Darke Mag'yx

Darke Mag'yx

by scost

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

The dread visage of the lord necromancer, sending forth a sea of rotting flesh to mould the world in his image. This wonderful picture flickers and dies as Lucien's undead construct stumbles and promptly melts into an unmentionable slurry. 

As Lucien struggles to become the dread necromancer he knows he should be, he gets swept up in nationwide conflict that he wants no part in. 

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  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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Reviews
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AnxiousReader
Overall

It's funny story, the Magic's cool, a solid, hot story

 

Im bad at words so I really need to pad this review, idk what to say though...

 

So how's the weather? Cool? Cool... how are the kids? Oh wow, that's great for little Timmy...

 

Jeez how long is 50 words again-

FGC_Checkmate
Overall

An Enjoyable Fantasy Romp

Reviewed at: Chapter 2

The first thing I noticed about Darke Mag'yx is that the main character's voice is strong. Very strong. He has a very distinct personality. He's confident (perhaps to a fault) and perhaps a bit pretentious considering his background. Despite his capabilities he still has much to learn before being able to be considered fully compotent, giving him plenty of room to grow and develop. If that is your kind of character, then you'll enjoy this story. 

The action is also well-paced and intense. The chase through the caverns from oversized rats was quite tense and enjoyable. There was gore, suspense and even a bit of comedy, all packed into the first chapter.

There are some punctional hiccups here and there but that could be because of a difference in countries (I'm from the US while the authour is Australian according to a comment). Nothing that detracts from the reading though.

Overall, definitely a well thought-out and written story!

DrBuller
Overall

On phone

Nothing extreme. Just feels like im on the recieving end of a older woman who cant accept that we Are out of organic whale eggs.

If that mental image interests you in any way, i do recommend that you try this out. The grammar isnt that bad. 5/5

Edge Valmond
Overall

A solid enough story I can say, with a few things to take note of. Separate dialogue from body text, I do not recommend using parenthesis, and some things are better written out than simply stated. The connecting point, is that, all three can break immersion. Now this aside, the story is engaging, and it does strike a level of curiosity.

horizon108
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I laughed until I wheezed and kept reading on!

Reviewed at: Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I have read the book only until chapter 5 and it's only because of a want of time that I've stopped there.

The novel is incredibly funny off the bat. The descriptions are long, descriptive, and I had the feeling I was reading Wodehouse come to life in the modern (medieval?) world. Incredible!

Overall score: 4.5/5 - by rights it should be 4/5 but the grammar issues are nothing that a good editor won't fix and so I'm skipping over that and giving it a straight 4.5/5 for giving me a headache from laughing too much.

Style score: 4.5/5 - long paragraphs in the first-person narrative, somewhat poorly punctuated, and yet it doesn't stop me from reading with eyes widened as far as they can possibly go and the neighbor wondering if I'm asphyxiating due to the wheezes coming from my room.

Story score: 4/5 - So far, pectoralis major Knight and his charming Caithurt Majesty aside, the plot hasn't really advanced much. Hence, I can only give this a 4/5 and say that as a portal fiction, this is off to a very promising start.

Grammar score: 3.5/5 - I'm rubbish at grammar myself and I focus only on the readability of the novel. The novel read like a charm but the grammar and tenses were in some places noticeable enough that even I could pick up on them and hence .5 has been knocked off. A good editor though would probably make short work of the errors and chuckle happily as he pockets the cash.

Character Score: 5/5 - The characters are well differentiated, eminently sarcastic, and hilarious to boot. I loved them. Nuff said.

All in all, this is a very promising novel and if you snort in laughter, consider finding a private room because you're going to be doing that a lot.

Good luck to the author and cheers!

MalevolenceMau
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Funny yet varied story

Reviewed at: Chapter 4

A welcome breath of fresh air as the story follows an eloquently descriptive character who explains the situations and areas to a point where his intelligence definitely fits that of a high-intellect spellcaster. 

Style: With an ambitious first-person style, this story has a protag that talks almost as if he were a narrator but not in such a way that is unbelievable or annoying. I'd say it's closer to a normal-pace story, it has slow moments combined with faster moving events. 

Story: The first chapter is heavy in its description of the current events, with the following chapters continuing with a handful of paragraphs for each segment. It is a bit weird to follow at times, combining dialogue with inner monologue too closely but is engaging nonetheless. 

Grammar: The lack of punctuation is a heavy downside to reading, it creates a disjointed flow, especially when dialogue is in the mix. Since the story uses a first-person perspective, the MC describes the events and can falter a lot when it follows speech. Aside from that, I didn't find many other issues.

