Level system vs Cultivation methods

by Bristlecone

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Traumatising content

Experience vs Meditation.
Muscles vs jade-like skin.
Medical treatment vs acupuncture.
Engineering vs ancient knowledge.
Humans vs immortals.

This is a story of Revolution.

-------------------------

*Originally from Scribble Hub

  • Overall Score
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  • Pages :
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Author
Bristlecone

Bristlecone

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 01 : Linjian ago
Chapter 02 : Tradition ago
Chapter 03 : Awakening ago
Chapter 04 : Maria ago
Chapter 05 : Book of Appraisal ago
Chapter 06 : Answer ago
Chapter 07 : Departure ago
Chapter 08 : SP ago
Chapter 09 : Estimated levels ago
Chapter 10 : Skirmish ago
Chapter 11 : Miss and guard ago
Chapter 12 : Ingenuity ago
Chapter 13 : Eloped couple ago
Chapter 14 : Justice ago
Chapter 15 : Two minutes ago
Chapter 16 : Changing destiny ago
Chapter 17 : Page of Enlightenment ago
Chapter 18 : Different ago
Chapter 19 : Family head ago
Chapter 20 : Determination ago
Chapter 21 : Human impurities ago
Chapter 22 : To change ago
Chapter 23 : 0 ago
Chapter 24 : Nameless kid ago
Chapter 25 : Little one ago
Chapter 26 : Guard D ago
Chapter 27 : The witch ago
Chapter 28 : Acupuncture user ago
Chapter 29 : White lily flower ago
Chapter 30 : Commoner vs sect ago
Chapter 31 : Procedure ago
Chapter 32 : Convocation ago
Chapter 33 : Bright future ago
Chapter 34 : Hero of Light ago
Chapter 35 : Spoils ago
Chapter 36 : One year ago ago
Chapter 37 : Civilization ago
Chapter 38 : Trust ago
Chapter 39 : Battle on three fronts ago
Chapter 40 : Blessing ago
Chapter 41 : South and West ago
Chapter 42 : Power couple ago
Chapter 43 : Deserve ago
Chapter 44 : Insight ago
Chapter 45 : Father vs city lord ago
Chapter 46 : Hero vs Phoenix ago
Chapter 47 : Gratitude ago
Chapter 48 : Solo mission ago
Chapter 49 : Rescue mission ago
Chapter 50 : Permanent unconsciousness ago
Chapter 51 : All-out war ago
Chapter 52 : Second line of defense ago
Chapter 53 : Mages ago
Chapter 54 : Arrival ago
Chapter 55 : Team attack ago
Chapter 56 : Fight with oneself ago
Chapter 57 : The weakest vs the strongest ago
Chapter 58 : Meeting again ago
Chapter 59 : Innovations ago
Chapter 60 : The wonder material ago
Chapter 61 : In the sky ago
Chapter 62 : Antonov ago
Chapter 63 : Second settlement ago
Chapter 64 : Eternal cycle ago
Chapter 65 : Justice is not cute ago
Chapter 66 : Unheeding Taowu ago
Chapter 67 : Human inquisition ago
Chapter 68 : The ugliest beauty ago
Chapter 69 : Greedy Taotie ago
Chapter 70 : Chaos Hundun ago
Chapter 71 : Aberrant Qiongqi ago
Chapter 72 : Against the Yin and Yang ago
Chapter 73 : Heralds of the devil ago
Chapter 74 : Discarding the Yin and the Yang ago
Chapter 75 : Unlimited ago
Chapter 76 : Goodbye ago
Chapter 77 : The past and the present ago
Chapter 78 : Lone Wolf ago
Chapter 79 : First generation vs Immortal ago
Chapter 80 : Second generation vs Immortal ago
Chapter 81 : Sword to protect ago
Chapter 82 : Freedom ago
Chapter 83 : Last destination ago
Chapter 84 : Debate in the center of the world ago
Chapter 85 : Final fight ago
Chapter 86 : Final form ago
Final chapter : King vs Emperor ago

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
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rgreads
Overall

Reviewing is like kicking a puppy

Reviewed at: Chapter 06 : Answer

Poor machine translation is not a writing style.

I suspect (hope?) that Bristlecone is not a native English speaker. They have an interesting premise but decided to mimic the broken, fragmentary grammar, sentence structure and character speech of poorly translated light novels and xanxia stories.

It's painful to watch someone trying this hard with this poor of results. Bristlecone, please take a break, read some of the top rated stories here, and contrast those writing styles to your own. When you understand the difference, come back for a rewrite pass and then continue.

alcelaphinae
Overall

i readed to 52. chapter.

its not bad, i gave low rating for several reasons but further reviews needed. Concept is good. I sick of tired from these chinese cultivators. They dont make sense. But execution is kind of childish and boring. It was like reading a chronological summary of events.

for example:

in 2019 wuhan, covid19 appeared and bla bla bla

in 2020 at Monkey month covid19 announced as pandemic and bla bla bla

dialogues are so two dimensional.

So with this "summary type of events" and "two dimensional dialogues" whole novel became boring and childish.

MrPanda1
Overall

I feel the guy above me was a bit too harsh. I agree that you should find a beta, and I mean a beta that will talk with you on how to make your story better. The title is a bit bland but is self explanatory, your summary sucks a bit.

The story itself needs some work. The plot is moving very slowly, and sometimes there really isn't any progress at all. 

I think the story could actually turn out better than this, but as I said it needs some serious work.

Frederick Elliott Walker
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

so i got to chapter 6, then skimmed ahead in chapters to the second to last to see if there was improvement. there was but not a lot.

 So grammar first: (tried to give 0 stars but 1/2 star is lowest i can give) It barely exists, making the story hard to follow, understand, and/or enjoy. Because of the style use to tale the story the bad grammar sticks out like a world tree in a dirt field. 

 

Next the Style: It is talking from one character to another, with thoughts and sound effects thrown in. different from most stories i have read on the web, but the grammar really messes with it.

 

Now to the characters: Not a lot of depth to the characters, MC is good cultivators are bad, focus is on their actions, again the grammar and the style make character development seem shallow and rushed.

Story: evil cultivators vs MC with a leveling magic/knowledge system that is voiced by a past life. Mostly seems to point out lots of flaws in cultivation novels, maybe like a rant in story form? but i think the idea is a good one, if just told in first or third person with better grammar.

 

overall grammar and style that this story is written in makes it hard to read. If grammar was fixed, i think that it would be easier to read but i feel like the style will still seem strange.

jadecriminal
Overall

I thought the idea looked interesting

Reviewed at: Chapter 05 : Book of Appraisal

I cecked this out since it showed up in trending. I was hopefull since it looked like deconstructio of Cultivation stories.

Unfortunately I started reading:

This is not storytelling. At best this is a chalk outline of a story, as it has been murdered.

Idea is good but unless this is just an outline used to draw up a comic it really doesn't work.

There are some good ideas here:

Perhaps some articles and youtube videos on good storytelling?


Like anything it takes some work to become good at stuff.