Lu Xia seemed like a nice girl...
...If you actually forgot the fact that she was in reality a Demonic Practitioner in disguise.
I mean, she was actually pretty good at chores.
A little clumsy here and there, but still a good maid who had a good relationship with the other staff.
She'd make a good wif- *Smack!* No, me, she wouldn't. Have you forgotten who she is?
But she's so cute though...? *Smack!* You think every girl in existence is cute. Just die already.
...Since when did I start being so harsh on myself?
"Papa, why are you hitting yourself?"
"Papa has a problem."
"You do...?" She asked cutely while sitting on my lap. A popular rock candy on a stick in her mouth.
"How many moms do you want?"
"The more, the merrier!"
"That's ma girl!" I'm so proud of her. Is there a tear in my eye...? I feel I'm gonna cry out of pure bliss.
"You better not be teaching my little angel anything strange." A third party butted into the conversation.
"Papa was having a problem."
"Oh, are you?" She stared at me, waiting for some answer to what my little girl was talking about.
"...Let's put that to the side. Right now should be my time with Little Tao, so why are you here?"
"There's something that needed to be brought up."
"Like the fact that Luo Taoming is... a genuine Sword Spirit." I didn't like the topic already.
"It doesn't matter anyway."
"I'm bringing it up because it DOES matter."
"Does Aunt Fei not like me anymore?" Little Tao seemed to be tearing up. Luo Fei consoled her:
"It's not like that. I'm just worried about you." Now this sounded important. What did she mean?
"Sword Spirits are spiritual in nature. You can keep treating her like a normal child, but that's a form of neglect." She grabbed my collar and growled at me like a mama bear. Since when were they so close?
But her words seem agreeable...
It's only now did I realise that I'd been insisting on my attitude without even consulting Little Tao first.
She may have been 'born' recently, but Sword Spirits were more intelligent than lowly mortals.
They wouldn't really require parents...
"Little Tao..." I looked at her apologetically, but she didn't seem to mind my actions whatsoever.
"Papa is Papa after all."
"My angel, is being a 'girl' a choice or something he forced on you?" Luo Fei suddenly ejected me out of the conversation. She held Little Tao's hands and acted like I was air, making me a little annoyed.
"Papa didn't force anything on me. I wanted to be a girl myself, so my 'ability' let's me be a real girl."
"So you CHOSE to be a girl then? Why?"
"I like dressing up, and girls don't be looked at weirdly when they dress up. That's it... Really!"
"What about your 'cycles'?"
"Ahem... Papa is still here."
"...Anyway, I just quickly take care of them."
"What about eating food? Spirits don't have tast-"
"Aunt Fei, the answer is in front of you." She lost her childish tone for a second. The answer to her question was obvious, so it was only natural my daughter wouldn't have the patience to tell her.
"Tao, her vessel sword, has the unique ability called the 'Fertility Goddess'. She has every normal function of a human being, with the added bonus of being a Sword Spirit." Her current form should say as much. There isn't much of a difference here.
"So her ability is turning into a human?"
"Wait! Little Tao, you mustn't tell her-!" *Shing* My blade, Sea Splitter, was once again on my neck.
Why did she have such expertise in pulling out MY sword?! Was this becoming a habit of hers?
"My angel, tell your Aunt Fei everything..." There was no way to stop my embarrassing secret from leaking. The only thing I could do was turn my head in shame as Little Tao innocently explained it.
"My form is just side-effect. The REAL ability of Tao is passively effecting Papa all the time now."
"I don't see any outward change. So it's internal?"
"Fertility Goddess blesses the wielder with higher fertility. It's officially called 'Surrogate Potency'."
"But he's a guy though...?" Now I really wanted to bury my head underground. Little Tao started whispering my ability to her, and Luo Fei's eyes widened with each word. Then she stepped away...
This was to be expected. I mean, 'Surrogate Potency' was a sexual gift from the heavens.
