Dungeon Core Chat Room.

by Bluelightning42

This is a slower-paced "experiment and dungeon building" web novel that tries to use the idea of peer-to-peer communication with Dungeon Cores instead of Dungeon to slave monster communication to break up the detailed dungeon building.


Rank 1 description: (minimum met for system initialization...detailed description as follows)

Each race was given a system by the gods to make up for their shortcomings and balance their place in this world.

Humans: Abysmally bad at understanding and using magic unable to use more than the lowest of magic were given the "Skill System" magic in the form of premade skills with use, study, and mastery tied to experience.

Elves: Intuitively understand magic and have long lives leading to vast knowledge and skill in their chosen fields. However, as a species, they have nearly zero sex drive and less than low fertility, so they were gifted the "World Tree System" with experience gained through the care of natural areas – gifting the chance of children to increase their numbers without dirty copulation.

All “natural” or “wild” monsters are given an "Evolution system" designed around killing and consuming as many creatures as possible, slowly increasing strength and, at thresholds, allowing mutations to alter them multiple times.

Dungeon cores are different. Unlike humans, they can see, manipulate and live off mana. Unlike Elves, they naturally crystallize after extended periods of time in high mana level areas. However, they cannot easily move or communicate and typically go insane without companionship. As a species other than the odd eccentric they are unimaginative. Brute forcing solutions without the drive to truly innovate. Thus they have been gifted with the "Dungeon Connection System" a magical version of the internet accessible by their peers that allows them to barter and sell: bait, traps, monsters, and knowledge, as well as entertain each other with “adventure streams” using exciting recorded battles and humorous reels of arrogant chumps biting off more than they can chew to often fatal effects.

This is the casual story of a dungeon unluckily spawned far from potential adventurers forced to innovate beyond its peers to find its place in this world.


Rank 2 Description: Justification.

I've been on a dungeon core kick for months and while I love the genre – it's sparse with entries.

Often the forced conflict gets repetitive and frantic solving of threats "power levels" the protagonist to god levels to progress the plot – taking away the nice steady progression fantasy I'm looking for. (Progression in this story is linked to how strong of monsters/traps/whatever he can create not his "level"...this is demonstrated by some of his newer monsters beating his older monsters not with discrete "this monster has 10 attack this one has 40")

Additionally, the focus on 3rd parties with their drama takes away from the reason I’m reading dungeon core novels in the first place – I'm looking for magical crafting, experimentation and kingdom building – not defence from higher and higher levelled enemies looking to steal/destroy/control the MC. 

This novel is kind of just me writing the story I wish I could read. I like thinking about the experimentation that can be done in fantasy settings using 'mana' as an excuse to make up rules and try to keep them internally consistent. IE once I define how a rule works, I'm going to commit to keeping it – no breaking hard truths I've given when it's convenient, even if it backs me into a corner. Hopefully, that should make the story interesting to read even if it's SOL and less action-oriented.

There will be problems to solve and a clear progression in strength (of created monsters and knowledge) however due to not wanting to force conflict for the sake of conflict the general theme will be closer to slice of life with few action sequences and no overarching goal so please keep that in mind when picking this up as the genre is not for everyone.

Finally, I have a clear goal of what I want from this story (not an endless romp but a series of arcs and then a conclusion that's a couple of dozen medium-sized chapters long) I want to commit to finishing it or at least bringing it to a point of rest. I hate all the engaging stories that stop with a “hiatus” indefinitely so in the event I lose motivation I'll work to end this even if the ending becomes rushed/unsatisfying just to give a sense of closure.

I’m planning on including several polls in terms of direction and taking feedback heavily into account if I get enough readers (but may choose to ignore it if it deviates too far from the direction I want to take this as in feedback like: “The MC needs a cartoonishly evil arch-enemy that wants to enslave him and force the mc to pump out magic items” or “the MC needs to make a body and learn teleportation then live with humans” will get shot down without consideration.)

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Bluelightning42

Bluelightning42

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Reviews
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Commander Kane
Overall

A dungeon core story that uses a bit of science-y which is...okay, I guess, but I find that stories that use such methods take forever to get anywhere. This one included. Sure, there are only 7 chapters but the pace is slogging forward.

The chat elements were nice; I wish the author used them more, since the title of the story made it seem like it was a core part. I can't really say the same for the others. The author has a habit of writing run on sentences with no periods, which makes reading the often long paragraphs a chore.

Not the best dungeon core story out there. It's okay if you like scientific experimentation but rather boring to read.

jklm
Overall

Fun premise, detailed dungeon building

Reviewed at: Chapter 10. Rank 2 Advancement.

I was attracted by the premise right away. A dungeon core chat room, what fun!

