- Sexual Content
He died of old age, surrounded by not people but machines built by his own hands. Join him as he reawakens in a fantasy world, once again, trying his best to reach his dream.
A different person molded by his new surrounding, Adrin had to adapt to survive. The journey towards it would be slow as he had to start from the bottom and build everything from scratch. He had to adapt to using unfamiliar tools to recreate the things he had built, or using science to get ahead.
The world, however, wouldn’t open a path for him to travel. Monsters big and small, people kind and cruel would stand in his way whether he liked it or not.
English is not my first language.
For young adults (light adult content, not romance focused).
A remake/revamp of an original story.
It will take a while before pieces are put together.
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I really like the general idea, the title was magnificent and the creative implementation of physics into the magic system was cool it really just suffered from one major issue. It is too sexual. Everything seems to revolve around sex, he's thrust into a matriarchal society and immediately has people bending over backwards for him. Its kinda weird not gonna lie. If not for all of the sexual themes I might have continued but every other chapter is either him sleeping with another woman or saying that he's such a different giga-chad because he doesnt pounce on anything with legs.
I'm giving it 3 Stars, cause it made me laugh while im feeling down from being ill a bit.
But generally the grammar is really terrible at somepoints.
And a story is kinda sparesly build around one main topic.
And well the story is mostly:
How the *self insert* MC has lots of sex and gets all the 17 year old girls he wants (+ some mature ladys and probably that loli baba busty half-elf one, sooner then later probably other races too and maybe even a princess ? xD).
I dunno if i should continue to read it or wipe my memory banks.
So i will just see where this is going and drop it after chapter 30, if there's still only sexy time going on and nothing else.
I hope this was just the setup for the whole thing till now xD. Atleast he got no super powers, except alot of easy to influence young ladys.
Well polticial wise its gets juicy slowly.
If you're a harem lover or can look past it, its enjoyable. ^^
Still waiting for the golem armor and epic fights. Dungeon, oh dungeon. Were thus at. My hearth bekons they. Smash and loot, all those monsters. Oh dungeon!
Only thing that irks me alot atm is the obession on "blue flames" of that miss xD...
If she ever used air + fire magics. She should have found those by accident till now. But well, i guess story plot? Atleast its a plot ^^. And i'm kinda wondering, how hes gonna create plasma. Or is he gonna fake flame colors to green with some metal scraps xD.
Ahh chemistry 1 0 1.
"Let’s just say, I’m but a simple man,” , Golem Armor MC 2021 before he gets an princess.
Simply put, the description suggests an entirely different story to the one we got. The old man isn't the mc, it's actually a kid who is native to the new world. The old man is a version of the kid from a past life who's memory is sequestered away in Adrin's soul or something.
But the story clearly isn't from an old man's perspective, and the character going through arcs isn't the old man either. The spirit (The person you said was the mc) is actually very vague in the story, popping up to give information and disappearing so the mc can go do stuff. He doesn't qualify as a side/mentor character, HOW IS THIS THE PERSON YOU DESCRIBED THE STORY WITH?!!
If anybody is interested in an actual description of this story, then... I can't really help you out. I havn't read enough and don't know where the story is going to give a good one. But I suspect it would start with-
"Follow the adventures of a young boy whose life diverged from the sad and hopeless existence it would've been if not for a curious spirit obtained during his awakening. Adrin doesn't know where this spirit came from, but it helps him understand more about the world while he struggles to build the strange machines it showed him."
... See how I at least gave an accurate impression of who the main character is? It's the kid, clearly. Read this story if you want the kid, not the spirit who so far hasn't been given his own POV or even any of his own lines. I find this to be the biggest problem by far, not the fact that the story is more concerned with s*x than mechs. It's a more fundemental problem.
Interesting idea, I like the general premise. The characterisation could be better but is strong enough.
The grammar is decent but with some minor mistakes.
There are sentences that just don't make sense though and at some points there are extremely abrupt transitions that felt very jarring.
I don't really get the differences between skills and passives?
Why does it take them an overnight journey to get from the village to the town but Hanna can fetch Emilia by lunchtime? If she can really go that quickly why doesn't the MC remark on it?
What was that about the MC wanting to go into the dungeon?
'Lavisous' seemingly changed from making the user appealing and good in bed to making them walking date rape over the course of a couple of chapters?
You seem to have made a point that the MC had a lot of experience in his previous life but then seem to be oblivious to people being attracted to him?
