Dirk Cooper: Paranormal Real Estate

Dirk Cooper: Paranormal Real Estate

by saltywaters

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were Ghosts, Money and The Mob. The solution was Real Estate.

Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.

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A Rhetorical Rock

Well that's unexpected

Reviewed at: Chapter 5

I came over from another story of the author, not reading the description and really was not expecting that first chapter to go the way it did. I was like totally on his side about what is he gonna rob he’s got a bike lady leave him be. Anyway the story concept I can totally get behind keep it up!


Good Urban fantasy

Reviewed at: Chapter 20

This is about a guy that got into lots of debt to criminals when he was younger and now pays them by finding (or creating with a friendly ghost) haunted houses, taking care of the haunting and acting as agent for the sale of the house. It has something from dresden files in the sense that it is urban fantasy mixed with a dose of noir.

The MC is not above scamming people but he is far from amoral. Just maybe don't trust him in regards to money related things. He can see ghosts and he genuinly can deal with them but as I said a haunted house that he offers to help you sell might be haunted by a ghost he partnered up with.

Ghosts in this setting differ in power and the strong ones can be genuinly dangerous and deadly.

And while deals with ghosts he is in partly deliberate denial about anything else supernatural existing. Since the description mentions dark magic it is probably not much of a spoiler to say that what he is dealing with seems to be more than just ghosts.

It is quite a different story than Ben's damn adventure, since it is much more grounded. Personally I prefer this one, though the other one was fun. Of course this one is still new and short.


Chapter One hits like a pro!

Reviewed at: Chapter 2

Now, obviously this is a bit of a premature review. You can't go about reading a single chapter and deciding the quality of an entire story from it. That would be crazy.

Luckily I don't give a damn.

This story has so much potential and pizzazz slammed into the very beginning that if the entire rest of the story simply coasts gently downhill it will still be an amazing tale. 

The sheer cheek and charm of it alone is worth a read.

The Style: punchy and unrepentant! Like Mike Tyson in a ballgown!

The Story: surprising depth! Like that stream all those kids drowned in!

The Grammar: perfect!

The Character: oh, oh the CHARACTER! That, is where things really shine! In a single chapter I know, like, and want to know more about the funky duck that is Dirk Cooper.

To the readers: I hope you agree and don't care if you don't. 

To the writer: this is glorious and I can't wait to read more. I'm riveted with curiosity to see where you lead us from here!

Okay, for seriously? How many words are 200?! Advanced reviews must be at least 200 words, and I could have sworn I hit that number a while back... my desire to practice conciseness has once again bitten me in the rear. We good?


Came here from another story by the same author, and wow. This is a great story, and I loved every chapter.

Character-wise, Dirk is such a great MC, and the supporting cast is all filled with character, which is hard to find in stories nowadays. 

Rudy is a great villian, with hints dropped near the end being just subtle enough that you can tell something's off with him without being able to tell the scale of it all (although Caroline was a bit empty near the end - she's quite powerful so there should've been something of a struggle in my opinion.)


Grammar is near-perfect, only thing i found was some errors with new lines (sometimes two pieces of dialogue appear on the same line, or a sentence will randomly drop to a new line,) but it's not that common and is still perfectly readable.

Story is great, although a little bit short (maybe another 5 chapters to fill out the end, as the ending seemed very chaotic, although I think that was intended and it did add to the effect of the ending, so still solid.) and also I wish I could've seen the supporting characters more, like Leon and Zaroff (they're great.)

Most of this is just nitpicking though, overall this is a near-perfect story to (hopefully) many more to come.


Ghosts, debt and something fucky going on.

Reviewed at: Chapter 24

The story is a great read. 

There is supernatural stuff,  exorcists, THE Mary, and a lot of debt to pay. 

Dirk is a type of guy that you may hate or love but you will still want to read about him and his misadventures. 

You have a house infected with a ghost? You know who to call. He may not be cheap but he, at least from some perspective, is very effective at what he does.

I recommend this story to all that like supernatural stuff in modern world. 




hoduka dakokty

Well worth reading for a fun time with great characters and excellent pacing. This story really captures the wondrous curiosity of a new world. All the characters feel very real and all the motivations and actions make sense. It really balances having fun exciting moments without needing anyone to hold the idiot ball.