Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Sexual Content

Civilization ended for Seph a long time ago.

She’s learned well how to survive after being driven deep into the forests of Hessar to hide from her enemies, the blood-lusting Persots. And that should be enough!

Then what has her looking over her shoulder more and more often? Even her most comforting dreams are full of strangeness lately. After ages of calm, she’s tempted to abandon the safe haven she’s relied on. When an unexpected disappearance comes hot on the heels of a shocking discovery, Seph’s drive to save herself falters. Escape seems impossible now, and she’s convinced that her days are numbered.

But there are things she doesn’t know about. Things like holes ...The time to find out has arrived.

And as for escape, she’s really only had a taste.

An #alternative #portal fantasy, posting Wednesdays and Sundays - maybe more often if I can swing it.

***

The tags are there to be on the safe side. Hunting, predator attacks (usually tiny ones), nothing graphic. Characters, ahem ... interact sometimes ... not explicitly
The characters aren't human. Any similarities with folks, real or imaginary, are coincidental. Romance isn't much of a focus, but magic comes into the story later on. Generally lighter than darker and on the slice-of-life side - hope you enjoy it!

I'd love to hear from you. Constructive comments and ratings are ever so much appreciated! 

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Author
cmr

cmr

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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cafe_666
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Great premise, worldbuilding, and characters

Reviewed at: 15 - Snap

Overall, I've really been enjoying Holes, and I'm excited for the next update. I only regret not checking it sooner!

Grammar

Five stars here. If there's any issues with the grammar, I haven't noticed.

Style

The writing flows well, and adds to the story with small pieces of world building and insights into Seph's character.

Character

Seph feels very well developed and three dimensional, and the way that she contrasts with Kless does a great job at showing both of their characters. I also like the way that the different cultures of the characters influence how they act towards each other.  It's a relatively minor detail, but it goes a long way in adding realism.

 

Story

I wouldn't call the pacing either fast or slow. It's not constant action all the time, but there's always enough interest to keep you reading. Some time is spent on assessing the situation the characters are in, and showing their feelings and reactions toward changes. Personally, I think the pacing is a great fit, but what ideal pacing is can be somewhat subjective.

One thing that would benefit from some more explanation would be the way that the Rheen lived before, and some more insight into Seph's and Kless's lives before. I think hearing more about Rheen society would add some more gravity to their current situation.

Other thoughts

In some ways, I'm reminded of a Wrinkle in Time, or the His Dark Materials series (more specifically the Amber Spyglass), so if you're a fan of either of those, then I would highly recommend checking out Holes.

AlexaLee
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

An interesting premise

Reviewed at: 5 - Too Late

I think that this book is off to a good start but it is still too early to make any proper judgements as it's still in the introductory and world building stage.

Story

It's an interesing and fairly untouched premise which is really great and refreshing but I think the world needs to be fleshed out a little bit more! A lot of things were mentioned in passing without going into enough details to make me mourn for the Rheen but I think with some editing, you'd be able to ilicit more emotions!

The pace is a bit choppy and could do with further editing!

Style

The style is good, no real problems here. It's pretty well written but I think it would benefit from more emotional content or exploration of how Seph is managing.

Grammar

The grammar is mostly fine but there are a few issues like missing speech marks (in chapter 3, about half way down, when Nexim is speaking) or unnecessarily chopping sentences which can lead to issues with flow.

Characters

I like the characters so far! Seph seems like a strong but also understandably fearful character whereas Nexim seems like more of a gentle giant! As I said earlier, I think the characters would benefit from more emotional exploration to make them feel a little more real and fleshed out!

 

Overall, I like this story and I think you're off to a great start. You've created complex worlds and with a little more work, this could be really wonderful! 

ChaoticWolf
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The book has a good starting point and a fresh premise. Though it is still too early to make any concrete assumptions, I believe if it follows the same trend, the story would have a loyal reader in me.

Style

The story is still in the 'setting up the board' phase as I like to call it and has just started identifying its style. At the moment the style is good enough, giving a feeling of exploration and anger. It would be my personal preference though, but I believe a little tone of desolation might make the narrative even better.

Story

The story is captivating to say the least, well executed and makes one want to read more. The premise, as I already iterated is fresh and thought provoking. 

Grammar

The grammar is good and the story well written. Though there were a few issues like 'No hope. And no hopeless' line in chapter 3, none of them are glaring enough to reduce the reader experience.

Character

The characters are well written, mostly though there are a few inconsistencies, especially with Seph. For an example, in 3rd chapter, Seph already establishes Nexim as an unknown party, possibly hostile. But instead of being guarded against him, she wears her emotions on her sleeve and is quickly angered by a few words. It would have been ok if she was a brash person, but just in the next chapter she keeps her thoughts to herself when talking to Kless. Which shows that she understands how to deal with possibly hostile people and shows a glaring character inconsistentcy. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

The other characters except seph are too two dimensional, so much so that Nexim and Legenin both come across are each other's clones. The only bad trait we ever see about Nexim is through Seph's eyes and it is that he keeps asking her to lead her people back to Hessar. Which does not seem as a bad trait if one looks at it.

The whole race of gatherers also come of as a deus ex machina for the Rheen and I hope that in the future chapters the true reason of their help would be found.