gets in the early chatpers.
putting in another PoV that explains that while the MC is special he is not the god among men we are made believe at that point would make it a lot better.
For example add a section of some of the Father stats into his PoV.
"Yah sure Mc has 100 of a stat early but daddy got 300 in another."
Something of that kind.