Maker Of Power

Maker Of Power

by Alaqi

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Reality turns Legend. Legend turns Myth. And Myth vanishes over time. But not these Myths. Not this Legends. Not this Reality. No. These are stories that everyone knows. Storys sang time and time again. Tales of magic powerful enough to rival whole kingdoms. And the people that wield that magic. Everyone knows them. The tale of Velacinir, the Great. The song of Alek, the Skilful. The Legend of Waner, the Lost Smith. The Myth of Kaveli, the Unifier.

All people know these things. These Storys, Legends, Myths, Tales, Songs. And mostly everyone thinks they never happened.

But they did. And I was part of them. All of them.

I was there. I might not have been the one to kill the dragon. The one that found the skill of resurrection. The one that fought whole armies for their family. I might have not been those people but I was there. Because although I may have not done those things, the people that did it weren't created from night to day. They did not just appear. They were taught like everyone else. They were just better at the things that people taught them. That I taught them.

Yes. I am not the one that songs are being written about. I may not be the one whose legends perdures even until today. But one thing I am. I am their teacher, their instructor. I am the one that made them what they became. I am... Who am I? I had many names through the ages, but there was one that stuck to me the most.

I am the Maker of Power.

But like the ones that I thought. I was also a normal person before everything that happened.

And this is how it all happened. This is MY Story. MY Legend. MY Myth. MY Song and MY Tale.

This is MY beginning.

And YOU SHALL LEARN IT.

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Release schedule: Nonexistent.

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Author
Alaqi

Alaqi

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MalevolenceMau
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Fast-paced, Fast-levelling, Fast LitRPG.

Reviewed at: Chapter 7 - Goblins. Hundreds of them.

Maker of Power feels very similar to a Disgaea-type game where numbers become ludicrous quickly, easily beating down double-digit stats as we go into hundreds, thousands, and as teased tens of thousands.

Style: A simple story with a third-person approach. In the beginning, it swaps between what seems like 4 different characters. Characterization bleeds a bit into the narration, which helps to understand who is "in control" at a time. Though it definitely feels like Lariel is the main character, being the most powerful and improving at a staggering speed against everyone else. His "cheats" are explained early, though do feel a bit out-of-place as they came from his parents, so feels like there should be many more like him. 

The style of writing is quick when going through combat or traversal but slows down a lot during conversations and tests. 

Grammar: The author is a non-native English speaker, so it is understandably not pristine in the grammar or spelling department. Sadly, this story is littered with misspellings like "soo" instead of "so" or "thru" instead of "through". Plurals use the wrong suffixes, some words are separated, and descriptions are off. There are so many that it takes you out of the story at times, but thankfully the author is welcoming to fixes.

Story: Following 3 characters, the story seems to drop them in favour of Lariel quickly. I prefer a single-protagonist approach so I am fine with this. It is completely focused on a progression theme, however, I feel like the MC progresses too quickly and is given almost everything on a silver platter that has a side-order of dead parents. He isn't unstoppable, but at 15 he can take on 9 of his peers at once. He is also lauded as the 2nd strongest person to ever join the guild, which sets him on a high pedestal. If you're a fan of MCs that are plainly better than everyone else then you're in for a treat, though the way it is structured it feels like there should be many others like him.

The prologue, however, is completely baffling and I have no idea why it is in this story. It explains a different place with different people and different backgrounds. Later on, the author asks about having two separate timelines, which I think would be a major misstep in the story's development.

Character: We're introduced to a slew of orphans, a few getting some personalities and aesthetics. We have a few archetypes thrown about, but with the early stages that the story sits in, there isn't much depth. With a lack of inner monologue, it is hard to know what the characters are thinking, aside from their actions and dialogue. I got a sense of Eren Yeager from AoT with Lariel, wanting to take revenge on the slime that killed his parents.

DrBuller
Overall

Did anyone else look at the stats more?

