Memories Of The Void [A Monster Evolution LitRPG]

by Mangowo

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Alec woke up in a strange place, a place that was not his room, a body that was not his own. Trapped inside the body of a demon cat, he sets out to solve the mystery of the disappearance of his very being in a strange world filled with knights and magic, swords and dragons, dungeons and monsters. 

Follow the journey of Alec, in a strange world where he seeks his own existence.

It's my first attempt writing a fiction, I got inspired by many writers on RR and finally decided to write my own. I'd accept any suggestions or criticism. 

Did I mention that there will be basic physics and chemistry? 

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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Mangowo

Mangowo

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
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Draco Non Deo
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Typical Fantasy but a Refreshing Style

Reviewed at: Chapter 10. A New Prospective

Review at Chapter 1: "So far I like it"
Overall Score: 4.5
Like the title says I like it so far and I think I will continue to like it if the author keeps publishing. Although I would like it if the Author adds chapter numbers, even if it is as simple as a number in brackets.

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Review at Chapter 10: "Typical Fantasy but a Refreshing Style"
Overall Score: 4.5
Style Score: 4.5
Story Score: 3.5
Grammar Score: 3.5
Character Score: 3.5
    First of all thanks for changing the adding the chapter numbers. I gave the style a score of 4.5 because I like the title says although the book is a typical variation on a fantasy story(which I really like), it has a refreshing style(expeshaly in chapter 10). This refreshing style is how the MC tries to apply earth physics to his new world but for some reason, the way it's done feels different.
    Next the story score, the biggest reason I gave the story a score of 3.5 is that I feel like it hasn't started yet. Like many web novels, chapter 10(ish) is where the story starts to pick up. I feel like that is the case with "Memories Of The Void" as well.
    Next is the grammar score, I gave "Memories Of The Void" 3.5 because I have no idea how good or bad the grammar is other than that its not perfect. This is because I have read a lot of web novels with really bad grammar so I have adjusted to it. I also know that at least for now the author is correcting any grammar mistakes someone points out.
    Second lastly character score, I gave it a character score of 3.5 because I feel like its hard to know(or show) a character's personality until he or she interacts with other people/not monsters. So far I like how he has adjusted to the new world.
    Lastly I have it a overall score of 4.5 mainly for two reasons the first is that I feel that the story is greater then the sum of its parts. The other reason is that I feel that the story is just starting up at chapter 10.

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I plan to update the review at chapter 20.

Witchdoctor24
Overall

This story admitably started out a little rough, but as new chapters are released the author's writing gets better and better. Mangowo pays attention to the constructive criticism in the comments and seems to internalize the advice given to him.

For example, early on he had a problem with PoV switching too often, now we have stablized down to two character's PoV and the story is much better off because of it. His dialogue structure started off rough, but in the recent chapters it is much easier to follow.

There is still much that the author needs to practice, but he seems to be putting in honest work at improving his craft.

 

As for the story itself, its a Monster evo story, "theres nothing new under the sun" is an idiom that springs to mind. However Monster Evo is a subgenre that I enjoy quite a lot, and having the MC be a cute little kitten just tickles my sensibilites, and if the author deems to read my comment, my suggestion is to keep the MC an adorable little fluff ball right up until the godhood stage of the story a la snake report.

 

This story is a bit of fresh air from all of the grim dark that I keep running into.

Pasta53
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Just four chapters in and the story got me hooked. The system opened up a wide amount possibilities and story has a nice potential. I liked the main character so far, he is cautious, sometimes silly and has a clever side too. I hope you keep it up, I can see this trending in near future. 

I'll provide a more detailed review at later chapters. 

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11 chapters in and the story got me even more hooked.

Here's the detailed review: 

First I wanna talk about the mc as he's going to be the centerpiece in the novel. There's a lot of mystery going on, in and around the mc. Author is dropping hints here and there that these events are somehow connected. I have no idea how far the author has planned but the stage is set and It'd be exciting to see how the mc is going to interact with the human society (a refreshing take from the typical non-human protag, where they are dropped inside a dungeon and have their first real human encounter much later in the story).

A refreshing take on otherwordler knowlege: 
It's my personal opinion but I really hate the introduction of modern tech in a fantasy world. When some of the stories just go like ''you know what? Screw it, have these nice guns.'' They just introduce the modern tech just because they can.

But the case here is different. 
In many stories, magitech was introduced but that field was never explored. And the way this story is heading, it would be refreshing to see how mana actually harmonises with the laws of universe. 
I don't know how author has planned the scientific reasoning behind the existence of mana, but believe me it's going to be increasingly difficult to change the definition of the very base of science and avoid the plotholes within the theories. 
As for the grammar, for a non-native english speaker, I think the author did an excellent job.


As for the story, I think it's just started, so I'll hold off my story review for later. So far, it's good!

 

Cimmerian
Overall

You can probably tell from the cover, but this is a isekai monster-cat story (the main character is a human who becomes a monster-cat). I'll keep my review basic (no advanced review) and update once the story is more developed.   

The start of the story is pretty fun.  The author is able to write without obvious grammatical issues, spelling mistakes or formatting issues. (Yes, there are some issues, but not jarringly horrible ESL nonsense).  The story is progressing and the LitRPG elements are apparent (XP, stats, racial evolutions, etc.).  And, it seems like a sidekick/co-lead character appears pretty early as well.  There have been several perspective changes already, perhaps 5% of the early story at the time of this posting, which is a bit much for me personally.  However, the story is still establishing back-stories for various supporting characters and factions, so hopefully this will tone down. 

I personally found the characters difficult; I'll include the top two, the main issue I have with each of the two main characters. 

