[Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
Chapters 1-25 were written for writeaton, so aren't as polished as they could be. Be forgiving.
Dash is a cursed man, forced to move from place to place. Unable to find a way to break the curse, Dash travels the world in search of power, magic, and myths to break the magic of the deep gods that compels him. From mysterious forests, ancient runes and peoples, to the everpresent Labyrinth beneath the earth, if Dash catches the scent of a cure, he'll do whatever it takes. Hopefully he can do some good along the way, fingers crossed.
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This story was a fun one.
Style: This story oozes the author's unique approach to storytelling. I very much got absorbed with how fluid, witty, and generally enjoyable the whole experience has been so far.
Story: For how much there is, the story keeps chugging along. As well as the current timeline, there's one hiding under the surface, poking its head out of the sand every so often. It's intriguing. There are constant implications and hints of things to come and things that have passed that make me keep reading feverishly. I binged it all in search for answers, but when answers are provided, they're presented in a way that doesn't disclose too much information. Massively infuriating, but it kept me reading through the story, excited for the next development or speck of information I could parse from the content. I think this is only second to Characters and the way the author handles each one.
A great read.
Grammar: Only spot I could really take off. More than a couple times, I had to stop and reread entire paragraphs, had to double take at missing words in a sentence, or other small things that would break immersion.
I'm very critical of grammar, but by and large, this story reads easily enough. The story and characters more than make up for it.
Character: DUUUUDE. Without a question, this is why I read every last word available in less than an hour. Dash - in another life known as Duke Ardashir Altandran - is very relatable. Everything about him makes me want to keep reading. The way he thinks, the internal struggles he faces, everything. I don't believe anybody's age is explicitly stated, but he comes off as in his late forties, maybe early fifties.
Ka'non? Master sword prodigy with a healthy appreciation for battle stemming from his devotion to forever temper himself as heir.
The way the supporting cast of Jass, Clyde, Count Orleander, the Baron, and Kayle are brought to life as their individual personalities, all driven by personal goals in a way that is completely independent of whatever the MC does, is just -
The title is self explanatory. I want more.
There are several things not covered in the above topics. The way the world building is done is seamless and consistent. The author is sure of his world. Their magic system is super duper fun to read about.
At the risk of beating the dead horse, I'll shut up now.
Read. It's worth it.
Style: Consistent, fun to read, pretty in depth when needed but knows when to hold back. Nothing major pulled me out of the story as it progressed, has a good flow overall. Good as always.
Story: A fair few threads poking out already, but most of them seem purposeful rather than accidental. Still not entirely sure where it's going, but seems like the author has a good idea of where it will end up.
Grammar: Some slight issues, mostly incorrect words or odd phrasing, but still better than most of the other free web novels you'd read. Only slightly pulled me out once or twice, likely because I was in edit mode. Most would likely miss or skim the few things I spotted, so full (comparative) marks.
Character: Each of the characters seem to be actual people, which is refreshing. They might not like or agree with each other, but their decisions make sense based upon who they are in the world. Overall, a good start.
Overall Score: Entertaining, consistent, and fun. A good one to give a go to, especially as the author has promised a set amount to be completed at least by the end of the writeathon. :)
It says it isn't perfect grammar-wise on the tin, but I'd say it's pretty darn close!
No spending precious seconds pondering what was said or scratching your head at strange sentence structure and verbage here!
Only a few misspelled words here and there, nothing too big, only what would slip through the auto-correct.
Anyway, decent plotline with a actual pace, no slice of life adventure here. Most of the world-building is done via the MC commenting about current events in passing. It meets the sweet middle ground between overly-expository and completely useless in terms of information.
Good characters that aren't just sterotypes. Many characters seem to have a background, or at least some deviations to the norm. You also get a good mix of characters as well, mostly nobles, soldiers, and adventurer types, but it's a good fit for the story. Plenty of differing traits between characters, no 'useless noble #3' here.
You can't use tropes to predict what's going to happen like in 90% of these stories either. The amount of eyerolls I've had to do in other stories...
The switch from laid-back to serious was well done, and a good use of style overall. It matched the plotline well for a beginning arc.
Here's hoping for the top of the trending page!
The locked comments are kinda annoying though...
In my humble opinion in regards to Doom's current work.
Thank you for the chapter. This is what I've come to expect from this author. I'm entertained by his tales.
I have enjoyed the story so far, and hope it continues. That's it. I'm enjoying the story.
Take your 5 star rating. Keep writing. Keep creating.
This story has it all: character growth, amazing lore, characters that are both interesting and sympathetic, mysterious history and deseptively direct goals.
And the cherry on top is the frequent updates, I really hope to see it on tranding in the next couple of days.
The only thing that bothers me is the locked comments for the chapters, reading the comments is part of the experience.