My Shadow Says Hi

by Applemelon

Draven Hall, the leader of a small organized crime gang, finds himself at his wit's end. His business has been busted and it's only a matter of time before authorities find him. As a final enjoyment, he gets completely wasted and bumbles down the street in a drunken stupor. That is, until suddenly, his world fades to black.

As he wakes up, he finds himself in a different world... And somehow, he now lives as the shadow of a demon girl in a world entirely unfamiliar to him!

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  • Pages :
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Author
Applemelon

Applemelon

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Alright, but characters could be better.

Reviewed at: 1.6) The Violet Angel

I'm bad at putting my words onto a text but I'll try.

The characters seem almost fake and forced. One of the main reasons being that the author uses brackets to indicate who is speaking which I find breaks immersion and makes me feel frustrated. 

I also feel like the author forgot that their MC is a gang leader and his mindset is... well, not really making sense to me since he has been always wanting to help and all that, though he does ask people for things in return for help, he just feels way, way too trusting to me.

Also, what he says always happens with characters not even hesitating to do what he says, it's like the author is using the MC to say what is going to happen and I find that weird.

I just really hate the characters, they almost feel like emotionless dolls, it's like watching a puppet show compared to an actual play if you understand where I'm getting at. 

The story is fine and the author certainly knows how to write, the reason why I said almost emotionless earlier on actually, maybe the story feels better later on but I can't comfortably read after 1.6). 

Sorry if I seem like I'm being a hater or something like that...