Grammar-wise there are some tense and run-on sentence issues, but it's readable. Very detailed explanations of dungeon mechanics, but you can skim them if you aren't interested. The author is clearly putting a lot of time and effort into developing the system and trying to give it some uniqueness. It's still building up at this point, so I am looking forward to seeing where it is going to go.

The dungeon chat is fun if not very developed just yet (although the main character does have one friend already!). It's clear that it will gain features (and importance) as the main character tiers up.

JBRhorst
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I'm really enjoying this story so far. It is exactly what you would expect from a dungeon core story with enough new things that make it unique. When compared to a lot of other dungeon core novels, the start of this story is pretty slow. Hopefully that just means it will carry on quite a bit longer with enough interesting plot developments to keep my attention, but who knows.

Also, it bugs me a little bit that the MC is so smart but also so... dumb? I get that he has no perspective of basically anything as of chapter 10-ish, but UGH! If he is leveling so quickly compared to other cores at least make it seem reasonable that he has earned his levels. Sure, other cores have had more time to develop themselves and ...

make monsters... such as Amy's fishy things. But WTH is with Amy playing his monster to death? Sure, bad match up, I get it. But this is a monster made by a core that is supposedly doing better than others? Come on! If your dungeon core is going to be so far ahead of the curve, make it more realistic. Pretty much everything he has done has been done by another dungeon core already. You're telling me that the only reason he was ahead of his T1 dungeon core group is because he was being 'that guy' and just not sharing when practically everyone else was shoving information down his throat? Not really endearing.

 

The good:

The story is pretty good with solid characters.
It isn't murder hobo (yet?).
The author writes well.
Want more chapters.

The bad(?):

The story doesn't have as strong of a start as many others.
The dungeon core is going down that route of 'Oh hey, look how unique I am! It definitely won't lead me to being OP! Teehee.'
The dungeon isn't a murder hobo (yet?).
Need more chapters. 

Kelvas
Overall

The story had a lot of building chapters but it so far has held true to the bios. Easy to follow so far. I want more chapters a week! Lol But that aside the developing personally is a good concept and all cores not seeing eye to eye is realistic!

A_papertowel
Overall

This book has had a great start all be it a slow one. It's held true to its description and the characters are fun and the dungeon environment feels real. I'm greatly enjoying their chats and hope to see more of it along with picking up the pace. I'm loving how detailed the monsters are but I feel as if they could be simplified along with how things function but I also think that they will be important later. I hope to see a greater deal of development and advancement regarding his environment and I would love to see the POV of other dungeons sometime soon. I have great expectations but a good feeling about this book and its unique take on the dungeon design 

Darius Drake
Overall

Having read the reviews, I have seen that this story is highly rated by those who entered into the story understanding what the story is attempting to be, and rated fairly lowly by the few who made assumptions about it.

This story is a Slice Of Life Story following a Dungeon Core as it learns and develops over time. At the time of posting, using very loose terminology, we have seen the MC go through the developmental equivalent of a "newborn phase", "primary school phase", and now seem to be into the "middle school phase" of their development. To be clear, I am assuming that there will be a few more sub-chat rooms the MC gains access to over the course of the story, and am labelling each new chat room as a new environment, and thus phase, in the MC's development.

What this story does, and does well, is showcase exactly what the MC is doing and going through in an interesting and consistent manner. It showcases the MC experimenting, discovering, being introduced to, and even accidentally stumbling into things that they can do as the story progresses. There is no "singular solution" to a problem, and our MC discovers and attempts several different things as the story progresses. Some of them are successful, while some are failures, and others seem successful until the MC later decides that they were only a good starting point.

But the reason for the review title is because this story is, first and foremost, a Slice Of Life Story. The purpose of the story is not to have the MC change the world. It is not to show exciting adventures, stories of threats to the MC's life, or anything of the like. It is not to introduce a new and highly powerful Dungeon to the world. No, the purpose of a Slice Of Life Story like this is to introduce us to an interesting story of the life of someone completely different from our own. Please understand this, and, if it's a turn off for you to know that this story will not have exciting dives fighting off adventurers anytime soon, well you really do need to read the full author's description before you attempt to start this story.

GrimCat
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Dungeon Core Chatroom. Honestly, the title already says a lot about what the story is about : the life of a dungeon core and how he interacts with the world around him, mainly his own dungeon and monsters and, of course, other dungeons.

The grammar is good. I haven't noticed any error personally but, since I'm not a native english speaker, some may have passed me by. 

