Trinity Mage

by oscblade

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity

Life is an enigma… When we are born fate either blesses or curses us. For some though fate plays with them as if they were a puppet. Pulling here and there for a cause that only the Gods can fathom the reasons why.

For Trint the Fates have strung him along on a tale that he could never have dreamed of. Yet will he stay the puppet or will he cut the strings that bind him and carve his own path?

Now Trint must embark from one world to another on an adventure orchestrated by hands unseen, with danger unimaginable, and magic that can only be found in dreams.

 

 Cover Art made by HooinKyoma 

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oscblade

oscblade

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claws8367
  • Overall Score

 So until chapter 12 i was happy enough to read the story when it popped up. Then the author used shounen-logic to force a female into the story line. Lets just say it's it doesn't follow logic anymore. If you like goody 2 shoes stories then this one is made for you. Mature tag should be scrapped, killing is bad, but attempted murder should be forgiven? classic shounen logic.

Skull_Mech
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Be ready to be fully immersed in a new world

What sets this story apart from other reincarnated into new worlds, are the fact that the author has made new terminologies for nearly everything. Even the recounting of years and seasons have been changed to reflect the main culture and language of this new world. There are some terminologies that I wished the author should have changed, such as races, as well to fit his whole new world theme but aside from that I am thoroughly enjoying this new world. (Maybe even make time a matter of candle sticks. Such as half an hour is in this world an equivalent of a candle stick)

 

Overall plot so far is slow and steady for our young MC so readers enjoying the childhood growth of any MC will be delighted. The pacing is not rushed as well. Supporting casts and future antagonists are slowly introduced into the MC's storyline and are not forced. Our young MC has the capabilities to be OP but has definite weaknesses so far in that he lacks experience and guidance to use his powers.

 

Writing style for avid readers should be pleased as the author has a talent in adding in a light splash of poetry to add a flare to the stories not found in most novels here bringing weight to important aspects of the story. The Author has a plathera of vocabularies to add to his resume. If stories such as beyond and forgotten conqueror has set the bar for story telling and writing style all writing enthusiasts to meet, this story ought to have set the bar for grammar and voccab.

 

If I had to nitpick for this story, its that whilst the cheat sheet for spells etc are found in the website he provided in the latter chapters, it would be nice to have one here as well for readers here. I would love to see more character interactions which I'm sure will be corrected as the story progresses and our MC gets acquainted with his friend/s and enemies. There are certain settings of the story where I have wished the author would give a more avid description such as our MC's camp and tomb. A fleeting and temporary abode/setting but would further the immersion of the story.

 

This is a definite must read for any Reincarnated story enthusiasts or new world for that matter. 

Kandoral
  • Overall Score

The beginning of the story was really nice, but gradually it worsened.

Every chapter feels forced and the same. Not thought through. The character development almost completely stops, description of scenery is nearly non existent later on and so many flaws in the story line that you can fall through the plot holes

Droma
  • Overall Score

Above average but with a big flaw

It's a reincarnation story where the reincarnation has almost zero actual impact on the character like many other fictions here.

The power ups are pretty par for the course as far as these type of fantasy stories go so nothing too bad there if you enjoy these type of stories. There is nothing original here either though but nothing really bad.

The story is your generic fantasy world shonen style young person has an ability which makes him better than other people and uses it to overcome things most people can't.

 

The grammar and sentence structure are above average but nothing great.

 

For this sight just counting these factors gives it a 4.


What makes it a 3  though is in how the training is done. ***warning spoilers start here*** When the kid is 5 he decides he wants to be trained as a warrior. So his dad trains him for a couple hours a day for a month before the kid is left to fend for himself in the woods where he's expected to kill and absorb the essence of dangerous monsters for a month.

A typical 5 year old is about 3.5 feet tall and weighs 40 pounds. I don't care if you have the mind of an adult you don't have the physical ability to do prolonged periods of exercise let alone fights to the death. Not to mention no one learns how to fight in a month. At best you learn how to not trip over your own feet. Once again the reincarnation doesn't help here as the dude was a vegetable in his past life. There is also no convenient kids mature much faster in this world loophole. If you pretend the kid is in his early teens and trained for years the story works but at face value it's extremely hard to suspend disbelief.***spoiler ends here***

 

 

Runebane
  • Overall Score

I'm sure not everyone will agree, but I like it.  With the MC being special/strong but not completely overpowering the story seems sensible and not crazy extreme.  The emotional choices of the characters are engaging enough to keep me looking forward to the next chapter.

patcan3609
  • Overall Score

A few minor problems that will fix the story.

 Overall I think the story could be something far better even though the plot seems quite generic.

First of all I dont really feel the MC is someone special even though he is the first Trinity Mage? I dont know, I just dont feel that its that significance. 

In my opinion, he is getting his abilities far too easily and introducing his dark familiar this early is a bad idea as it will make the familiar a plain plot device to make the MC stronger without having the MC develop anything himself. This degrades his personal talent which furthers my point in him supposedly being someone "unique" ?

To be honest, Elisven's father dying, I didnt feel anything for it as there was practically no information given on him and I couldnt feel any emotional tensity in his death, it was a pointless death. There are some points that are confusing for example the part where Elisven was hallucinating his father being alive. I think you could describe it better showing hints in that she is hallucinating rather than telling us outside the chapter. Don't worry, this is a problem many authors have on RoyalRoadl so you are not alone!

I think you need more world building, character layout (the MC feels so bland...I cant even remember his name lol, it could be that I am reading a lot of novels which leads to that..), and slower plot development. One mistake that I would warn you ahead of time is to not list the details. Tell us through conversation between characters. This could give us insight on the world while showing how the characters talk giving small hints on their personalities. 

