A Girl's, Unusual Existence

A Girl's, Unusual Existence

by esliesma

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore

From a similar but parallel Earth, Ame, a former scientist suddenly finds herself reborn in the world of Sen. Much to her dismay she is thrust into an illogical world full of "Energy" or better known as "Qi." A world full of flying warriors and powerful Clans/Sects or legendary monsters and immortal beings only being the tip of the iceberg. Who will triumph in the end?

[Please support author, Me, by buying the 1st draft novel on Amazon or donating to my patron. https://www.patreon.com/posts/8642910  ]  (Art belongs to original creator.)

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  • Pages :
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esliesma

esliesma

Meep

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Neydomus
Overall

Read it all, love it all, waiting for more

i loved reading this, so i will simply say thank you for writing this, and hope you continue to do so.

 

P.S. i saw some 'twat' says the story got ruined at chapter 24... well dont worry, i myself sorta believed him and read with a heart full of worry, but when i reached that chapter i really wanted to punch that 'twat' for making me imagine all sorts of bad stuffs (like NTR and such) only to not find anything bad.

so yeah anyone who sees this guy "axl" punch him for me please.

 

EDIT: and thus comes the feared rewrite... not much to say really, just that the old version is gone, so... my oh so detailed and accurate review might not be so accurate anymore.

well its only 2 chapters for now, and i dont see a reason to lower my score, so ill continue waiting, after more chapters are out i will see if i remember to edit this once more.

EDIT2: well more chapter are out, but also the dreaded announcemnt. so yeah. ill give it 4 solid stars because it was indeed fcking awesome. but -1 star because its dropped a second fcking time. yeah, no bonus points for that, sry author-i-dont-know-the-name-of-nor-do-i-fucking-care.

call me hostile if you want, but if its dropped just like that and an announcment is made only 6months later it shows your lack of care. not to mention yet ANOTHER rewrite with different settings... makes me wonder why did i even bother reading this...

so 3 stars.

 

EDIT3: really, i mean REALLY! so now its unquestionably dropped. sort of anyway, apparently there will be a new one made in a modern setting, no idea how like this will it be, nor do i really care at this point.
i was really patient with this one, and i mean REALLY patient. fuck, the first time i found this was years ago, and i still stayed faithfull till this day and waited for updates, even after the fucking rewrites! well no more, this is already dead beyond dead, the author obviously treats writing as a pass of time, if theres no dedication from him, that means we dont have to dedicante ourselves to his work.
i'd like to be petty and give this .5 stars, if for no reason than my current mood, but that would be too petty for my standarts, so ill leave this at 2.5 stars. i mean its readable, but no story is good withouth and ending.
peace out, and bye.

AnarchyDev
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Look out! A Mad scientist in the Cultivation World...

An Unique perspective into the working mind of a Quirky Female Lead who was considered to be a Mad Scientist, but still a Genius. Now what would happen, if that said person is reborn in a Cultivation World where the lack of logic and Scientific Laws are just said to be the Gift from the Heavens? 

 

All Hell along with the Heaven breaks loose here in this story when the MC starts to Question everything and try to find the Inner Workings of all and seemingly Succeeds in it. From Modern earth Culinary  food to Video calling is rediscovered with the help of Qi and Cores...

 

So basically the MC is definitely an interesting character with a "Unique" personality. The other side characters are also well developed with their own personalities and also a good background story. But still a lot can be improved since the main focus here is the MC who obviously tries to manipulate everyone and hence there's less suspense in them, but still the interaction are humorous if not repeated somewhere...

 

The style is also something to be more desired since the focus is the MC, we get a lot less World Building. The world around the MC is hard to imagine and if it does gets described then it's some sort of info dump. Also the thinking process of the MC is somewhat vague or a sense of Mystery when the actions are performed by her, so there is less explanation for her actions and the process is skipped, but later on it gets revealed, so that's the Mystery part I guess. But since the story with focus to her, hope more of her actions gets know prior to doing... 

 

The story is something to be desired here, as all the actions till now are on the fly actions... The MC end goal also seems vague, with somewhere in between desiring wealth and power... But all the chapters till now are really enjoyable either they be her antics, her thinking, her insights, her power up... Yup she definitely has a great Power Upto OPness... 

 

Grammer in terms of readbility and understanding is Great, but if in terms of no mistakes at all then single PR would get rid of those small errors by some software... 

 

Finally, this story is definitely a unique one with a unique perspective. Everything a story requires can be seen here; well romance is something that cannot be expected by a Mad scientist, but definitely worth it she done right XD Well that's just me asking if possible at all, but with her personality they(Yes they, he or she who cares here) definitely must be the most Unique Specimen. 

