Apocalypse Cultivation (Jake's Story)

by BlaiseCorvin

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

The earth has been overrun with monsters.  Post-Purple Rain America is unrecognizable from the past.  Jake is an adventurer, a leader of an adventuring team.  A former mage, now he follows the strange path of cultivation.  As far as he knows, he is one of the only people on earth who have stepped onto this path.

Events will unfold that change Jake's life forever.  He is about to be caught up in something much bigger than himself, but one thing Jake is really bad at is giving up.

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  • Grammar Score
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BlaiseCorvin

BlaiseCorvin

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Sakage
Overall

good premise so far

Reviewed at: Chapter 4

story toy's with the idea of a "demonic" cultivator who is not actually a bad guy. will be interesting to see how the world evolves and how jake makes his way through the challenges he will be facing. obviously if you like any of blaise's other work, you are probably going to enjoy this too.

CasualDarkSouls
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Mostly solid (with a bit too much plot armor)

Reviewed at: Chapter 15

Basically a mage, turned cultivator, turned demon cultivator who fights and fights and fights... and it ends badly, then gets another chance to change things.

The fights and world building are decent, the pacing is pretty good, MC is likable and not overly bland, and the cultivation is there.  If you like all that you should give it a try.

Now I am going to be a bit harsh as this story is fairly good, but with some fixes could be actually great.

The overall story is quite well written.  However while he isn't a gary stu, there is quite a bit of plot armor (details below).  Again, I want to emphasise author does a good job making him average but very resourceful.  However the number of lucky breaks this guy gets is bordering on the absurd and he never really has much of a set back. 

The one exception and where he goes full gary stu is his resoursefulness when questioning op characters and a few other moments (details below).

The plot is mostly exciting and fast paced withoit being over the top but has a few issues. (Details below), however a few plot holes have been bugging me.

Characters, (well there really is just 1 currently) are mostly likable.  The biggest flaw is he doesn't seem to have emotions, like at all. (Again details below). I know there is a throw away line like "if you get emotional you didn't survive the purple rain" but that is not how emotions work. People feel them them, they push them away and act/work anyway, then have to deal with them later.

Grammar, good

Details

So the three issues, plot armor, lack of emotion, and minor plot holes.

The biggest issue is the plot armor.  He finds the cave just in time, he learns to cultivate hell energy just in time, he saves himself by ducking the last attack just in time, he uses an attack he never tried before and pulls it off just in time.... (I can go on like knowing what to do with the devil, not losing his mind to the rain, a lake to run into... They really don't stop)

Almost as bad is him "knowing" random details just in time like talking to the devil, morgana, or even the dungeon's name.

The solution to this is actually quite easy and will help with the emotion. Just add in SERIOUS set backs and doubt. (Not falling down a mountain and getting immidately healed)

In hell give a few times where he gets hurt (part of his foot, a few fingers, an eye etc) and he pulls back and nearly succumbs to the pain, frustration and dispair currling up on the floor.. then slowly pushing the pain crushing his heart down the darkness out, burrying it, focusing his thoughts on the rage and goes out to fight again. This can be done when they debate being drafted, when he is being turned to a monster despite finally getting a second chance (that should have really broken him)... Etc.  Makes him feel tragic hero not a uncaring iron man.

The second character fix would be making him doubt and think through his conversations with the gods.  Like think through 2-3 dialogue options and then pick one, not just 'know' how to deal with one.  

Also studying and memorizing all the dungeons (bit o gary stu there)?  Just say his friend found this one, got screwed over, and used to complain about it incessantly. 

Finally the minor plot holes. He sends out texts while struggling with his hands.  How does he have all these people's contact info? Why do people pay attention to these random account's texts/email?  There has apparently only been a day or two so there hasn't been a lot of time to prove him right.  Some explination like he didn't habe much hope of it working, but feeling he had to try and one of the people he emailed was a reporter he had come to know who just happened to notice his email amd he really pushed it out would have helped.

Finally why couldn't he warn his family?  If they were murdered by a random band, tell them to get lots of guns and ammo. If it was a powerful monster, tell them to get out of there. I am not saying there can't be a reason for him to have to go, but we need a better explination.

Again, this is a good story, but I think it only needs a few tweaks and then it will be a GREAT story.  Regardless, it will be on my follows.

JHawk55
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Come For The Blurb, Stay For The Story

Reviewed at: Chapter 8

I'm leaving this review pretty early on, but this story is qutie good so far. There are mutliple plot hooks before chapter 8, where I wrote this review, so read at least past 8 to get a feel for where the story is going before you decide to keep reading or move on. 

Style: 4.5/5

The author's style is not groundbreaking, but it works well and the attention to detail when showing instead of telling is really nice. The last few chapters before this review I've really been able to understand what the MC has been going through despite never having experienced what he's going through, and it's surprisingly fun given the morbidity of the situation. The half star has been taken off because there was a bit in chapter 5 where I felt like the writing was making the story feel monotous, but this is a first draft and I haven't feel that anywhere else. 

Story: 5/5

The premise combines a bunch of well-done componenets of great RR stories, and it does so in a new manner. I'm actually looking forward to seeing where the author goes with it.