Character: With the MCs opinion of the characters he interacts with it can be a bit harder to fully grasp the intentions or attitudes of those around him. Thankfully, due to his intellect, he gives a modicum of information to the other individuals of the story.

 

Overall, this story is one to read if you like affluent dialogue and descriptions. However, it may put off some who don't like overly long descriptions or drawn-out scenes. It has some comedic flair though comedy is always a subjective thing, it didn't have me bursting out loud with laughter but did bring a smile to my face every so often.

A V Dalcourt
Overall

Heavy sarcasm ahead

Reviewed at: Chapter 1

It starts off as first person satire with heavy wit and sarcasm. It's an easy enough read with a sort of stream of conciousness sort of vibe to the rythm of the words. I found a few gramatical issues, but no deal breakers especially since my grasp on grammar is tenuous at best.
I have a strong sense of the lead character, who he is and what he's about - though his what's and why's have yet to be discovered. The secodnary cast have strong tropes attached to them that are reminiscent of some old D&D campaigns with your basic character classes. 
I get the impression that the writer is poking fun at the old systems and ramping up the cliche's to 11, and in it's own way, it's refreshing to read.

Invictus21
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Lot of potential waiting to be unleashed

Reviewed at: Chapter 11

I have been planning to write the review for sometime but got delayed.

I have to say the novel was a pleasant surprise to me. Its not like the usual stories that I read, but something about the novel kept me engaged. I can feel story building up and can clearing feel that the author has some good plans/plots that he will be revealing soon. So overall a good story which I enjoyed and would recommend others to read.

Grammer : I couldnt find any grammer errors in the story. It is well written and there are no issues at all. The quality is top notch and hope it continues the same.

Story : I like the story really well. I just wish the pacing was bit faster. There were lot of areas where I wished things would happen faster. But then again, it could be just my personal preference. But overall the story was very engaging and makes you wonder what comes next.

Character : This is best part of the story. I loved the different characters and the interactions/relation among them. It was well written and felt very real, which not every story can do. The characters from different backgrounds getting together due to the circumstances was very nice to see.

Style : Again , just wish the pacing was bit faster. Apart from that all good. 

Overall a great read and would recommend you to give it a try

Blind_Watcher
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Solid and entertaining, perhaps not for everyone

Reviewed at: Chapter 16

Having finished the first whole book and a couple of chapters of the second, you can definitely see improvment as the story goes along. While in need of a editting pass for minor punctuation and grammar errors, it still reads quite well. I would raise my review atleast a half star for the corrections, as sometimes the punctuatoin errors can break story flow.

The first person perspective int he present tense is an interesting choice that generally qorks quite well with the story, but there are a few tense  mixups that need touching up. It can also be a little unclear when shifting character perspectives regarding who s perspective you are currently reading. Not a huge deal though, as it tends to become obvious within a couple of paragraphs.

The characters and the story are of course heavily intertwined, which is why I stated that the story may not perhaps be for everyone. The core trio of protagonists have an interesting group dynamic, but it can lead to some divisive group decisions being made that leave atleast one character dissatisfied with the outcome. In my personal opinion, the story is actually at its best when the group is temporarily sepperated or  hasn't quite formed yet. In pairs, the characters contrasting traits really come to the foreground and get a chance to breathe without the outlyer being trampled by hasty vote. having said that, I still liked the group dynamic of the trio, just not as much.

The bad guys...I think some of them are quite well done in their relitive simplicity, less in this instance being very much more. However, a mastermind character introduced later int he story seems to not quite hit the mark for me, which is a shame, but I feel like that is a personal preference issue.

The background characters seem pretty great honestly. Just regular people trying to live their lives.

Definitely worth a read. 

Alaqi
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A Nice Well Made Diverse Story

Reviewed at: Chapter 5

This story despises a young wannabe Necromancer, or at least, forced to be a Necromancer, that encounters adventurers on a mission where everything goes wrong.

It's definitely a mixture between fast and slow pace that gives the information about how the world works as it is needed, and does not overwhelm the reader with unnecessary information right at the start. The first-person view s nicely done, and you can see an effort to make everything fit in and work like all parts of a major project.

It's a well-presented comedy that implements different things that you would not usually see together, in this case, transmigration and non necessarily evil Necromancer. It all fits well and makes the whole story rather enjoyable.

I am a non-English speaker, so I don't pay much attention to this in specific, but there doesn't seem to be any errors, or if there is, they are not major. It flows well when reading and does not make it hard for the reader to process things. There are no overly complex sentences nor har to understand terms.

The characters all have a certain flair. They certainly do not seem like they are there only to fill the path of the MC. The change of POV is well signaled and allows us to see how the different characters see the different situations.

It definitely has the potential to become great, and I think it can become rather successful if only the cover depicted the story a little better.