 

P. S If you like OP Mc who is destined to Rule All or to be Hunted by All, then this is definitely for you. 

tienunreal
Overall

This story borrows a lot from xianxia/wuxia style stories, however with characters more reminiscent of a lightnovel. Everything is great so far, but just like with your other story I think you could really flesh out the world. For instance when MC leaves home to go to school I did not really grasp setting-wise how much she traveled, where, and what that would mean. In fact, I would say even the chapters at home don't give much sense of place. However despite all this it is a very enjoyable story and probably the best active one on this site imo.

patlican
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This is a decent story and the fact that it has different and fresh elements when compared to most stories here is a plus for me. Female MC with distinguished traits is a rare thing to see in stories on this site.

 

Your style and story is generally good.

 

Grammar is decent though some repeated mistakes really tickle me the wrong way. The COMMAs. Please, please learn to use commas. People generally do not use enough of them but you use too much, which is just as bad. It completely breaks the flow of the writing. This is something that you can learn that would improve your writing a lot. (Even the title has a misused comma in it.) Also, learn when to and not to use the apostrophe. You keep using it when you should not, too.

 

Characters, aside from the MC, leave a lot to be desired. At least they are not completely unreal and they never get much focus either so we can just say ‘they are OK’ and move on.

tyrande1231
Overall
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Story
Grammar
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Have read up to chap 17

Style – Reading everything is smooth imo

Story – Nothing much to say yet. Still at a world building and introductory phase.

Grammar – Haven’t seen a grammar mistakes at all. Comma and etc.

Character – Have introduce only atleast 11 char i think or something close to that. But only 3 character are mainly showed(yet). No irritating(irrationally annoyingly stupid) character.

[Have lots of potential, Hoping for more update]

As a reader(leecher) of many more rrl,xianxia,wuxia fics i recommend it for you guys to give it a try.

[Normal Length per Chap]

[Fast Update]

[Humorous]

Raizeljr
Overall
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Character

I just found this fic and angry to myself, why I didn’t find this fic sooner..

This is really interesting, the main MC and her thought of the world are exciting to read and I find it really fit for my taste..

I would like to re-read it again if I don’t find any new chapter..

Hope the author keep give us the next chapter for my curious mind.. hehe

P.S I love if the main MC is female

Jormungand
Overall
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Heii there ^_^ 

honestly i was upset you end land of athlora and write new story... however

after i read this.. i change my mind... this is much better.

You as an author really change in this story.. not really dark but the MC has a strong character....

and you update really fast!!! i bet you are happy with this story = )

I hope you dont end it fast also hahahaha..

Cant wait for your next chapt!

 

jacobpaige
Overall
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I made it to chapter 42 before giving up on this series. Its somewhat better written than your average OP wankfest, but its clear that the author doesn't really have a goal for the series and that tends to create plot holes, logical inconsistencies and hanging plot threads. The author also doesn't seem to have an interest in improving if the abuse of puncutuation and misuse of vocabulary, in spite of multiple reviews pointing the problem out, are anything to go by. Its not as bad as many of the series on this site, but I favor those looking to improve their flaws over those that expect you to ignore them.

pixel_dragonov
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Dear Overlord,

 

This lowly one has been silently reading your stories since you first began. I was quite impressed how you managed to manipulate so many tropes without coming off as overly-cliche, and even managed to create a flavor unique to your own. Truth be told, I enjoyed your stories even more than thousands of chapters of repetitive xianxia amd wuxia. You had given us not only an interesting main character, you had also graced us with supporting characters with the life I never found in all those xianxias and wuxias. At this point, oh Overlord, you know now where I am going.

This story for me had been an oasis from all the macabre pieces that I read, it served as a sanctuary for the mind of someone who is living in a place filled with fire, lead, and chaos. But no more.

I had been misled by the lack of the tragedy tag and had gravely underestimated the gruesome consequences brought forth by your foreshadowings. I made the mistake, dear Overlord, of trusting that you would not stoop so low; that the great Overlord would not be as infantile to desecrate her own work and devolve her story into one of sheer depravity. 

When I read that chapter, I felt cold, not mentally, not emotionally: My body shivered in cold in spite of the agonizing heatwave pestering the tropics. I felt lost, betrayed.

Your trial of fire was indeed too trying. 

I apologize sincerely, for I had seen how much the Great One lamented and labored for her brain-child, and I know that this lurker of a minion holds no right to disparage you, let alone criticize one as gracious as you. But this one cannot still his mind so easily, and must say this piece before I once more retreat to the shadows.

This minion gave thee his heart, and thoust shattered it.

RikkiTikkiTavi
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

This story starts out good and keeps getting better.  I stumbled upon it after more than 50 chapters had been written and once I started reading, I could not stop until I had finished all the chapters.

The protagonist isn't a person so goody-goody that you are eagerly awaiting for her to get knocked down because she is so sickeningly sweet.  Nor she so blatantly sociopathic that you wish for her to fail so that she would get  what's coming to her.  She is a fairly self-centered person who leans toward doing the "right thing" and not worrying too much about the way it gets done.

In addition, the chapters are long enough that you can really get into them.  I can see in the future that I will be able to begin reading a chapter, remember the plot from previous chapters and  still be in the first 10% of the chapter.

All-in-all, a very enjoyable story told by a wonderful author.