If you were to think of remaking this series, you might want to give the MC something more unique that you can work your way around it. Trinity can mean many things, trinity of emotions (3 emotions he can connect with strongly which can work your way into magic and how it affects it), etc. It doesnt have to be trinity "elements". 

On a definite note, make Elisven more interesting. I hardly know anything about her personality which can be because of the lack of chapters for now? Anyways development through show and not tell!

P.S. I think your story is enjoyable and I encourage you to continue to write. It is up to you whether or not you continue with this story or restart from  scratch. Anyways keep up the good work!

meddler88
  • Overall Score

Great story until Chapter 9

 *spoiler alert*

 

In  chapter 9 an elven girl is met in the woods. This character thinks about why she should kill him then shoots him. This is cold blooded murder. Later on she even admits to herself that the main reason she is sad is not because she believes she killed a 5 year old but because she is alone without her dad. This is a psychotic cold blooded murdering girl and yet the main character does not punish her or anything of the sort. he forgives her and helps her. This is exactly what i was dreading, no consequences for your actions. If you like an MC like this then i 100% recommend this story, for outside of this it is a great story.

kari
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Good story, but not-so-captivating-execution... plus not so great MC

 

Beginning of the story was interesting And the story concept is good. Unfortunately the execution is lacking. The story telling is not the worst but seems like it’s a first trial of someone who may or may not write a good book someday.

MINOR SPOILER ALERT FROM HERE!!

It lacks the excitement in the fight scenes, the shock & awe feel which u get when you get to know that the MC is a genius at magic (chapter where the element-cloak-thing finds out about his soul force & Inquisitor level mana pool). Also his personality is kinda annoyingly dumb…not in the stupid sense, but in the common-sense dept.

SPOILER (Probably the love interest)

eg. Elf tries to kill u when u ask her who she is

Next time u meet her, ur 1st reaction is to almost yell?? FINE, Lets skip that part as a reflex reaction… Then she grabs u into a deserted alley and ur next reaction is to speak to her and Rant?? WTF!? She did not steal something from u, she tried to kill u you dimwit! FIGHT! STRUGGLE! DO SOMETHING MC LIKE! :/

Also, immediately after that, him wanting to help find her dad n her agreeing is again dumb… 

And also, her being a psycho is also a big negative if she's his love interest

 

Anyways, it’s not a bad story, so if u wanna kill some time then go ahead.

 

Peace
  • Overall Score

I am not very good at reviews

I like the way you are heading with your story. A part I really liked was when he met the girl. Meeting a girl at a young age makes it so that he can have a childhood friend and a possible love interest for later on. She can also act as a type of rival if you want to have that in the story later on. Something I thought was pretty good was Umbrus. It can act as both a mentor and a familiar as the story progresses and if you give him other sentient weapons or something for his other affinities then it would be really awesome in my opinion.

Something you might want to think on is that your story seems a little rushed in places. I personally don’t mind because I like a fast paced story. But it can affect how readable the material is overall and the storyline could take a hit if its rushed. Other than that I think you are doing a good job and hope to see more chapters.

Tyicius
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Enjoyable and improving

I don't do reviews however, the author requested opinions so here I am. Go to the end if you want to skip the wall of text.

Opinion based on chapters 1-5:

This story is fairly fast paced (blazes through childhood). There are a lot of instances where the reader take what the author says without any reasoning. (Ex: Why did he hide his darkness element? His motivation for doing so is missing, initially. He suddenly awakens his magic 5 years early, we didn't even know when that happens). Taking the time to build up the world so your audience isn't bombarded by new, albeit common knowledge for the fictional characters. 

The main character is somewhat shallow. I have a hard time connecting with him at the beginning of the story. I feel like an observer when I read (an effect of 3rd person storytelling - not negative). When he achieves something I should be interested/engaged, I'm not. Alternatively, he is a child. If he is simply ignorant of this information and it's being introduced to him gradually then I can understand. A 5 year old isn't going to understand the complexities of "alien" society.

Your readers need a world/culture that the character interacts with and is effected.

Opinion based on chapter 6 - 27

The pace of the story slows down (more comfortable reading). We start seeing some flashbacks that add depth and motivation to the characters actions (much needed, thanks).

I noticed there was complaining about the "random" introduction of a female character. Personally I think the character was well done and reacted accordingly to the situation (chapter 9). 

His progress is very fast in chapters 11-13. His abilities are still limited and he does lose (or runs away) which is realistic. 

The characters naivety is annoying. Especially when the reincarnated individual decides to disregard his experience / common sense to pursue an unknown number of bandits. This was a major turn off for me. Though the character does start reflecting when his actions nearly kill one his companions..... But then, the main character expected to find the bandits, sneak in, not kill anyone, find the captive and escape without being detected.. Need I say more? 

Chapter 24 is just... confusing. In regards to the dream I would say it needs to be rewritten. What is dream, what is reality, am I in the Matrix? These are questions that need to be answered. 

In regards to character development, which is your weakest area in my opinion. There needs to be more backstory from before he was reincarnated and how that effects his actions/mentality. Examples: How he was treated, the stories he was told, his death (his feelings at the time). 

 

Bottom line:

Do I enjoy this story: Yes

Will I keep reading this story: Yes

Can modifications be made to certain chapters so that they are more understandable: Yes

Is the main character at chapter 27 engaging: Yes (In varying degrees throughout)

Should you keep writing: Yes

PM me if you have any questions.