Evernya Rising

by Draecath

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Many dream of waking up in a new body filled with potential. However, most ignore the trauma that may follow.

Evernya learned this lesson firsthand when she awakened in a hospital bed alone. Her panic only escalated when she discovered her body wasn’t quite human, as feline ears perched atop her head while a long velvet soft tail sprouted from her tailbone. If her new appendages weren’t traumatizing enough, a storm brewed within her, threatening to explode at any moment.

Follow Evernya as she struggles her way through her new life meeting new friends and foes on her quest for true freedom.

I plan to post daily for the first 35 chapters before dropping down to 4 to 5 a week.

Chapter length 2k to 4k words.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 13,590
  • Average Views :
  • 647
  • Followers :
  • 241
  • Favorites :
  • 29
  • Ratings :
  • 65
  • Pages :
  • 197
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
Draecath

Draecath

Achievements
Word Count (VII)
10,000 Views
200 Followers
100 Comments
Top List #2000
3rd Anniversary
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Seelentrinker
Overall

I really like this story and I definitely want to read more of it. In addition, the setting is something new for me. Especially the psychological aspect of the processing of the transported person. Stuck that in a foreign body and deal with it. The panic and the place where it wakes up.

In addition, the mysterious setting, the uncanny, the unknown, and everything around it gives the story a special note. The fact that the story is kept in a modern and not in a classic medieval style gives it a special touch.

Since I read with a translator, I can't say much about grammar or spelling, but I love the story. The many insights into the thoughts also make it easier to empathize with the panic.

I hope to read more from this author.

CasualDarkSouls
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Very Interesting story, but dialog is a bit stiff

Reviewed at: Chapter 13 The Visitors

Summary: The overall story and characters are intriguing and are unique enough to really draw me in. I would absolutely recommend this story.

Although to be truely great I feel it needs some editing to smooth out the dialog which feels very stiff and feels like a narration sometimes. (Discussion below)

The story is about a girl in a cat girl body. She wakes up in a lab unsure what is going on.  It is 1/2 reincarnation, 1/3 western fantasy with some cultivation elements to round it out.  Overall the world building is not bad so far, but we are still getting started.  Although the author has a couple lore dumps in later chapters. (Always better to show not tell)

For characterization, it is actually pretty good.  I feel some of her trama could have been built up better (again below), but she does feel like she has the beginning of a personality.

The Grammar isn't bad, just stiff.

Again, overall it is good and I will bump it up to a 4.5 if it progresses well, it is almost there.

Details with spoilers

The biggest issue to me is the dialog:

Example Quote:

After taking a few minutes to digest Meira’s explanation and apology, Evernya replied, “It may take me a little while to trust you, but I accept your apology. I understand you didn’t mean to hurt me, but I’ll need some time.”

A less stiff version (in my opinion).

Evernya paused and looked up into Meira's eyes while her mind replayed her explination. Studying her and finding nothing she could sense was admiss, Evernya slowly relaxed her shoulders she hadn't realized she had tightened. "I understand....I ... I will accept your appology. For now I will believe you did not mean to hurt me."

More descriptions on her emotions, less simple stating of what is going on. Using the dialog to sound like a semi scared girl putting up a strong front.

 

The story does do some lore dumps from Meira, these could have been spread out a bit.

Meira could also use some fleshing out. Like hobbies, unconscious habbits, opinions that can be seen when topics are discussed... Etc

Finally, but kinda important.

The trama of being tied down seems to come out of no where.  A trama or fear is good, but should be rational. Example: having her wake up in the lab tied up and having her slowly chip her shackels open over many weeks/months just to find she can't get out of the lab and the deep fear she kept having to fight off.  Then waking up on a table tied up again would have made the trama and her freak out make much more sense. Again, I like she has a trama and is pushing through it. It really makes us empathize with her.  It just comes out from nowhere.

 

rmullins
Overall

Panic, break things, faint, repeat.

Reviewed at: Chapter 10 The Questioning

Wake up, minor exploration, navel gazing, deny reality, cry, scream, break things, faint, repeat.

There, now  you've read the entirety of what this story offers. That's it. The only real variation is the number of repeats each chapter and the details of what specifically causes each fainting session.

Everything else is just descriptions and introspection from a protagonist that seems to go out of their way to act as  ignorant of their situation as possible.

 

I'll give you 2.5 for not having grammar issues or typos.