Magical Girl Kari: Apocalypse System

by Jammin' Rabbit

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

Great power does not often fall into the hands of the responsible.

Kari never wanted her powers. When she was surrounded and faced with the gnashing jaws of horrifying monsters, a voice offered her a chance to save herself and her best friend Makina. Once she slipped on the gem-studded ring dropped before her, the Apocalypse System activated, transforming her into and granting all the powers of a magical girl. Her outfit, however, looked nothing like the cute ones others wear. Her robes appeared as though stained with blood and her skills were all brutalizing attacks.

She didn't want this at all, but the system left her with a cryptic message that couldn't be ignored...

Apocalypse is coming, Kari Tachibana.

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Author
Jammin' Rabbit

Jammin' Rabbit

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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CookieCrumble
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Story
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Wow. Wow. Wow.

Reading the first chapter of the story is like reading a highly polished, big-budgeted, at least two seasons approved, shoujo anime (that has *cough* young adult to middle-aged men as their target demographic).

The story punched the audience in the face with magical realism. It hooked by normalizing the existence of magical girl —that a group of monsters-fighting fifteen something was your normal, everyday thing. It also managed to paint a very inherent feel of culture. The far-oft mystified west, the shallow sympathy, the going through the motion speech, and the reluctance of telling no. It nailed the Japanese to a tee.

The author's style choice of unreliable narrator also apt, the main character's immature emotion really puts the reader into her shoes. The shoes of 'misunderstood' high school student who has a problem dealing with her emotion. I like the part where she snapped into her obviously caring parent, a hallmark sign of coming of age teenager, delivered perfectly indicating her developmental stage.

The supporting characters also were not left behind. For example, the supporting main character, 'the foil bubbly love interest' hate of favorite composer misattribution gave credence to the depth of her passion and hence personality.

Grammar like always was perfect. And honestly, the only nitpick I had was how could people in this world finish to 'drink' their boba first before slurping their drink with the fact that liquid was in fact more *cough* suckable than solids. Perhaps it could be into spooning or eating instead of sucking?

In conclusion, this is the story I'd recommend to even the most casual reader. Definitely a good read.

SunnyShim
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Intersting magical girl story

Reviewed at: Chapter 11 - Broken Lady

Interesting story but doesn't seem to be bringing anything new to the dark/parody magical girl genre as of yet.

The writing, plot, and story progresses pretty fast without much unneccessary interactions and descriptions which is both a pro and con. It allows the reader to get to the action and fun stuff quickly but it's hard for the reader to understand where the characters are and what the setting is like. It's bit of annoying part as I'm trying to imagine what's going on but there's too many gaps of information.

The way the author writes the story makes the world seem believable and in such a strange world such as one where magical girls exists, it's defintely harder than other worlds.

One of the bigger problems with this story is that it uses a LOT of cliches which makes it feel generic and not new. This story feels like something that would be easy to predict though there's only been a few chapters so far so obviously I don't know what's actually going to happen.

There's only been a few chapters so i hope this story gets better but so far, it's been interesting but not particularly innovative. The main change I would want would to have more descriptions of the surroundings and the setting as that's important for any story.

Overall, it's been quite entertaining but there are defintely things to improve upon. I'm looking forward to what this story may bring.

rgreads
Overall

Sailor Paint-the-walls-red

Reviewed at: Chapter 8 – Enrage

Standard Magic Girl story, with a splash of bloodthirsty berserker and a detour into one scary new girl who doesn't fit the mold.

 

Magical transformation into a cute dress wearing superhero girl? Check. As long as cute includes the Slayer Princess vibe. While the story is still getting started, we seem to be leaving the usual tropes by the wayside. This magical girl is more angry than chibi, and she's not really interested in becoming a celebrity. What is she interested in? Let's find out...

reil-rhiil
Overall

A well written story starring a flawed but interesting character. A cutesy trope turned on its ear, as the MC has no interest in being an adorable heroine magical girl. Anger issues, jealousy, and a toolbox full of nothing but hammers, Kari is set to become a monster to monsters and mankind alike.

There will be blood, and I am making popcorn.

acausal
Overall

I'm enjoying it but I don't usually review so soon. I clicked a single half star by accident and couldn't figure out how to undo it. But you know what, I'm enjoying this story enough so far that I'd recommend it, so I will leave a positive review rather than trying to figure this out on my phone.

 

That said, so far it has earned my interest and the writing seems good enough that I don't feel that this review is disingenuous, either