Warlock's Gate [DROPPED]

Warlock's Gate [DROPPED]

by ShroudWolfe

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

In the empire of Orinthian, Fallon Gaumond, a young Warlock, is determined to be free from her father’s controlling demands and become a Sentinel. At her side, cloaked in shadows, is her Dementher familiar, Asmodeus, who is equally committed to seeing the Warlock grow to reach her full potential. But dealing with her overly hungry companion while keeping her secret, illegal visits to Highguard’s city dungeon hidden is the least of Fallon’s problems. As a Praeditus, she is expected to serve alongside her father and the rest of Highguard’s Praefecti to resolve the growing problem of refugees fleeing an adversary even the strongest Sentinel dare not face alone. The Gates which strike Orinthian with ever-growing frequency and pour upon these war-hardened cities merciless invading hordes of monsters from other dimensions who seek to pillage, burn, and slaughter everything that stands in their way.

Please Note this is my first attempt at a litRPG. I also ask that you keep an open mind as I will be diverging, in my own way, from many of the litRPG stories I have read. For those of you who missed it, this is a Multiple Lead Characters story, hence the tag. I should also mention that this will get crunchy as far as numbers go and please pay attention to the Profanity tag.

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  • Pages :
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ShroudWolfe

ShroudWolfe

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Nameless32
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Warlock's Gate is a rare breed of story on RR, mixing elements of dark fantasy, progression, and political intrigue into a cohesive and gripping whole. And let me tell you, the author doesn't say the litRPG is crunchy for no reason! 

If you're the type that loves reading all those beautiful blue boxes in litRPG, you're going to have a blast with this one. All the fights are caked in a heavy drizzle of punchy stat screens, which are expertly placed so as to maximize their impact to the scene. Thus, while the litRPG is certainly heavy in scenes where it's needed, it's not needlessly padding out wordcount in the more character-focused scenes.

Speaking of, the characters are perhaps this story's greatest strength. The author expertly weaves character voice into the dialogue so that every new face feels distinct, and especially regarding the MC, you can tell each character choice was carefully thought out and in line with both rationality and (sometimes irrational) motivation. You aren't getting a robot, but you are getting a cunning warlock who isn't afraid of stealing kills and playing social situations to her advantage.

The MC's narrative voice is majorly enhanced by the sheer quality of prose, which imo is in the upper echelon of what you'll see on RR. It's more descriptive and vivid than almost anything else you'll see on this site.

Oh, and grammar's pristine.

All in all, if you enjoy crunchy litrpg and the grittier side of progression, definitely give this one a try! I can guarantee you'll see it climbing trending in a few weeks.

Zephron
Overall

Long time lurker dropping this review since comments are locked on the announcent. 

Just wanted to put my two cents in that this story was a unique take on a overpopulating genre.

A slow burn with compelling characters interesting systems and chapters that always left me wonder what came next. The underlying polictal intrigue and subtle characterization will be missed and appreciated. 

It is deeply unsettling that the author didnt feel welcomed in this community and a black stain on us all. I highly reccomend checking out their patreon for continued updates to this work and also thier other projects.

Punished
Overall

I grew invested in the characters very quickly, really enjoyed the style of worldbuilding used, and just in general did not want the story to end. This could have certainly become one of my favorites, and I wish I could have read more. Good luck to you, Shroud. Please keep writing, you have a gift.

Draith
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Will be buying the book (If there is one)

Reviewed at: Chapter 10: The Seviner’s White Mask

If you read no more of this review than this line, your take away should be, this is well worth reading.

The single greatest crime this fiction commits is making me wait for more chapters.

Each chapter doesn't feel like it's written for the immediate payoff and episode nature of some fictions. Instead, there's a gradual buildup of the world, characters and System. Well, not always gradual. 

STYLE: Which leads to the minor crimes this story occasionally commits. Don't get me wrong. I love this story, and intend to keep reading. This does not mean it's perfectly aligned to my tastes, my fellow readers.

What are these minor crimes? The first is an occasional overexplanation of things that are already masterfully shown in the worldbuilding. Such as when Fallon, our main character... ah, but that would be spoilers. I don't do spoilers.

The second, is mostly related to the first. And depends on your perspective. The System is very crunchy, as has been mentioned in other reviews. This is for me a negative as it detracts from what is otherwise excellent flow for high paced combat scenes. But it's not such a major negative I can't just skim over these bits.

STORY: Now... as I said, I love this story. And I'd love to regale you with all the reasons why. But, as I said before, that'd be spoiling.

GRAMMAR: A few run on sentences are the only offence in this category. Not even a single misplaced there/their/they're. Pretty high standards for a published book, never mind some of the broken english we encounter here on RR.

CHARACTER: Our main character Fallon is... wait. Spoilers. She's interesting. And she's not the only character who feels fleshed out enough you could reach out and touch them. The characters here are good.

