The Reincarnation of Alysara

by Comiak

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

One day, a goddess finds a lost soul, one that held secrets to before the great calamity, to before magic existed, to one of the earliest realms to have existed and reincarnated this soul into a new world. A deal was made, In exchange for new life and a boon, access to the memories of existence's most early times must be given once they have resurfaced.

This story has been inspired by Azarinth Healer with a similar system yet changed enough to be new and interesting.

This will feature a lot of progression, of discovery, and once the MC grows up, fighting.

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This is a very well thought out and planned story. The author seems to have arcs in mind and goes at a slower pace. This book has a more complex writing style that some people seems to struggle with. My only criticism is maybe take another look at the language you made for your novel as I believe it needs a bit of fine tuning (also maybe tone it down after a few chapters) I really enjoyed how chapters 13+ are written. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!


Perplexed Reader Warns "Stay Away"

Reviewed at: Chapter 12: Funeral

Where to begin... The prologue?

The prologue appears to be entirely irrelevant to the first twelve chapters of the story. There is some cosmological framing, and a blessing from a goddess, but the former adds nothing to the story while the later is confirmed more or less as soon as she gets her status, and repeatedly during her childhood.  Allegedly, the protagonist has lost all her memories from a prior life, but the author ignores this as convenient.

Sex.  The protagonist is born into a race of mammalian-like, humanoid fox-like beings. There is low sexual dimorphism between the two sexes, which is played for laughs once the protagonist finds out who her father is.  Then, for no reason I can divine, the protagonist/author decides that this second sex couldn't possibly be male and so decides to call them futanari and, in so much as this work is in English while in-universe they speak another language, decides to use English female pronouns.  This is apparently without regard to biology or, more egregiously, how the culture in-universe treats the separate sexes. It's one thing to disorient an isekai'd protagonist by an alien biology or culture; it's another for the protagonist to impress their cultural understandings without regard. The author should spend some time self-reflecting on why he made this decision.

Language.  The author decides to create a constructed language and spends a significant amount of time walking us through it, and then in dialogue, will sprinkle a litle of the constructed language in with the language this fiction is written in (i.e., English).  This is an extremely advanced writing technique that should be left to linguists who happen to be authors (e.g., Tolkien).  It doesn't work.

Lack of dialogue.  Through age 5, we see almost no evidence of the protagonist engaging in dialogue with her parents or other adults, asking how the world, magic or system works.  Instead, the protagonist forges ahead blindly (pun not intended) and, by some miracle, is a genius at leveling up, despite that a culture which grew up in a system likely has accumulated knowledge and expierence of centuries to draw upon. It would also serve a good opportunity for exposition from a semi-reliable source.

Min max.  Through chapters 12, something like 30-50% of the text is dedicated to the protagonist min-maxing her build.  This ends up both highly repetitive and uninteresting.  There's very little other in the way of story. 

Cultural hegemony.  There is some clear leakage between the protagonist and the author.  And, in so much as the story occurs in first person point of view, the protagonist ultimately ends up describing (and sometimes pigeonholing) aspects of alien, fantasy society using Earth cultural terms.  See complaint about sex above. 

First person POV.  As noted, there is some leakage between the protagonist and the author.  This is particularly a problem in so much as the protagonist is an old soul which has allegedly lost all its memories.  And yet the protagonist says she thinks in English, and remembers (though perhaps incorrectly) several things about her old universe, like physics, geology, and biology.

City vs. village.  Despite describing the protagonist's hometown as a village, the way the village is set up is much more akin to the extra-large community of a city, rather than the small, insular communities that villages are, especially in a society without transit.  This is a likely a bit of leakage from the author and protagonist, a cultural hegemony problem as noted above, and a lack of experience/knowledge on the author's part.

Psychopath.  Particularly given the protagonist's minimal dialogue, what dialogue we do get--combined with her inner thoughts--is starting to suggest that the protagonist is a psychopath who only sees values in others in so much as she can manipulate them to do things that benefit her.  A psychopath can make an interesting protagonist, but insomuch as the story is not tagged anti-hero lead, having it sneak up on the reader is iffy.

Advanced Review Stuff, which draws on all of the above issues:

Style:  It's mostly fine, but suffers from leakage as noted above, and the cultural hegemony issues. 

Grammar:  Again, mostly fine, but professional.

Story:  Almost no plot. It's a slice of life skill grind.  

Characters: Anyone not the protagonist is flat as a board (speaking of their character).  The protagonist doesn't have much depth to her either; and the aspects of her old soul as are well integrated with the rest of her character.


Experienced reader tells you "try it".

Reviewed at: Chapter 14: Elders

I'm not a big fan of doing reviews (it's not that easy to make a constructive one).
But considering the only existing criticism for the moment being rather negative, I had to make a positive one.

I'm not going to make a long and advanced review because English is not my native language.
Getting back to the story, I honestly think you should at least give it a try.

I would first like to say that this story has for the moment a rather slow rate of progression compared to other story of the isekai type (in chapter 14 it has passed around 5 years since its birth).
As for memory loss and why memories come back at the right time this is pretty well explained by the author in the story.

One point that seemed to displease a lot of people was when she decided that men with breasts (aka her dad) are women. But you just have to do it backwards they are women with a penis (the correct term is futanari and futa is pronounced in the feminine).there are many species that are hermaphroditic or that can change their sex if they want to.
As the mc is no longer human, you as the reader should not project our values and gender into this story.

to return to the story we therefore follow the life of a very old soul reincarnated thanks to the help of gods in another world long after its death.
The system is rather well done because to go up levels it is not enough to just repeat the same movement 1000 times, it is also necessary to understand it.
In conclusion this story has a good potential to become a known story on this site if the author continues to post regularly.
Note: 4.5 / 5 because 5/5 must be perfection but I will put 5/5 to counterbalance the other criticism in order to give this story a chance.

ps: moreover there is for the moment only 14 chapter so the story is only at its beginning

pps: I warned you that I was not good with review (I tend to disperse myself ^^).