Had To End Sometime (Apocalypse LitRPG)

Had To End Sometime (Apocalypse LitRPG)

by Rhinothehamster

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Humanity is welcomed into the Multi-verse with a Notification that they have Failed the Quest to be considered Civilized. Humans are designated as Monsters and Earth is the Dungeon they must defend.

The story follows identical Twin brothers who had a chance encounter with God-like power that changes them and grants them a desperately needed edge in the coming Apocalypse. Now separated by a continent during the end of the world and struggling to survive, they learn that everything has a price.

Also there is a pug who will do whatever it takes to get some snacks, belly rubs, and warm snuggles.

System Apocalypse story. Two MC's with at least a few major supporting char's will be OP MC's but still with some struggle

never written anything before so don't be too mean but I do need any constructive advice you can give.

No posting schedule. I work full time and write on my phone when/if i'm in the right mood.

if you like the story just follow and check in every month I'll do my best to keep it going

I have gotten to about one chapter every week, Give or take a day or two. 

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  • Followers :
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  • Ratings :
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  • Pages :
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Author
Rhinothehamster

Rhinothehamster

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Table of Contents
57 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue 1/2 ago
Prologue 2/2 ago
1. Let it begin. ago
2. Do my eyes deceive me ago
3. Or can it be? ago
4. My hero! ago
5. Hope you're not afraid of the dark ago
6. The light hurts my eyes ago
7. Now the monsters... ago
8. Have something to fear ago
9. You're all scared of the wrong thing ago
10. It's an Animal Thing ago
11. What is out there? ago
12. You keep what you kill. ago
13. Hope begins in the dark ago
14. Most just flail around in the blackness ago
15. Did I miss anything? ago
16. Just the knowledge that every minute spent... ago
17. ...in you're company becomes the new... ago
18. ...greatest minute of my life. ago
19. I'll get a ladder. ago
20. Why didn't I see it? ago
21. Of course they were gonna try to kill me. ago
22. Death is what they do for a living. ago
23. Only this time he picked a ghost lane. ago
24. You got it all wrong holy man. ago
25. Can't stay in the open. (1/2) ago
26. Can't stay in the open. (2/2) ago
27. I got civilised. ago
28. I showed trust in one man ago
29. Did I make a mistake? ago
30. Plus, I'll keep the cat in check. ago
31. Whatever was said, was meant to give us a chance. ago
32. A fighting chance. ago
33. I told one man where I might go. ago
34. Can't keep up... ago
35. Don't step up. You'll just die. ago
36. Cute kid. ago
37. ago
38. ago
39. ago
40. ago
41. ago
42. ago
43. ago
44. ago
45. ago
46. Time's up. ago
47. ago
48. ago
49. ago
50. ago
51. ago
52. ago
53. ago
54. ago
55. ago

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Reviews
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jessicaroyale
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Reviewed at about 20 chapters in,

Grammar wasn't perfect, but it was as good as most professionally published fiction.  No complaints there.

Story was the standard system apocalypse trope with enough of an unique spin that it keeps your attention.  

Style was 3rd person, with a couple of pov shifts where the story is told from the perspective of a dog.  Author does a fantastic job of trying to give a non-human POV while remaining intelligible to a human reader.  I've seen other work that tries the same thing, but rarely is it accomplished this well.

Characters are developing fairly slowly, but it looks like some real depth is coming as the story advances.  Flawed protagonists, picking up some fairly OP abilities, but nicely balanced by the difficulty of the world.  

20 chapter's in and plenty of plot has been foreshadowed, but not a lot of movement towards closure, so this will end up either being a truly massive work or a pretty frustrating cliff when it goes on hiatus.

 

Overall, if you like the system apocalypse type stories, this one is better than most that I've seen here on RR, and even better than some commercial fiction.  The blurb at the front doesn't really give it justice.

 

baelrath
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Great story so far. PoV are handled well, especially as its Twin PoV with some side characters.

Even the Dog ones are done well. Bestest Humans indeed.

Content: Apocolapse LitRPG system situation, but for once humans are the "bad guys" and gotta defend.

Power / Systems are nice and unique. A mix of soft/hard magic system.

Caffeine is a mix of Clifford and a Pug, and its epic! He deserves all the treats!

Ugh word limits:

Style - this is done well, great story choices in terms of switiching between perspectives, espeically when MC's are not availabe or to show the same thing from a side char view.

Grammar - no issue, nothing comes to mind, certainly nothing enough to break story flow if it was there.

Characters - You can feel these. Each has its own motivation and flaws. Not everyone is likeable which is a reality. Normally not a fan, but the PoV shifts allow these characters to show their own ticks and growth.

Story - Premise seems simple at the moment, more than enough is happening that i could see it go for a couple hundred chapters or wrap up the story well enough in another 50. All depends if author wants to keep it going.

TechnoPallidin
Overall

Something Different, Dearest Human...

Reviewed at: 49.

I have read up to the current chapter I think 49???   I have really enjoyed the book so far and cannot wait to see how it will develop.  Caffiene I was kind of "eh" at first, but he is just an awesome character.  Keep up the story and good work!

Srayan
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Recommended System Apocalypse read

Reviewed at: 30. Plus, I'll keep the cat in check.

This is an excellent story but you may have to be patient with occasional style issues in the early chapters. The genre is System Apocalypse with a couple of twists. The dog is brilliant.

The characterisation is excellent. As this is a story with three main characters (one is a dog - I kid you not), they are physically separated so you have two separate storylines (which are linked on a metaphysical/ magic level) and a sizeable number of other characters who are fairly well characterised. Caffeine - the dog - is my favourite. Caffeine is currently a non-verbal intelligence, so kudos to the author for trying to write chapters for a non-verbal character. After one or two early hiccoughs these chapters come off very well.

Grammar: there are no basic grammar errors that disturb reader enjoyment. 

Style: overall good especially as you move beyond earlier chapters. The author confronts two main style issues. One is the challenge of having to write some chapters for a non verbal animal. The author really gets into this but some early efforts could do with a redo. The other main style issue is that the author tries to create a sense of tension and disorder at several points, which is reasonable, but in some early chapters the method used to achieve this results in a disjointed  and chaotic narrative. This results in a cognitive dissonance which is off-putting for a reader. This is not about authorial talent but more about how the human brain works. This aspect occurs mainly in early chapters - again I would suggest thinking about a redo.

The story itself is a fascinating twist on a System Alocalypse. 

SPOILER:

The three main characters get caught up in a pre-apocalypse event that links them at the "soul" level, gives them potentially great power but with an unusual form of debuff too. Nevertheless they are each very powerful in very diffferent ways. The main twist is that the Apocalyspe has been engineered by aliens and Earth has been declared a dungeon with humans classed as monsters. The aliens  expect an easy ride but that is not what happens, even if life gets tough for the humans too.