So please, do yourself a favour and dive into this rich world of magic, intrigue and stratified social systems. 

Or don't. You're the one missing out.

ViolentViolet41
Overall

Amazing depth of story, the author makes realistic people, not props for the protagonist, while having a developed setting for the story to take place in. It has a different system than many, and thus requires actual thought and attention, so some won't like that, but it is intelligent, detailed, and thought provoking, and it is not explained in every detail as an isekai would do, and rightly so; the characters are native to this system, and we are seeing their perspectives. Things don't jive perfectly with me, but make sense in the story and the characters. Their is obvious planning for the future, connecting different narratives and broadening what the reader can see with realistic characters, which is amazing. It is wordy and detailed, so not the most streamlined, but you get that all the time with other published works. Lots of Chinese novels, Japanese light novels, wheel of time, all creatures great and small, dune, all sorts of books are like this, and some from before litrpg was a significant genre for western authors. Does the Silmarillion ring any bells? 

Overall, very developed, detailed, and dark story, with excellent characters. 

luda305
Overall

Very Good, Very Crunchy LitRPG; But Niche

Reviewed at: Chapter 5: Stealing Experience

This is a well executed take at an very crunchy LitRPG. Not quite my cup of tea, but there's certainly those who will enjoy it. 

A few thoughts. 

First, this is extremely crunchy. By analogy, I know that chess has a notation system for marking every move of a game. I dont know if there's a similar system for a TTRPG, but if there is, this story is one step (okay, maybe two steps) away from such a notation system. 

Second, because of that, the story is very slow. For instance, if the RPG elements were dropped, I would imagine that the first five chapters would.be condensed down to just "chapter 1". Likewise, because it's so slow, the author is clearly setting this up to run for hundreds of chapters before the plot resolves itself. 

Third, there is some really deep original worldbuilding here. As such, there is a lot of vocabulary to catch up on. 

One significant criticism I have is that some of the monologue/dialogue by or between the protagonist and familiar seems stilted. Like, they are saying very obvious things both should already know. But they are doing so in order to provide exposition for the reader. 

Aspects Untold
Overall

This story takes the litrpg elements that are fairly common now but it took them in a new direction showing a society that was fully structured around them and the good and bad that could be caused by having levels that directly effect power.

Characters are interesting and not just one note or overly perfect.

This story was a lot of fun to read and I was always excited to see a new chapter out.

Well everything was not perfectly it was clear that a lot of work was put in and while some elements such as the attack information was not great it didn't detract from the stroy and at times I did like having the information on how exactly things worked.

I am sad to see that it will no longer be updated on royal road but hope the author is able to continue it and other stories in the future as it had a lot of great elements and a creative spin on the traditional litrpg.

Drey
Overall

Great story, toxic readers.

Reviewed at: Author Note: Dropped

I've really enjoyed the story so far. It's a new take to the all known LitRPG genre. It also plays in a completly different society. 

This Story brings new wind into a genre thats more often then not the same story with different names. You won't find any isekai here, nor will you find the normal "modern society after system apocalypse" anywhere on this page. It's great.

But this new wind attracted the ill will of many people. The author already has a community on patreon and publiced a unpolished draft here to read for free. Instead of being thankful, many people start being mean because this story doesn't fit into the other generic stories you will think of when you hear the word LitRPG. It has a different take on the system, on combat and the most important part: the damage calculation.

In the 28. entries ShroudeWolfe has written about how many people asked her/him to rewrite the system because they don't like it. An audacity I don't even want to understand. And now they did it. Well they reached an compromise. Instead of simply turning away from the story and reading another one, they managed to put the author off. ShroudeWolfe just dropped the story on royalroad and advised her readers to come to patreon if they want to continue reading.

Something I will personally will definitly do, as this story was one of my highlights of the week. 

Many thanks again for posting this wonderful piece of art on this website and making me aware of it. I can and will only recommend it.

InsanElder
Overall

A good begining.

From what was shown up to chapter 10, it is a very bleak fantasy scenario, where humans are in a fight to survive situation. These first chapters alternate between dungeond diving and political intrigue, in both cases things are not explained in all it's details, but shown throught the view of the characters.

From what i have seen and what the autor explained, the system used in this LitRPG will have a lot of number crunching, but it appears to be limited to combat and there were a few chapter where no number appeared.

Lotbyname
Overall

One of the best I've read here

Reviewed at: Chapter 16: Iron Stance

I really like this, the pov characters are all gripping even after only a chapter and the world building is really intriguing. 

 My only concerns are about whether it can carry on at this awesome level and perhaps a bit more exposition at the start to ease into it, as it took me a few chapters to be clear enough to really flow.

It's the first story I felt I had to review!