Anyway thanks for the story and I'm sure if you give it a proper go over you can make something amazing. Good luck
The idea of the story is not bad, the problem is that the MC has no defined personality.
He just does what the voice in his head tells him to do, wins and plows women that literally come knoking at his door. He succeeds at everithing the fist timenhebdoes it, sometimes by pure chance.
In ten chapters whe still have not seen the slightest interes in anything that is not getting stronger or plowing, he is suposed to be resourceful and inteligent to make a mecha but I have seen none of this.
This story needs to give MC a motivation to do things that are not surviving if it wants to be read.
Common mistakes for first write.
Side characters and narrator says "MC is this", "MC is red", "MC is kind" but he isn't. This is one of common mistakes. Author wants his mc to be something but mc doesn't act like that. This situation makes whole world-building hard to believe. If you say mc is philosopher, if title is "philosopher mage" and side-characters fall in love because "mc so pholosophical" but while these happening mc acts like pampered noble 9 years old boy then that means that you are lying.
This is happening in this fiction. MC is not the person author believes. Side characters are too much one dimensional too. There are women fall for him because of some skill and boys that jealous of him. Good and evil, black and white. And one of mc's advantages that he is using system more correct than others but i'm not buying it. Imagine a world where growing up using the system for years of years. Maybe thousands of years. But simple gimmicks of system are unheard of and so-called great Matriachs are astonished by him. This plot might work in more primative world, maybe at the village mc started, not in towns or villages that intteracts with out world.
I believe my review is constructive. I pointed blatant mistakes that makes you want to drop it. MC tinkering with mana and spells is fun to read. Maybe make more intellegent characters instead of awe-stuck cave-mans.
The whole story idea is good, but it is at times unclear.
BUT what is completely unbearable is the whole sleeping around the mc does, it is as if all the women in the whole world want to sleep with the mc, and it is so jarring.
So my reccomendation is to not read this glorified smut.
Story has a interesting foundation and the magic system is one of the more interesting and inventive I've encountered, but the MC would benefit from a bit more development in the first story arc. The first few chapters were promising in terms of character development but it feels like it got sidetracked by the love interest.
Grammar is a bit rough in places but generaly readable and improves in later chapters, the first few chapters would benefit from improving the grammar there as they are the worst offenders in that department. A tool like Grammarly (the free version) would probably catch the worst of it.
The first story arc feels a bit short to me and could be used to flesh out the MC and main side characters a bit more and add a bit more world-building if it was a little longer. Other than that it's a solid arc that sets up the MC and the other characters fairly well. I would have liked to have seen more of the conflict between the MC and first arc antagonist and to dilute the harem aspect, that gets a little too much of the focus as is compared to the protagonist/antagonist conflict even if it is a facet of the conflict, and is definitely the main area in the first arc that could use improvment. As it is the antagonist is more of a background character mentioned in passing than anything else.
Not really going to comment too much on the writing style as that tends to vary quite a bit from author to author. That said the writing style here, while different from what I'm used to, dosn't drive me away from the story.
I'll probably come back and edit this review at some point as the story progresses, probably around chapter 40 or so, and as the author (ideally) improves their writing skills.
Maybe the grammar has been corrected since posting, but it seems pretty ok to me. There are some weird word choices and phrases though.
Plotwise, we're now at a third or fourth location [village, traveling, school, new town]. Multiple sexual encounters. Multiple other women lusting over the MC. Everything is kind of disjointed.
The main answer to Why Build A Mech is Because It's Cool. There's a secondary In Case I Get Hit With Antimagic. We don't know if such a thing exists, but it probably does.
So, not bad, just not really good either.
This is a great story that I can see myself reading for as long as there are chapters. A lot of the other reviews state that the MC is lacking or it is all about sex. I disagree because I have read to chapter 42 and sex is not the main focus. The world does show that when you can die almost every day due to the dangers surrounding you, sex becomes causual and possibly a life saving action in attaching yourself to someone. The MC does have sex but he refuses to more often then anything and limits himself to only a few women hence the harem tag.
Also, the mc is not a bad mc, I say this because I have seen him grow and start to recognize the major influence his past life is playing on him in the latest chapters. All I can say to the critics is to give the story a chance and you will not regret it.
Lastly if you are a grammar n*zi then do not read stories on a site known for budding authors. It is like you going into a flower shop with extreme pollen allergies then getting mad at the shop owner for your allergic reaction, just silly.