Long Fang - Cultivator vs. System

by Winged Wolf

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

A serious cultivation story with comedic elements. A wholesome rebellion against unjust heavens.

This is the story of a young cultivator, Long Fang, who accidentally ends up in a cultivation-less world. The warriors of this new world are empowered by a mysterious System, but Long Fang decides to fight the System instead of joining it. In the process of growing stronger, he makes heartfelt friends, spreads the practice of cultivation far and wide, and even forms his own sect!

Join Long Fang in his crusade against the System and see where it goes. It should be fun.


Expect:

-  Fast-paced plot.
-  Adventure, with all that it entails.
-  A story written to be enjoyable, not perfect.

Don't expect:

- People who think and act optimally.
- A story focusing on just the MC.

Chapter updates are 3/week. This might change in the (not so far) future, but for now let's say 3 and we'll see what happens. As the wise men say, gambling is cool.

Constructive feedback is more than welcome! Thanks for reading!

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  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
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Author
Winged Wolf

Winged Wolf

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
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TrueCipres
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Screw this blue window, I will do things my way

Reviewed at: Chapter 26: Entering the Ruined City

I had been waiting for a story of a Main character that doesn't trust the system and actually doesn't use it. What the system can so easily give, it could take away; despite how obvious this sound it is never an issue in novels of this kind and that's kind of a bummer to me. Seeing this character defying everything to take a route of his own is very satisfying.

Characters:

So far so good; not many characters had been presented, but the few that had, such as the MC, have well defined characteristics and tend to show emotions that make them feel more alive. My only problem is something I will touch upon on style

Story: As said before I love the concept. So far it is behaving a bit like a classic cultivation novel but with a likeable main character in a fish out of water situation. The cultivation system is rather interesting. This is probably the most interesting first stage I had read in a while.

Grammar: Spotless. If something is wrong grammatically, I am no seeing it. Be it character based mistakes or structure, this is top notch for Royal Road and I bet the author takes his time with this. 

 

Style: Here is my one issue and I might be alone on this. The narration is good and expressive, but I feel it gets a bit too hammy at time. Even with plot points we had seen before, this IS a cultivation novel and some cliches are to be expected I mean, the story tend to go heavily into the drama of the situation. This is not bad perse, but I feel that to me it seems over acted. You know how this is going to go, so the more the story goes on a tangent to explain the suffering or psychological pressure, the less it feels real as you are constantly in the known of how things will play out. The positive is that this can flesh out a character more, the negative is that the more you do it, the less dramatic each situation like this feels. 

 

All this said, this is definitely deserving of an overall 5/5 and I sincerely recommends giving it a go if you like cultivation novels with a twist, a not as*h**e main character and wanted to see somebody defy the system and do things his way. 

 

Shaoraka
Overall

Cultivation done right, to me at least

Reviewed at: Chapter 5: Automatons

I like this, cuz it's rare to have a good cultivation novel that portrays prideful yet not arrogant cultivators, and this seems, for now, to do just that.

The writing is great, nothing fancy but it flows just smoothly and i never not understood what the author meant.

Not that many characters just yet, but the two that've been focused on for now are nice, not too cliche, likable.

All in All, it's good, the story deserves you give it a try.

GygaxFan
Overall

Awesome story. Main character and traveling buddy are interesting and have depth, their interactions offering a way to introduce the reader into some of the background lore of the world without it being an infodump.

 

The main character is powerful but not overbearingly so, and the story shows well that he earns his power which makes victories and losses seem more meaningful. 

fujitora ishuo
Overall

I had this in another tab open for a few days because of a recommendation from another novel. As I finished another novel today I went through my unread novels and after sorting to others out landed on this one. After the first paragraph I knew that I was going to like it and quickly read through the currently 8 chapters. 

I enjoyed it quite a lot. I like characters with a positive outlook on thinks that are confident and not arrogant which is what happens here. I didn't really notice any bad tropes so far and the plot has been quick but interesting.

That said there isn't a lot of chapters released yet so it's hard to make a finally judgement and I may need to change my review in the future.

Rageflare
Overall

While it is still early, right now the story is hitting all the right spots for me. Love the interplay of characters and the great world-building. The author has put a lot of effort in designing the magic system for the setting. People who enjoy reading cultivation stories would definitely love this one. If the author continues executing in this manner, this fiction will definitely reach the peak like Fang!

Borscht
Overall

I'm always a fan of stories where there is suspicion of the System and freeing an oppressed, System-less group is an excellent start. Also, I love kobolds.

The protagonist is generally a little bland, but there are flashes of more interesting aspects I look forward to following up on. This is still early in the story, so he hasn't had much time to decompress. I do enjoy his fatalistic cockiness.

I will be following this.

Monkey_Without_a_Tail
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Having read a few chapters ahead on patreon, I can't help being a little biased with my rating. I will be giving it full stars to help the author advance in trending, but I'll also give it a separate 'personal' rating in my review to express my feelings.