(1) the Man-Cat doesn't freak out about being pulled away from everyone and everything he knew, including his body, nor the prospect of becoming a squishy housecat in a castle full of dead creepies.

(2) The supporting character, whom Man-Cat encounters, doesn't seem nearly shocked enough about a human trapped in a monster-cat body; it isn't clear why Man-Cat's existence suddenly took away the greif of losing his wife (leaving him) and the very recent death of his daughter, such that he wants to live again.

My honest review is 3.5 stars, but I'll add an extra half-star because this review is early and it would be unfair to prejudge the story.  (That said, I wanted to post a review for parties interested in the story.)  The author seems to care a lot about comments, which is good (authors wanting to improve their story is admirable) and problematic (reader comments can burn out an author).

I encourage people to read this story; decide for yourself it you enjoy it.

Shield_Guy9991
Overall

So far so good.

There are no glaring problems with the grammar that will stop you from reading.

The premise or plot of the story is not unique there are similar stories like this one but it has its unique quirks. With good potential, I hope the future chapters will not waste the story. 

As still in the early chapters it fills me with excitement what the updates hold.

 

 

Dragon G'lant
Overall

As stated in the title, it reminds me of Chrysalis by RinoZ.

I don't remember which chapter for this novel it is, but the one with the low rank soldiers complaining about doing all the work reminds me heavily of Chrysalis' "Juniors are for light duties" chapter.

I'm not gonna say you plagarised, despite the uncomfortable resemblence between the chapters, since you've clearly put your own twist on a popular story genre, same as anyone else.

Now that part of the review might make people think badly of the novel or author so I will say that, just like Chrysalis, this is a great story.

The MC is refreshing, since proper calculative and studious characters are typically poorly done.

In simple words, character isn't 2D and his quirks certainly make him seem like a normal person.

The other characters so far have distinct personalities.

Not much worldbuilding so far but then again, the mc hasn't been able to leave the starting area, so that's to be expected.

The vocabulary used for the novel isn't over the top and it doesn't get repetitive or boring.

So far the only thing I feel doubtful about is how the system is setup. Gotta make sure your math is right or logic will fly out the window and plotholes will appear by the dozen.

 

TLDR: It's a great novel that takes inspiration from other great novels. Looking forward to both future chapters and how the author will make the story grow.

Kevin Aster
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Local man turns into a cat, goes on a monster evolution journey with plenty of comedic moments and action-packed fights against foes to gain power.

Style - Third person perspective. Focuses a lot on the dialogue which isn’t a bad or good thing but up to personal taste. Shows levels and stats in a nice-to-look-at green section. The story does shift between perspectives of the characters, but thankfully the author notes when this happens with bold centred text. The huge RR tables however are a bit awkward to read.

Story - Slow-burner LitRPG. Has levelling, skills, and monster evolution but has a few pacing issues. Most of the story is the dialogue between the characters which lets loose all of its lore through some quite awkward conversations of things they would know or wouldn’t sit down to explain all at once.

Grammar - Couldn’t find any errors, though it seems they have been helped out beforehand to get rid of some of those. There was at least not enough for me to notice.

Character - Chatterboxes who counter one another well enough to not feel overdone. There’s a good amount of back and forth between the characters we have so far, with quips and jokes thrown around as well as lore dumps. The protag can be annoying at times, not alert or smart, but that isn’t much of a detriment as a personality quirk, but can get grating at times.

Uppish
Overall

A LOT of work to be done.

Reviewed at: Chapter 17. Sweet Dreams

     The story is honestly really good, a guy dies and is reborn as a kitten on a pedestal. He runs around the castle that he was spawned in and fights a crap ton of giant centipedes. I would have rated it higher, however there is a bunch of grammar and spelling mistakes in every chapter. That makes sense since the author does not speak english as his main language. I suggest to the author to find someone willing to help him fix his grammar and spelling mistakes. Other than that, the story is really good and I look forward to seeing it progress in the future.

crazy_dwarf
Overall

This is a story about a human who turned into a small demon cat

As you might expect there is a system ,magic and an op protagonist the whole classic shabeng 

As the concept has already been done you can only judge it by the execution

I think the writer did a good job. only complaint I can make is that the first couple chapters feel fragmented.

Mr Fuzzknuckle
Overall

A slow buildup, but a nice intellectual Isekai.

Reviewed at: Chapter 26. Lucid Dream

I'm currently a big fan of isekai stories, especially non-human MC variants.  

This series revolves around a college student that gets inexplicably isekai'ed into that of a very unique demonic/dimensional cat creature.  The story is LitRPG, but one of those without an AI helpdesk bot.  He's stuck in a strange realm, with no idea how or why he's there or why he's a cat now, and he's left to explore this dangerous world alone.

There are other humans in this world, and several of them start to fill in the background and provide a useful source for worldbuilding.  (There's a good amount of POV shifts to human characters at times, which can be a bit jarring if you're not paying attention to the paragraph headers.)  I can see (26 chapters in now) the potential for plenty of human-related drama that could wash over our little feline protagonist as the story progresses.

As my review title suggests, the character is a bit of a science geek.  One can easily imagine he was an exemplary student in college, focusing on science (primarily biology and chemistry that he's showed off so far).  If he'd stayed on earth he'd have made for an excellent professor, as he loves to share his scientific theories and mental approaches to the world.  It doesn't get bogged down in LitRPG math progression like "Delve" (I do love Delve very much, don't get me wrong!), so non-munchkins should have no fear.

All in all, an amazing series so far.  I look forward to seeing how far this poor fellow can go in this world, and indeed to see what the world holds in store to sate his curiosity!