Warlock's Gate [DROPPED]

Warlock's Gate [DROPPED]

by ShroudWolfe

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

In the empire of Orinthian, Fallon Gaumond, a young Warlock, is determined to be free from her father’s controlling demands and become a Sentinel. At her side, cloaked in shadows, is her Dementher familiar, Asmodeus, who is equally committed to seeing the Warlock grow to reach her full potential. But dealing with her overly hungry companion while keeping her secret, illegal visits to Highguard’s city dungeon hidden is the least of Fallon’s problems. As a Praeditus, she is expected to serve alongside her father and the rest of Highguard’s Praefecti to resolve the growing problem of refugees fleeing an adversary even the strongest Sentinel dare not face alone. The Gates which strike Orinthian with ever-growing frequency and pour upon these war-hardened cities merciless invading hordes of monsters from other dimensions who seek to pillage, burn, and slaughter everything that stands in their way.

Please Note this is my first attempt at a litRPG. I also ask that you keep an open mind as I will be diverging, in my own way, from many of the litRPG stories I have read. For those of you who missed it, this is a Multiple Lead Characters story, hence the tag. I should also mention that this will get crunchy as far as numbers go and please pay attention to the Profanity tag.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 101,444
  • Average Views :
  • 3,623
  • Followers :
  • 926
  • Favorites :
  • 188
  • Ratings :
  • 312
  • Pages :
  • 301
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
ShroudWolfe

ShroudWolfe

Achievements
100,000 Views
1st Anniversary
200 Comments
Word Count (8)
1,500 Followers
Top List #200
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Vintearis
Overall

Crunchy goodness that one hopes never ends

Reviewed at: Chapter 8: A Wise Old Nut

Some stories start off badly and with time become better especially if it's authors first story. This is how majority works. Then there is this magical minority that like with explosions in Michael Bay movies story starts strongly and becomes even better. This is one of such stories.

 

I have nothing to comment on the rest since it's perfect from my perspective till now. Right pacing, shadowing of very deep worldbuilding, characters with unique personalities, interesting relationship  between Mc and her demo... I mean Dementher :p. 

TeraSv
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

In my opinion the story is very well crafted.  A slow character driven story with a good bit of mystery both about the world and the diferent characters.

Style: very crunchy. More crunchy than I would have expected myself to like. But it stays a fluent read and reinforces a lot of the aspects of that world. 

Especially the incredible importance of rank in society.

Further more the style works well with the many mysterious aspects of the novel. There is not much exposition and we are figuring many things out the characters already know while the story is progressing. With many questions about the world and character relationships that we have to pick up based on hints along the way.

The gramar is not increadible but good. Most important is that nothing throws me out of the story.

The story is character dirven. While not grimdark most characters have their own motivations and intrests working to further their goals or just to protect those close to them.

We are left with many questions and hints about diferent characters goals and relationships between characters. The politics seem complicated and far beyond the horizon of where the story is curently at.

The characters are the strong suit of this novel. Most feel 3 dimensional and there are already 10 or so charactes into whom we have some insights. The MC is interesting and sympathetic, the relationships with other important caracters are interesting or just enjoyable.

Kman890
Overall

This is already one of my favorite stories on Royal Road. 

Pros: The main lead, Fallon, and her less common warlock class. I'm looking forward to learning more about her class, it's magic and the demon familiar, and how it ties into the wider world.  The politics in and around her family as well play a big part in this story and this author does a great job with political intrigue.

Cons: as others have pointed out the combat stats can be difficult to follow and are text heavy. I have found myself skimming over them. the other leads are, at this point, less interesting than Fallon.

Traitorman (JM Clarke)
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Well this was a nice find.

This is a crunchy litRPG with characters that I liked, and it's offering a bit of intrigue too which is a nice change of pace. I went into this thinking it was going to be a nice battle junkie litRPG, but as it goes on, more intrigue has been introduced.

Style
The style is good, with it being nice and smooth to read. There's meat to the prose but it doesn't distract me from the story itself. The only issue I got is that the screens are a bit obtrusive for me. That's because I tend to read lighter litRPGs so that's a personal preference.

Characters
The characters are fun. I don't really focus on Fallon, the main character, as a singular entity because she and her dementher—Asmodeus—bounce off each other so well. The banter really sells it for me, and turns what might have been a drab solo adventure into a fun one as we contend with monsters and intrigue.

Story
It feels early, but the story is really getting going with its intrigue and awesome worldbuilding. It really makes the system not feel bolted on, but really PART of the world.

Grammar
Grammar is great, I noticed no issues.

Cheers, I look forward to more Warlock's Gate!

Varatesh
Overall

It gets boggled down with damage log descriptions like an isometric rpg making fight scenes a pain. The main character has power and mobility but chooses to be a punching bag for her father. The lack of agency from protagonist is unfortunate. That said the writing is of good quality despite the flaws i pointed out. Dropped at chapter 9 and peeks into later chapters to see if things improve. 

Inslayer
Overall

Toxicity, criticism and the novel

Reviewed at: Author Note: Dropped

Okay, first review deleted because it wasn't discussing the novel. This will be a remedy to that.

Now for the review, 

I really liked the idea behind this story, the way it was written, the system and the progression. I liked the characters, the combat, the small details.