Having said that, this is a really good story, and in no way does it not deserve a 5 star rating!

---

Style - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Every author has their own writing style, and so does Winged Wolf. From the way he portrays scenes, events, and characters inside the book, it gives of a nice and natural vibe to it, making you want to read more and more as you go down the line.

However, with the book being heavily built around both the cultivation genre, and the system genre, I can't help but give this a 4 star rating. Those two genres are heavily conflicting with each other, (which is the book's point) and it can get tedious oftentimes.

To me at least, the author's style tends more towards the system side of things, when he clearly wants to write a cultivation story.  

 

Grammar - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

There is nothing to be said here. I am not a native speaker of English, but, even to me it's obvious how good the novel's grammar is. 

 

Story - ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

The story is nice and linear, going from point A to B in a swift enough manner to keep you hooked, but also being enjoyable at the same time.

The only thing pulling it down for me, is the occasional predictableness it gives off. A cliche here and there is fine to pump up things now and then, but too much and it could be disastrous.

 

Character - ⭐⭐⭐⭐

Last but not least, the characters. This is probably the biggest issue I have with the novel so far. I considered giving it a 3.5 stars rating, but all the characters so far had been vibrant and alive making me want to comment on that.

It is hard to bring life to a character inside a book, and even harder to do so for multiple characters at the same time. Winged Wolf has managed just that, and it was enough to earn him half a star more.

With that being said, here are the issues I am facing so far,

Starting off with the main character, Long Fang. Long is a nicely portrayed character, he is aloof and confident in himself, showcasing most things a cultivator would in his case.

However, cultivation is a solitary path against the heaven's and Long's character, at least to me, fails to portray the solitariness needed for that path. He often prefers to work in a team, when a cultivator usually tends to fight alone.

And, while I understand there is a need to add more characters to flex out the story, it still somehow feels wrong to say this is cultivation done right.

Moving on, the second problem I am facing with the characters and probably the main one as well. It's the characters beliefs.

Be it the main character's or the side character's beliefs they all feel the same to me. Long, coming from a cultivation world, should have his own beliefs about the world, making him differ from the residents of this world.

Albeit, the similarities between the two worlds make it seem like they are one and the same. Especially when one is supposed to be a cultivation world where the fight for resources are big enough to betray your own family for them.

The residents of Phil's world on the other hand are divided into two categories. The goodies, and the baddies making most characters other than the main ones look bland in comparison.

 

Overall - ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

Overall, I give the story a solid 4.375 or 4.5 for the stars to fit. Long Fang is a pretty good story, making for a refreshing read. I highly recommend reading it!

Leahcim Zanathax
Overall

I am reviewing this at chapter 18.  So far, the story has been an amazing ride.  The MC, despite being the Young Master of his Sect, i.e. the Heir Apparent, he is still a caring and relatable individual.  While he is certainly confident and even cocky at times, he never reaches arrogant which I applaud!

The MC and several of the side characters have been well developed so far, though the story is still in its early stages.  The concept of a cultivator in a world with a System who himself consciously avoids gaining the System is pretty awesome.

This is well worth a read!

3DD
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Thanks for the story. This is my first review on this site. I hope it helps other readers. 
In this story most aspects of storytelling are at a high standard. A good plot with a not too outrageous starting point advantage/power. 
From Earth's history we know that people in power get corrupted and thirst for more power. This theme runs throughout this story. I'm not one fit much political content in a story but this story doesn't concentrate on this aspect. It does however, use this political fighting to form a backdrop to the MC's thoughts and motivation, as well as how it forces him to take action directly or move from 'comfortable' locations and situations. 
I like the skills and how they work with the world the MC has found himself in. 
The MC is not too OP, he gets his A kicked at times. 
The author is churning out the chapters which has led to a few word usage errors but they are only either typo's or spellcheck auto-stuffups. They don't detract from the overall experience as they are rare. I marked down the grammar rating for this. 
All aspects of life are factored into the story which some may find less interesting but the author doesn't go overboard. This results in a more rounded story. 
Read it if you like a slightly more interesting take on Stat's leveling up and different alternative skills than the usual. 
The MC is not a "Goodie", but has a conscious. He is mostly a loner but does interact with others almost normally, if a little standoffish. This is a result of his early childhood and so it makes sense he doesn't trust many people or get close to them. 
If you like weird monsters, different types of humanoids,  and crafting stories then this will suit you. 
Overall this is a rational story. I'm enjoying the journey!

Mokan
Overall

This is a fun story as long as the reader doesn't take it too seriously.  Then again, it's tagged as comedy so what did you expect?

If you're looking for a light, action-packed, cultivation story, then I absolutely recommend this series.  If you're more like me and enjoy world-building, in-depth character interactions, or less-visible plot armor, then maybe skip this one.

The plot armor isn't the worst I've ever seen, but it's pretty bad.  Some, problably most, readers might not care about strong plot armor.  But, unfortunately, I'm not one of them.

The story's not for me, but I can absolutely see it being popular with other readers.