Royal Princess of Blood
- Traumatising content
I died having a dagger stuck to my heart. I had no choice but to face and accept my death.
But when I woke up, I was in a different body.
They called me "Princess". Sure, cool.
Now, with this new life, I became a different person.
I am a pure and innocent princess. A beautiful and adorable maiden that must be protected.
A fragile princess. Delicate. Precious.
Those are what I am... well... not exactly... but I do act that way.
Cover Image Source: Arknights
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The writing style displayed in the first few chapters is nearly the exact opposite of "show don't tell"
I am on my phone, this it is difficult for me to pull quotes directly from the novel. But the entirety of what of read consits of "I did this", "They did that" statements. Author, I dont want you to tell me the glass is shattering and falling around the MC. Show me. Instead of "The glass shattered around me from gunshots."
Rather "The report of gunfire was echoed by the sound of shattering glass, instincts tools over, as I hunkered under the deluge of the razor-like shards"
It is more challenging to "show" rather then "tell" when writing from the past tense, 1st person point of view.
Please do not take this harshly author, but I would recomend comparing your sentence structure and style to stories you enjoy.
You have quite a few paragraphs in just the first chapter that read like anchildrens novel.
"I shot the guy in the head"
"The guy fell down"
"I escaped pursuit, leaving a trail of bloodshed, due to my skills"
A children's book reads similar.
"Pat hugged the dog"
"The dog licked Pat"
"Pat chased the dog around the house, because he was fast"
Avoid repeatedly using sentences that begin with "I 'verb' something" especially multiple times in the same paragraph, back to back.
Honestly I consider first person perspective rather difficult myself, so dont beat yourself up, I'll check back in on this story and edit or remove this review as merited.
The story is rather difficult to read.
There are many places where it is repetitive. Where some action or word is spoken, then the FPPOV repeats it narratively.
There are a lot of awkwardly phrased sentences. And synonym word swaps that don't work.
The pacing is very slow. First ten chapters all in day 1.
The characters are fairly flat, but what little there is is often contradictory. This is especially a problem with the protagonist who has almost no self awareness. She often thinks one thing, and then does another. She often prides herself on certain skills, but so far all usage of those skills is rather terrible. All in all, it's rather frustrating.
Not sure what the plot is. As noted, it's very slow paced with ten chapters covering one day. There's some hints when we switch POV about some bigger conspiracy, but the conspirators seem childish.
I really like this story and came to support the author here. I like how the main characters thoughts are so different from the way she acts and how she isn't an idot. I'm tired of stupid heriones who just trust people right off the bat. I think that people should give this story a chance.