After transmigrating and getting the whole deal of benefits: a class, a subclass, and even a System, Severin was ready to set out and conquer the world.
If only he wasn’t stranded in the middle of nowhere. And if only he was able to leave this small wooden hut.
“Well, if I can’t leave, then I’ll better make sure others come to me!”
**Cover provided by RR user gej302**
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Its a actually quite a fun little premise, but its a first try at writting and clearly shows how inexperienced the author is.
The characters are flat and very one dimensional, their motivations are overly simple, and they're not particularly clever at how they deal with problems.
That is made worse by how overly "videogamey" the litrpg aspect is, making it so this might as well be VRMMO and not Isekai given how the whole wordbuilding and societal aspect are basically what you'd expect from an MMO and not a fantasy world.
The sentence structure and flow are not great either, bunch of jarring jumps from perspective to perspective with no clear breaks, mixed in with run on sentences that overexplain everything because the author doesn't know how to link them with wordbuilding or how to write his characters in a way where they are capable of figuring stuff out by themselves.
Overall, it reads like a translation of a bog standart japanese light novel, a good translation mind you, this is very much readable and enjoyable if you can look over its faults.
Its an interesting idea, if the author sticks with it and rewrites it once he is more familiar with writting, this might become a really great novel. But right now... its mediocre at best.
Grammar and pace are okay. Flow and length of chapters are also okay. All the non-MC characters? Okay developments so far.
The MC however, feels like an NPC stuck in tiny empty shop in the middle of no-where. This leads us to one of the problems with this story - the MC-NPC is stuck in a boring space. I understand that the “shop” has to level up with the MC, and a level 1 shop keeper is going to have a level one shop…but by limiting the MC-NPC to the shop, you get a kind of a boring experience.
The rest of the story outside of the shop - a Solid okay.
Now, I do like the antagonistic relationship between the MC-NPC and the “Shop-System(SS)”, but at the same time the SS also feels like a Macguffin (or is the MC-NPC the Macguffin and the SS the MC…?)
This is quite the unique take on the litRPG genre as a whole, especially because the mc almost never, ever, fights. Generally, a chill, but nice, story about someone getting better at being a merchant and getting better at crafting. Additionally, the side characters add a lot about the world, and it is nice to see things as a dialogue instead of being there. Another unique quirk of this book. :D
read the whole story in one go during university lessons :P so that speaks for itself xD keep up the work and maybe shorter times between chapter releases - so far i saw 4 days between xD hehe
All in all the story is good structured and there are some ways to expand the characters but that all depends on what kind of story it should and which kind of people should read it - so for this kind of publicum which is mostly here - it's amazing
Fascinating fun, seeing an adventure world through the eyes of an NPC. An isekai where the hero, well, isn't. Despite the seeming mundanity of the protagonist's role, I find myself on the edge of my seat, eager to see what develops next, and what new skills the protagonist uncovers.
I read it. Its readable. Did I like it?
I'm honestly not sure. It's different. I myself can't imagine writing this story concept, but the author does a good job. How to describe it? Imagine you wanted to read about the life of NPC as the system works him like a slave laborer, trapped inside, unable to do much but endlessly grind materials provided into potions with set prices. Give the NPC only a tiny amount of control over anything, mostly on how to spend profits on a Sims style expansion to his prison. Then, pepper that sad story with random backstories of the customers coming in and acting all impressed by the useful items that are helpful towards their lives as RPG (Think WoW or Diablo) characters, with cool downs and item slot limits etc.
Is it good? Ah, sure. It'd recommend you read it because it's kind of weird and makes you feel sorry for the poor MC. I just hope that once he upgrades to "flying", and gets enough employees, the shopkeeper might actually find enjoyment in his life, beyond the vague hope of eventually getting a nice bed and enough time to sleep.
In conclusion, I think this novel is meant to be funny, and you might chuckle reading it... But for me I think its mostly impressive for being able to take the NPC shopkeeper's story and make it interesting, if a bit depressing.
It's a good start, a good premise, but it just... doesn't seem to be going anywhere. At least not anywhere any time soon.
It starts out with a guy on a mountain in a shop. And there's a magic system! And interesting things are happening in this shop with the magic system! At chapter ten we're still with the guy on a mountain in a shop with interesting things happening to the magic system. And at chapter twenty we're... with the guy and his few customers on the mountain... and the magic system is still doing interesting things...
We get a few chapters with the customers who are using things bought in the shop, and those are some of the most interesting chapters. We get to hear about their lives and what they're doing through in-store chit-chat, and frankly I kinda wish we were following them instead. Not that figuring out exactly what percentage of each sale is going to our brave protagonist isn't interesting, but... There's a wide world out there that the author has hinted at, and we (along with the protagonist, granted) barely see any of it.
Style: Good. Kind of headhopping third limited pov, but it isn't too confusing. Once you figure out that the author uses ' for inner dialouge and " for spoken, you're golden.
Grammar: No complaints in that department lol
Story: There's nothing strictly wrong with it, it's just slightly repetitive. The author tends to end chapters with mild cliffhangers, things like "he looked down and cheered for joy at what he saw", and then the next chapter might not tell you what he's seeing for a couple paragraphs, or else will turn out to be something less than interesting.
The only plot hole is the fact that these people apparently never eat or poop. On the one hand, it can be handwaved as something the author simply doesn't feel like writing. On the other, everything else is explained in minute detail, soooo
I love the characters!
Samuel is apparently so high-level he's basically a god, and his two apprentices are fun to watch as they learn. They mostly train, but the real battles they participate in sound fascinating.