And it's because of all those things I'm sad to see it go, but also dissapointed.

It was well written, had multiple PoV's for those who like them (though how well done it was is arguable, considering a lot of the hate was for that part, for my part I enjoyed reading the story).

The system was unique and a fresh take on the Gamelit genre as far as I know. There was, however, something to be said about the representation of health, something which I hadn't really considered before the discussion that ended it all.

Now, was the novel good? Yes.

Could the author do better? No one is perfect, but it was a wild ride to say the least. 

Goodbye. 

Luciaron
Overall

You should read this story if you like Litrpgs and good writing. The system is intriguing and shows depth from the get-go. The characters are are fun, fit in the story, and provide room for growth that I am looking forward to. The world bulding is some of my favorite of any story that's started in years. It all comes together to form a foundation that I believe can make Warlock's Gate one of the great long lasting Litrpgs like those at the top of Popular this week.

There are 2 main complaints in the comment section that I'd like to address becasue I believe they're overblown.

Combat damage is provided in log form similar to a combat log from WoW. Some people see it as too much and I personally end up only skimming it, but that is hardly a reason to not read the story.

There are multiple POVs. If this is something you absolutely can't stand I would suggest reading this on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. It would be a shame to miss out on a great story just because of the nature of online releases. 

If anything, the writing quality alone makes Warlock's Gate an enjoyable read so give it a shot!

   

FoolRegnant
Overall

A solid foundation, but it's starting to crack

Reviewed at: Author Note: Dropped

The basic premise is compelling, the political drama is interesting, the world feels unique and developed without tons of exposition.

But... there are so many characters and the story is just beginning. There have been at least five different POVs, and the most interesting character and story - the main character - is getting left behind by the POV switches.

There's a compelling story with a young woman who has been kept from her potential due to her ability to sense the truth, and the mystery of why her father is dead set on keeping her weak - is he just an abuser, or does he have a reason? She has an interesting and developed character - impulsive but also moral, untested but desperate to fight. Her story has been riveting.

Then we go to the other POV characters. Some of them are one-shot chapters which help build the world and give a better idea of what's going on, but two characters are getting multiple. The first, a relatively poor man trying to save up to heal his disabled sister, gives a great introduction to the poorer side of the society, but his story and his struggle get resolved quickly while shuffling him along to presumably remain/ become a main character. The other does not have the saving graces of the first. We do not need to be introduced to a whiny rich guy who wants to go get stronger by being pampered by his powerful aunt, only to then learn that, no, instead he'll be leading a group of seven new characters, all of which are named and given backstories. It's too much.

I think at least thirty named characters have appeared so far, and we're only twenty chapters in. It's overwhelming and feels unnecessary - this story could be carried by the main character, it doesn't need an ensemble cast.

 

Edit:

After the author dropped the stroy, I decided to come back to this review to clarify a few things. First, I hope my review was not taken to be "toxic" or drive the author away - it was meant as honest criticism.

The refrain in many other reviews seems to be that just because the tags includes multiple lead characters, that excuses the way the writing style introduced those lead characters and included them in the overall story.

I do think many of the chapters from just before the drop were quite good, but my original complaint, which could be better worded, is that I think the description needed to include more about the other characters which are main viewpoint characters, because you can't just say, oh, read the tags when the description of a story is all about one character. Tags are great when searching for a story or quickly skimming to make sure there isn't a tag you can't stand reading, but not for supplementing a description.

There are countless stories with inaccurate tags, and the description should tell you the general structure and plot, and if your description is hugely focused on a single main character, then a new reader can reasonably expect that a multiple lead tag might be for a strong ensemble cast where the main character in the description is the focus of the story, and maybe it could have gotten there eventually, but there were too many POV shifts too quickly for my liking, especially with such a strong adn compelling main character/plotline.

Meanderingmarmot0
Overall

It's too bad that this book was dropped by the author, though I can see why, I probably would have done the same. Although I do have to point out to the author that toxic and entitled individuals are everywhere and a big part of life is figuring out how to deal with that. I'm sure you know that, but it had to be said.

Some people seem to think it's easy to write a book, it is not. Especially at the level this book was shaping up to be. The sheer amount of physical, mental and emotional investment needed to create a world and fill it (believably) with everything it needs (lore/history, ecology, society etc.), and then tying in the main plot arc, the necessary minor arcs, fleshing out the MC and all the supporting characters, dialogue (both internal and external), current events and foreshadowing, etc. Etc. Etc Its mind bogglingly insanely hard work.

To the people: The next time you feel like taking a dump on someone's book, at least make it a constructive dump. I.e. WHY are you taking said dump on the book, HOW can what you are dumping on be better etc. Realize that the author is not obligated to listen to your opinion on how THIER book should be, and if it doesn't change to your liking realize that no one is holding a deadly weapon to your person forcing you to continue reading. (If that is indeed the case blink twice for help we'll pray for your soul.)  An author craves constructive criticism and feedback. "Lol this book/author/plot device/character sucks! 1 star" etc. isn't constructive unless you point out WHY.

TelRob
Overall

So far so good. The writing is awesome and most everything i like.

Author messaged me and put a lot of the doubts I had at rest regarding the litrpg aspect so for anyone else who also had some issues with the numbers you can rest easy, the author has a plan.