Trojan Nightmare (Jake's Story)

by BlaiseCorvin

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

The earth has been overrun with monsters.  Post-Purple Rain America is unrecognizable from the past.  Jake is an adventurer, a leader of an adventuring team.  A former mage, now he follows the strange path of cultivation.  As far as he knows, he is one of the only people on earth who have stepped onto this path.

Events will unfold that change Jake's life forever.  He is about to be caught up in something much bigger than himself, but one thing Jake is really bad at is giving up.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
  • Total Views :
  • 16,440
  • Average Views :
  • 1,096
  • Followers :
  • 534
  • Favorites :
  • 87
  • Ratings :
  • 90
  • Pages :
  • 161
Advertisement
Remove
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Fiction breaking rules? Report
Advertisement
Remove
Author
BlaiseCorvin

BlaiseCorvin

Achievements
15 Comments
500 Followers
Word Smith (VI)
10,000 Views
Top List #1000
Advertisement
Remove

Leave a review

drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
Sort by:
Sakage
Overall

good premise so far

Reviewed at: Chapter 4

story toy's with the idea of a "demonic" cultivator who is not actually a bad guy. will be interesting to see how the world evolves and how jake makes his way through the challenges he will be facing. obviously if you like any of blaise's other work, you are probably going to enjoy this too.

Fatangry
Overall

Initial Impression is 'interesting'

Reviewed at: Chapter 6

At first my impression of the story was 'oh just another party based adventuerer\growth story' (honestly a slightly boring one, sorry author) then it changed and things went to hell, literally. My thought was 'ok that looks like fun, an overpowered rampaging monster story' and now it's becoming something else again. I will be very interested to see where this goes from here.

Writing is good, clean and definitly readable. Nothing seems too out of place so far.

Final thought is it's a very readable story with an interesting premise so far, in my opinion worth a follow.

JHawk55
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Come For The Blurb, Stay For The Story

Reviewed at: Chapter 8

I'm leaving this review pretty early on, but this story is qutie good so far. There are mutliple plot hooks before chapter 8, where I wrote this review, so read at least past 8 to get a feel for where the story is going before you decide to keep reading or move on. 

Style: 4.5/5

The author's style is not groundbreaking, but it works well and the attention to detail when showing instead of telling is really nice. The last few chapters before this review I've really been able to understand what the MC has been going through despite never having experienced what he's going through, and it's surprisingly fun given the morbidity of the situation. The half star has been taken off because there was a bit in chapter 5 where I felt like the writing was making the story feel monotous, but this is a first draft and I haven't feel that anywhere else. 

Story: 5/5

The premise combines a bunch of well-done componenets of great RR stories, and it does so in a new manner. I'm actually looking forward to seeing where the author goes with it.

Grammar: 5/5

So far I've only had two instances where I had to stop and re-read anything. The flow is well controlled and only homophones seem to pose problems to the author.

Character: 5/5

I like the difference characters that we've seen so far. Smith in particular stuck out as perfectly fitting and unexaggerated. The other Mice seemed pretty distinct as well, and evne though we've only had a few chapters so far, some of them have already seen character growth. 

sevensavethepost
Overall

As of Ch. 6 the story has been a continuous stream of set piece battles. But the absense of any sort of system or game mechanics also means there's never really any explanation for how any of it works.

Hard to tell if that's good or bad though, because Ch. 6 is only just getting to the point of explaining more about the world to show us if there's any substance behind the fights.

If you really like Wuxia style writing but get tired of them taking place in Ancient China, it's probably worth keeping an eye on this one.

 

Lance Wheeler
Overall

This story has surprised me again and again with the direction it is moving. Really enjoying the surprises and the flow.
Strong character development and a great story line are pulling me into the story and the world being explained around the MC.  The MC is fumbling along quite entertainingly and is easily likeable. 
My only gripe is a small one. Need chapters faster!

 

nathanv70
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Very Promising Start

Reviewed at: Chapter 13

AS OF CHAPTER 13 - (ALSO AN AVID READER OF THIS AUTHOR'S BOOKS ON AMAZON)

Overall - 5 stars - I am loving this book! Fantastic take on magic apocalypse and a very nice twist on the 'turn back the clock' trope.

Style - Again, it is a 'turn back the clock' trope but very well done on the cultivation/magic underpinnings that are slowly being revealed. The author does make a lot of assumptions on how much you as the reader know about xianxia/cultivation/fantasy systems/tropes. I do love what the author is doing, my recommendation going forward (and yes I understand we're only 14 chapters in) is to continue to work in a bit more knowledge or understandings of 'cultivation ranks' for the new reader.

Grammar - great grammar and only a few mispellings that will shake out with a spellcheck or an editor. Overall, very well done so far.

Story Score - I LOVE THIS THE MOST! Fantastic twists with the MC being malevolently reborn as a zombie with the option to upgrade (please don't make it too op!). The initial weaknesses of being undead really add to the grip/hook on your mind. 

Character score - I like the character, but as a reader of the author's books, this character seems like Jason but in another situation. (Don't get me wrong, I like Jason) but I think there has to be a way to further separate the body of works that have been created.

MESSAGE FOR THE AUTHOR - Keep up the good work, I mean everything I say with the best of intentions and hope you produce a best seller ( I will probably buy your book just like I buy all your Ludus books).