Marauding Gods (First Draft)

For the most part I enjoyed this story, magic is always cool and Aina is fun and unique.

Only two things trip me up.

The first, unfortunately, is the grammar. Now, I'm not a grammar nazi or anything, everyone makes mistakes, me included.

But I couldn't go more then a paragraph without missing words, punctuation, commas, and odd spacing.

The second is the Main Character's age, well... not their age specifically but how everyone reacts to it.

In the first chapter, despite the MC being a literal toddler Maa has zero qualms about them talking like an adult.

Syrus talked to a 4-6 (I couldn't tell exactly) year old about war and death and monsters.

It may not be out of character, but it raised an eyebrow for me, nonetheless.

If these two issues are fixed (or at least explained at some point for the second one) then I believe this will be an enjoyable story for many!

This novel tells the story of an illegitimate noble but it has a twist. He isn't supposed to be born, it's not that it is socially unacceptable but it is impossible for him to be born.

The style is simple and comedic. It perfectly encapsulates how the story is supposed to be read and it has a light tone to it. I did not feel burdened while reading this book and I could understand most of the words.

There are some grammatical mistakes but the author fixes most of them as time goes by. The grammatical mistakes don't take away the fun of reading this story and don't bother me as I have read machine translated novels before.

There is a story and a damn good one at that with a unique plot and a direction that is not know to the story. There is a large amount of potential which can be tapped and the author knows this. The stories pace is slow and steady but this lets us take in all the information that is given to us and process it.

The characters in this story are just entertaining. They make me laugh and each have a personality to them. The MC acts his age and isn't some genius and works hard to achieve his goal. There is no harem, as far as I have read and the character interaction are comedic and meaningful.

I would definely recommend this story to someone who is a fan of the historical genre and wants to enjoy the characters as mush as the story.

This story is super fun, interesting, and exactly what a web-novel should be. It is a page-by-page (or, rather, chapter-by-chapter) experience that should be experienced as such. The story does not suffer from this, neither does the characterization or style. 

Style:

While the story felt a little off at times, I would say this could be chalked up to needing a mild revision down the line. It's a WIP, and one that I enjoyed reading. 

Grammar:

This is the aspect of the story that definitely needs a revision, but it did not take me too far out of the story. For start, the sentences can come across as choppy and short in certain instances, and technical errors sprinkled throughout. 

Outside of these things, I would think they could be fixed after a quick read through and edit! Just need to put a focus on that :) 

Story:

The pacing of this story is slow, and key elements are unraveled chapter-by-chapter which is exciting. Every time I click "next," I am expecting a fun experience that allows me to better understand the charactesr, what makes them tick, and how they realistically respond to the things thrown at them.

Overall, I really enjoyed this experience and will continue on! I'm a slow reader, but I recommend this story as of Chapter 5! :)

Like, a month ago I sent in a review for this story. Or at least I thought I did. For whatever reason, it isn't here anymore. Since the Admins didn't message me about deleting it, I have to assume that I forgot to submit. Truly, my wisdom knows no bounds.

Since I am very lazy, I'll just put up points in bullet points.

... I can't make bullet points. Guess I'll do the scuffed version instead.

* Good plot-points

* Thinner than needed characthers

* Bad attempts at jokes at some points(couldn't even imagine myself making a pity smile)

* Good enough style.

Not the worst. Not the best. 4.5/5

Interesting story. Looking forward to see more explanations about how magic came to be for the future nobles and how did they multiply when relationships with commoners should be impossible.

Story during MC's childhood period at a somewhat quiet pace, eagerly waiting to see if it will speed up after his coronation and the consequences from it (no spoilers).

Excellent grammar, hardly any mistakes ever being found excluding a few and rare typing ones.

Main characters personality quite refreshing. Not a regular boring dense hero, also no reincarnating genius trying to become a sage in diapers. It is good to see a hardworking character that still can act like his age 

Very interesting story. I'm not super far into it yet but I'm excited to see where it goes. That being said my god is the grammar bad. Regularly the wrong word is used in very obvious ways. And there are parts where the same thing has been written twice but slightly changed. As if the author rewrote the sentence but forgot to delete the original one. 

Overall so far it's a good story. If you aren't too fussed about poor grammar you will most likely enjoy it.

I wonder why it isn't well known yet, it is better than most I have read, with a promising future developement, not perfect, but really good.

apart from the grammar, the characters are likable, well fleshed out, each with his own backstory, the power system is good untill now, though it seems slightly overpowered, really want to see how it would develop

There are hints of a story here but there are a few things that prevent me from enjoying it:

1. Repetitions - I don't need to read that the nobility has magic more than once or twice

2. There is basically no character interaction - his nanny is extensively described as a nuisance and she is the only one actually talking to him

3. Explanations and info-dumps that I could have done without - why do I need to for example know the classifications of monsters if I haven't even read about him meeting regular animals?

4. Comment section is locked (at least in the first few chapters

5. Very short chapters - I read a short scene and then must wait a few seconds to read further. That does not make for a fluent read which is further exacerbated by 1., 2. and 3.

I liked the detail about finding the books and the way he found them (skirting around a minor spoiler) and his relationship with his parents makes me curious so there is definetly potential to this story.

An interesting concept that is poorly communicated. Paragraphs are repeated multiple times, bad punctuation, misspelled words, wrong words, bad sentence structure, etc. Its just a step above an MTL. Which is unfortunate, because it might be good. But I'll never know because the writing is pretty scuffed. I read reviews that it gets better, but the entirety of book one is bad. And I'm not willing to go through a second book of this.

Nothing really happens book 1. There's a lot of lore/info dumping. Not really world building since so much is unexplored. But thats what happens when most of the story takes place literally in no mans land. Theres the start of a climax at the end thats really disappointing. I say start, because it never ends. That's the prologue to book 2. WTF..... just when ya think there's finally going to be a payoff for slogging through the grammatic swamp, book just ends at the climax. No resolution. Sure, there's a book 2, but do ya really want to suffer more for a payout that might never come? I don't. It's why I'm dropping this.