Reviewed at: [ReWritten] Chapter 15 - Victory Thrust

Not just talking about the numbers on the "tables" in the fiction but also on the stats that the author put out on the ANs. I only read four of the chapters, but I did look a the ANs further ahead. Great to see the average growth and all. Good stuff.

Anway, I do think this is pretty solid work. From the titles alone, it should be clear that the author is trying hard to make this into something workable. Style and grammar might need some work but on them, but that is clearly already being dealt wiht. Characters... the story is also good.

Overall a pretty solid work. 4.5/5 from me.

Underload
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Warning: There are a lot of skill notifications, and I mean a lot! The book definitely needs to use the spoiler to hide the notifications. 

The story follows 2 boys from an orphanage. One, the main character, lariel wants revenge and for that, he wants to become strong. this friend also wants to become strong, but to live a happy life. Since their motivations differ, their efforts also differ from each other. 

lariel is hell-bent on becoming strong. He practices harder. He kills more monsters. And it helps that he has a cheat. Nothing overpowering, but his skills grow fast. I don't like seeing large numbers actually. I find them cheap, and it does feel like that in the book. 

Anyways, since the other boy doesn't have a cheat skill like lariel, he's slight, kind of jealous of his friend's progress, and that I find cute. Because it opens room for some mischief.

I wish something was going on in the background, but the story is pretty straightforward as much as could see.

The characters are motivated, and for one they have some personality. They definitely need to be shown the horrors of the world, but that will probably happen in eh future chapters.

The style and grammar need work. I don't nitpick about this part of the review usually, since my own language skills are basically average, but since I could find a lot of awkward sentences, I guess it's safe to say the native speakers would definitely not agree if I gave him grammar a higher point.

Overall: The author definitely knows where he wants to take the story. YOu will definitely like it if you are a fan of large numbers and dungeon dwellings. 

KoboldPatrol
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

OP MC but interesting premise

Reviewed at: Chapter 13 - Realizations

(as of chapter 13)

The story blurb says that this is the story about the unknown helper who made the famous heroes successful. A very interesting premise. Since we are still very early in the story, all that has not really happened yet. So far it is about Lariel getting his Class and then earning Skills and levels in the local dungeon. But he has given some good hints to his friends, so that might be how he starts to help others. 

The story is told in third-person internal style, the POV changed between three people so far. Grammar is more or less okay, as is the prose. The author is not a native English speaker, so there are small errors and awkward sentences, but it's still readable. It's a LitRPG with lots of Skills and System Notifications. So many that I already tend to only skim over many of them. Levels and skill levels have rather high numbers, quickly reaching triple digits. 

So far, the story showed how the central characters see each other, how they received their Classes, and that they had their first forages into the local dungeon. The author is trying to include lots of information about world-building early into the story, which per se is laudable; in the first version that sadly took the path of bad info dumps, although some of that was improved later. The story is very fast-paced, with progress happening by leaps and bounds. The fights are not detailed, they are little more than lists of what enemy is defeated in which way. 

There seem to be three central characters in this story, if we go by points of view. The clear main character, Lariel, is the very best in everything, a once-in-a-lifetime prodigy with enough confidence (arrogance?) for ten. He's giving off major Mary Sue vibes, orphanage and tragic family backstory included. His flawlessness and awesomeness might be getting toned down in the rewrite. Or they may not, because his Class is one that just gives more the more you have. In my opinion, it absolutely kills the suspense if a character does not have to struggle at all, because then the readers already know that he will easily succeed against whatever obstacle turns up. Many readers like overpowered characters, but I hope the author can compensate for that. At least the MC shows a helpful side after a few chapters instead of reinforcing the first impression of being an arrogant a*hole. 
The other two important characters are the two next-strongest kids from the orphanage, taking the roles of mage and tank, we'll see how much they'll do in the story. The different characters have different goals and also seem to have different personalities, from the little that has been shown so far. 

All in all, this is an interesting story, even though the technical quality of writing can use some improvement. Since the latter is probably just a matter of time and experience, we'll see where it goes. 

The Walrus King
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Classic Dungeon Delving with a fast paced story.