The style is nice. You really feel like you are in this young core's place, bumbling about without a clue of what to do, relying on the other cores' experience and experimentation. I really appreciate how you can understand Innearth's thought process and how he reaches some conclusions. Of course his basis on how tall adventurers are is base off the tutorial-provided monster, why wouldn't it ? He has never seen one after all. So far there has only been one scene in which I had trouble understanding what was happening but, considering it's about a physics-breaking material, it still makes sense.

The characters introduced so far are enjoyable. The cores are a bunch of quirky children whose personnality is influenced by their element distribution, some are edgy, some are mature, some are pyromaniacs and some are just scammers - really, they're doing a great job at making this world feel alive despite never leaving Innearth's little bubble. The monsters - at least those with a brain and that manage to survive long enough - are also fun, though they are a bit less developped - which makes sense, each one is expendable and will probably die.

Now comes the story in itself. I didn't know how to rate it, it didn't feel fair since this is a slice of life story in its early stage, there isn't that much to talk about - yet. No great plot, no master plan, no apocalypse - just a dungeon who wants to be better. And I think that is, in fact, enough. Watching Innearth's growth is enough to get attached, to want to read more about him and his whacky world.

So yes, good dungeon story - one of the last few still active. If it's the kind of story you like, check it out and enjoy.

sillystring
Overall

Just like any gaming site (MMORPG/Kongregate) chat

Reviewed at: Chapter 13. When Crystals Fly.

Wow this is highly-ranked and has a catchy title and premise, so imagine my disappointment at the mediocre writing, plodding plot, and dull characters. The dungeons are less interesting than my old classmates on Facebook. Which makes sense since they’re younger and have less life experience, but I wanted to read a dungeon chat with characters that sound alien or intriguing instead of like human children playacting as dungeons.

I wouldn’t judge this so harshly off just the dungeon building, which is impressively detailed. However, I came for the dungeon chat, and so I leave disappointed.

EddieSeb
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Blue asked me to review!

((Spoiler Free))


Style:  It's a good core dungeon story with the world and dialogue feeling realistic. Transition between chapters is good and what the story focuses on makes sense, even if I get lost on the more scientific explanations.


Story: I love the chat rooms part and is one of the more interesting parts of the story and I want to see it progress. The concept itself is solid and you'll especially like it if you like science and tinkering. My only gripe is with the pacing but that is because I personally prefer more fast-paced stories and not because it was done badly.


Grammar: Looks great and nothing glaringly wrong while reading.


Characters: it's quite early on in the novel so can't really comment in the character arc but I'm satisfied with how it is. The new core being childlike is not a new concept but it's execute well even if they don't really have much of a personality yet.

Overall: I enjoyed it . If you don't like dungeon core stories you might not but I'd still encourage you to try it. The story does neatly solve one of my main criticisms of dungeon core stories, that they feel kind of lonely, however, the chat room makes the world feel more alive.

Luke W. Logan
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Bluelightning42 has entered the chat.

Reviewed at: Chapter 7. Filling out the bestiary.

A well-crafted dungeon core story, with a fairly brilliant twist on the usual tropes. It's well worth your time and has been criminally low rating for it's apparent quality. 

 

Style: It's a dungeon core story. They're not for everyone, but this one is done well. There are blue screens which is a nice touch (very well-formatted I might add). The prose is delightful, the dialogue solid which is another merit for this story. The mere fact that we have actual conversations in a dungeon core story early on which don't occur between an entity with (relative) omnipotence and another creature entirely dependent on it. There are only so many ways for a dungeon core to interact with its fairy or subservient goblin creatures, and this novel has bypassed that constraint elegantly.

Story: It's a dungeon core story so it's not exactly fast-paced or filled to the brim with world-building (With that said, the excerpts at the start of the chapter do a good job at filling in hat missing detail). But it's tight, internally consistent and has done a remarkably good job of blending science with magic in a way that many novels struggle to do. Just the way the author blends using chemical elements proper names with pushing out mana is masterfully done. The narrative stands on its own two feet as well, rather than saddle us with the tried and true 'dungeon fairy' analogue we have the chat room which is essentially the 'unique take' of this novel, which say what you will is certainly unique, something the fairly tired genre desperately needs.

Grammar: Flawless. The hyphens, the semi-colons, the commas and the periods. All excellently placed leaving a story that is a joy to read. Clear concise prose with a nice mixture of long and short sentences that work well with the pacing of the story.

Character: The protagonist is consistent and intelligent. They are unfortunately a little on the boring side, but that is more to do with the narrative than the character themselves. They seem okay, but what they are really lacking is the opportunity to shine (at least not in the chapters that I've read). While I acknowledge that slice of life tales are 'slower' there still needs to be action even if that's in the form of cooking breakfast, crafting a monster, or having a conversation rather than swinging a sword. Simply put, our dungeon cores personality has yet to shine through.