Grammar: 5/5

So far I've only had two instances where I had to stop and re-read anything. The flow is well controlled and only homophones seem to pose problems to the author.

Character: 5/5

I like the difference characters that we've seen so far. Smith in particular stuck out as perfectly fitting and unexaggerated. The other Mice seemed pretty distinct as well, and evne though we've only had a few chapters so far, some of them have already seen character growth. 

Lance Wheeler
Overall

This story has surprised me again and again with the direction it is moving. Really enjoying the surprises and the flow.
Strong character development and a great story line are pulling me into the story and the world being explained around the MC.  The MC is fumbling along quite entertainingly and is easily likeable. 
My only gripe is a small one. Need chapters faster!

 

Fatangry
Overall

Initial Impression is 'interesting'

Reviewed at: Chapter 6

At first my impression of the story was 'oh just another party based adventuerer\growth story' (honestly a slightly boring one, sorry author) then it changed and things went to hell, literally. My thought was 'ok that looks like fun, an overpowered rampaging monster story' and now it's becoming something else again. I will be very interested to see where this goes from here.

Writing is good, clean and definitly readable. Nothing seems too out of place so far.

Final thought is it's a very readable story with an interesting premise so far, in my opinion worth a follow.

Bragi Gautrsson
Overall

A quality fast paced Cultivation Apocalypse story!

Reviewed at: Chapter 17

Trojan Nightmare develops quickly into an action-centric cultivation story.

The first few chapters do a great job introducing the MC and his motivations, as well as his barriers for progression. This quickly changes, and through some clever plot twists shifts his progression into an entirely different system.

{I'm intentionally avoiding spoilers as this is very much worth the read and recommendation to any who enjoy apocalypse novels.}

I do have to say that there is a pretty common theme of the MC attempting to become a savior to young women, who all seem about to be violated by a multitude of sex offenders, but given the apocalypse has just happened, I am willing to put that down to "the horrors of mankind" and move on.

I am hoping however that as the story progresses, more interesting evildoers within the human sphere come to the fore. This may happen with the most recent introduction of gangs to the narrative, but I'm beginning to wonder.

The writing is on point, with very few syntax errors or grammatical flaws. And the persepctive is maintained well enough that you can readily suspend disbelief in favor of enjoying the plot.

Well done to the Author, and I hope to keep reading more in the future.

nathanv70
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Very Promising Start

Reviewed at: Chapter 13

AS OF CHAPTER 13 - (ALSO AN AVID READER OF THIS AUTHOR'S BOOKS ON AMAZON)

Overall - 5 stars - I am loving this book! Fantastic take on magic apocalypse and a very nice twist on the 'turn back the clock' trope.

Style - Again, it is a 'turn back the clock' trope but very well done on the cultivation/magic underpinnings that are slowly being revealed. The author does make a lot of assumptions on how much you as the reader know about xianxia/cultivation/fantasy systems/tropes. I do love what the author is doing, my recommendation going forward (and yes I understand we're only 14 chapters in) is to continue to work in a bit more knowledge or understandings of 'cultivation ranks' for the new reader.

Grammar - great grammar and only a few mispellings that will shake out with a spellcheck or an editor. Overall, very well done so far.

Story Score - I LOVE THIS THE MOST! Fantastic twists with the MC being malevolently reborn as a zombie with the option to upgrade (please don't make it too op!). The initial weaknesses of being undead really add to the grip/hook on your mind. 

Character score - I like the character, but as a reader of the author's books, this character seems like Jason but in another situation. (Don't get me wrong, I like Jason) but I think there has to be a way to further separate the body of works that have been created.

MESSAGE FOR THE AUTHOR - Keep up the good work, I mean everything I say with the best of intentions and hope you produce a best seller ( I will probably buy your book just like I buy all your Ludus books). 

sevensavethepost
Overall

As of Ch. 6 the story has been a continuous stream of set piece battles. But the absense of any sort of system or game mechanics also means there's never really any explanation for how any of it works.

Hard to tell if that's good or bad though, because Ch. 6 is only just getting to the point of explaining more about the world to show us if there's any substance behind the fights.

If you really like Wuxia style writing but get tired of them taking place in Ancient China, it's probably worth keeping an eye on this one.

 

kao
Overall

Blaise is Back!!

Reviewed at: Chapter 19

This story is a bit of a ride. There are some ups and downs and all around. 

Not too spoilery, I hope:


You get your world apocalypse, there are suvivors and our MC is one of them. And then he doesn't. 

For the more 'wiser' webnovel readers, let me give you some perspective as to what to expect:
anime : "Kore wa Zonbi Desu ka?" need I say more? Probably. But too much would spoil things for you.

Enjoy the ride. I know I will.

Welcome back Blaise! 

 

Matteas
Overall

excellent start to a new series

Reviewed at: Chapter 17

loving Blaise's version of a time reset and monster evolution story - looking forward to this developing and its going very well so far, after finishing the content on royal road i simply had to join Patreon just to get a few more chapters in.  This will certainly be on my list of stories i am eagerly awaiting new chapters to be published.