Reviewed at: Chapter 8 - Overwhelming the expectations

The story is fast paced. It has similarities to many other stories I have read: Conflict, and envy amount the characters, the MC is overpowered compared to his peers, everyone is striving to to get powerful and be the best, a complex but quick leveling system with lots of skills. It's the backdrop for a lot of stories, but not a complaint. I like this type of story. 

The MC is a loner, at least for now, but the othre characters get some screen time so I'm going to asssume they keep coming back for later chapters.  All the characters are 14-15 year old orphans training to be adventurers, so their flaws, jealousies, and hasty nature are actually pretty natural for that age group. Lots of room for growth and maturing, which i've seen a couple of hints of. So far a lot of the characters are flat, and we only know because of some little hints. This person is driven, these two quarrel a lot, this one is jealous. All of them are planning on being stars. (Again, normal. My own two 15 year olds talk about getting onto disney shows or 'just wanting to be part of a movie cast'. All kids want to be movie stars.)

Fights are fairly quick, at least at first. I expect they will have to slow down and get a bit more detailed as the MC goes from slaughtering goblins wholesale to fighting bigger monsters one on one. 

The feedback I'd give is to firt of all get a proof reader. There were quite  a lot of misplaced words and very awkward sentence structure. I know from experience how often I put down bad words and move on without noticing, only for my proof reader to point them out. It helps a lot. 

No real comment on the story, just too early to really see the plot emerging. But we have a good base and I'll be following along to see how it goes.



Althayas
Overall

Classic but pleasant to read. I will fo;;ow with interest the following chapters.Poor Kan, L'Arielle is s little,too overpowered for him. The.partnership witth the dwarf smith is a cool idea.. Concerning the  writing a few miswritten words: heels  and heals for example. The main character appears to possess a minimum of morality at first and a willing egotist, but in the last chapter (10), he is willing  to give advice to two of his comrades in the orphanage, both having the intelligence to understand and elaborate on these ideas.

 

scost
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Maker of power is a classic dungeon delving story with a heavy dose of LitRPG elements. It uses these familiar tropes and trappings to tell its story with an engagingly fast pace and good direction.

Style: The strongest part of the style is the fast pace. While it is front loaded with a lot of detailed information on the world and litRPG elements, the story leans on the reader familiarity with these concepts to keep up a fast pace and not get bogged down. 

The prose is rough to start with, but gets noticeably better as the story progresses. Acknowledging that the story is in its early phases, this bodes well and the awkward sentence structure and wording of the early chapters is very much improved in later chapters. On stylistic element that could use work is the lack of stakes and real-time action at this stage. Most of the action is relegated to recountings after the fact and bogged down in a lot of system notifications. We're dealing with low level goblins at the moment, but I'd like to see more real-time descriptions of fights in later chapters.

Story: This is a familiar setting, but presented well. The descriptions don't bog down the reader, but are sufficient to get a good grasp of the world at this point. The goal of getting stronger is a bit abstract but works well in this genre. I'd like to see a bit more conflict apart from straight levelling up.

Grammar: There are a few consistent grammatical and spelling mistakes, but overall does not really impair the reading experience too much. As mentioned before, there is an awkwardness in wording and sentence structure, but it is improving with each chapter.

Character: The early chapters suffer from character dialogue being used exclusively to relay setting and litRPG descriptions, which makes the characters feel a little flat. Lariel feels very detached, but has a definite voice to his narration that is well developed. I especially like Kan as his conflict and jealousy of Lariel is well presented and engaging. I also like the way in which the perspectives shift to different characters. This allows them to develop their voices and character really effectively.

Overall, Maker of power has a lot of potential. The system is solid and is presented in a very effective way that will have LitRPG fans well satiated. 

blobbombs
Overall

This story is nice (not many chapters there yet but I liked the writing and everything so far). The main reason I even started reading this was because the description was GREAT. Loved it. Hope you continue the same way and don't drop it 

Also the system parts are well done here