And Xander is a fun character, trying his best to fit in with a new group, brash and overconfident as hell...
I wish we follwed them.
Instead, we follow Severin, whose main concern is getting enough money to buy a decent bed.
As of chapter 26, it looks like something fascinating is about to happen with Samuel and Xander and everyone else... but we won't be able to see it. Because we're following Severin, who is stuck in the shop at the top of the mountain, and is overall not very interesting.
...And maybe that's the point. Maybe the author wants us to feel trapped with him, in which case I applaud the flawless execution.
It might sound like I dislike this story. I don't, I quite enjoy it really. I just suspect that at chapter thirty we'll be with the same guy at the top of the mountain with his fascinating magic system, at chapter forty we'll be with the guy at the top of the mountain, and at chapter fifty we'll still be at the top of the mountain. I'll probably still be reading, because it's interesting enough, but this isn't one of the stories I'll be waiting with baited breath for each next chapter.
ORIGINAL REVIEW - This story is basically a dungeon core story with the exception that the dungeon core is a shop keeper. Or maybe he isn't the dungeon core replacement and there actually is a dungeon core somewhere down the timeline. The MC's system is very similar to how dungeon cores are portrayed.
From my point of view, the MC is petulant, arrogant, quick tempered and lazy in certain aspects. Despite the MC being such a downer for me, I like the story overall. This is more like a vaudeville skit than a thought provoking piece of literature. The biggest issue I have with the story is the constant and incessant teasers and cliffhangers. As a binge read, it's tolerable. As a serial, it's probably going to kill my enjoyment of the story.
UPDATE March 8, 2022: almost two months later and I am still enjoying the story despite the short chapters and abrupt scene ends. I have upgraded my rating half a star for my continued appreciation and general enjoyment.
UPDATE June 18, 2022: The comedy eventually became old hat for me. I wanted something new and while it happened, it was in the same vein. What I wanted was a bit more evolution of the characters and expecially the plot. What I read was more misunderstanding and less attempts at effective communication. I just became bored. Since I rate on personal enjoyment, I have subtracted the half star that was added last update.
Sort of a nitch genera magical shop stories.
This one is done fairly well in a tightly focused way, It's the shop, the shop, and nothing bit the shop. Which is good and has it's moments if you like the genera.
Something I said in a comment much earlier is that it never gets old S-class adventurers losing their cool confronted by SSS-class merchandise.
The characters are pretty good in a friendly sort of generic fantasy story way. The general world building however is basically non-existent beyond the edge of the shop, place names at best stage left out of sight so far.
Worth a read but it is very slow base building, crafting, slice of life, and one running gag. I hope the author branches out to show off more of the world, but that organically should take another 100-150 chapters.
Premise: Severin finds himself imprisoned in a magical shop on top of a floating mountain/island, the only way to improve his living conditions to level up his shop through selling items--alchemical concotions, to start. The ingredients and recipes are provided by the system, and of course create super-impressive potions for super-low prices, astounding anyone who manages to visit.
This story is slow-paced, which other reviewers have complained about, and it can be frustrating when you read only a chapter at a time, but the slice-of-life pace is a feature, not a bug. It reads kind of like an asian webnovel, which can run for many hundreds of chapters. It's a relaxing read with a cyclical, slowly expanding flow of events, not for someone looking for action and adventure, ultra-deep characters, or philosophy.
But I find myself looking forward to new chapters.
Style: This is told mostly from Severin's POV, with the occaisional delve into another character's POV. It's somewhat repetitive, with new people finding the shop (or a newly released item in the shop) and being amazed by its properties, while the MC slowly buys improvements for himself and the shop.
Grammar: This could use some work. I believe English is not the author's first language? There is the occaisional spelling mistake, but most issues are with style and grammar. Sometimes the wrong word is used in a way that makes the sentence sound awkward in English, some puncutation (m--dashes (long) vs n-dashes (short)) being incorrectly used, for example, and problems with paragraphs and spacing. (Dialogue should align with action for a single character in the same paragraph, for instance. Different character doing the action, new paragarph.) It gets slightly better as chapters progress, but is far from perfect.
Being generous since it doesn't quite seem like pure sloppiness, but more that the author is still learning, I'm able to look past this to enjoy the story. I've seen worse on RR, by far. I am the type to get so annoyed by text errors that I stop reading an otherwise engaging story, but that hasn't happened with this one.
Story: 4 out of 5, it's quite enjoyable as long as you actually like this kind of story. As I said above, it's focused around the shop itself, and our MC slowly leveling up subclasses as a crafter and the main class as the shopkeep. It's very slow paced but steady, with no sudden increases or decreases in pace. It's repetitive and cyclical in nature, with new items being released, new people coming to the shop, the MC expanding what accomodations he can afford--all of this growing ever-larger but not really more epic or adventuresome.
Character: None of these characters are super deep, but they're not as shallow as I've seen in similar stories, either. Our MC Severin throws a lot of small, internal tantrums at the System screwing him over, which might irritate some people, but didn't bother me. He's actually a rather tenacious negotiator when that option is available, but not particularly a deep thinker or the kind of person to munchkin the System. Side characters aren't 100% stereotypes, and do seem like people, but almost as if seen at a distance, through a window. Most side character interactions revolve around the whole premise of the story: the shop. The story isn't focused on characterization.
TL;DR: Don't go into it expecting something it's not. If you like this kind of business-management, progression focused story for an entertaining, relaxing read, this is a good option and scratches an itch that's hard to find done even relatively well elsewhere.
It is fun, and I hope to see a lot more of it.