Not only did it let me stockpile a near limitless supply of jizz, but it's potency was on another level entirely. Women who drink my 'milk' would gain a higher chance of becoming pregnant, while birth control was nothing in front of my mighty seeds...
Even an infertile woman would get pregnant. That's how insanely 'potent' my manhood had become!
It was also the reason I was averse with getting into any kinky shenanigans with Lu Xia. If one thing went wrong, I didn't want to have to take care of a child that wasn't intended to come into the world.
One reason I really hated the 'illegitimate' title was because I was one myself. Daddy Kang was a idiot!
He went and knocked up a princess. Even though the two of them eventually married, there was still a time I had to wear the title of 'illegitimate child' around the neighbourhood. No one liked me...
Mom gave up her position as princess to be with Dad, but I always felt it was a loss on her side.
If it weren't for me, wouldn't someone as strong as my mom eventually turn into a great Empress?
It always weighed on my heart greatly...
That's why I wanted to make sure stuff like that never happened when it came to my own children.
I wanted all of them to be 'legitimate' and accepted in society. Never will I let them be needlessly hurt.
"Never bring it up again." I told the both of them. It was uncomfortable for them to talk about my rod...
"Agreed." Luo Fei didn't hesitate to nod her head with Little Tao. It wasn't that interesting of a topic.
When we went our separate ways, I went back to spying on Lu Xia using my supreme Peeking Art!
Momma Kang said this originated from the 'Eyes of the Shadow' Technique used by Royal Assassins.
Maybe that's why she didn't notice me at all...
However, who knew that as the days went by. That one person would catch on to what I was doing.
*Shing* It became a habit have my companion sword stolen these days. This wasn't a good habit.
"Why are you are you stalking her?" Her eyes were saying that she'd kill me if I said one thing wrong.
Fortunately, the maid saved me by walking around the corner of the corridor we hid. She saw us and was speechless momentarily. Maybe it was because Luo Fei had no notion of personal space.
She pinned me to a wall, leaning on me while grabbing my collar. The scene looked a little like-
"Ummm... I'm sorry for interrupting." The maid's embarrassment seemed to pass onto Luo Fei.
She turned red in the face at that moment.
"Errr... Miss Fei?"
"Don't you dare leave! Nothing is happening..." The ponytailed woman insisted with MY sword drawn.
Lu Xia immediately stopped. She probably felt the power of my sword causing all her hairs to stand.
When in doubt, start bullshitting.
"...Actually, she tried seducing me yesterday. That act had been causing my fragile heart to waver lately." I spoke like a victim of circumstance. Like a tragic protagonist who never knew love himself.
On top of that, I used my secret technique: 'The Handsome Flowing Hair' Art, to boost my charm.
The air from the east that naturally makes one's hair neither get messy or cover the face, THAT was my secret technique! It had been passed down Daddy Kang lineage, all to be used at this moment.
The only thing was... Luo Fei didn't care. Her eyes still looked at me with derision and clear contempt.
"Ha?! Someone seducing you? Don't-"
"Ummm, it's actually the truth."
"You say what now?" The ponytailed woman almost dropped the sword, she looked at Lu Xia carefully.
"...So it wasn't his fault?"
"Ahem..." The maid cleared her throat, then shook her head vigorously: "...It really DOES make sense."
Please don't notice it. Luo Fei, please don't notice the obvious pride the servant has over her looks.
Why is this maid so clumsy as a Demonic Practitioner?! Does she really want to die?
Although my sword wasn't suited for her, the Supreme Yang Divine Physique was a gift of Gods!
Going against it usually doesn't end well...
Suddenly, Luo Fei turned her head and looked at the maid seriously. Her eyes as sharp as swords.
Did she already find out?
She walked up the girl. Her eyes seemed filled with anger before grabbing the girl's shoulders.
Then she opened her mouth to ask:
"What do you like about this guy?"
"He's a bundle of lust. A scummy piece of trash who'd do anything for power." Wow, that hurt...
Is that what you thought of me? It's painful to hear.
"B-but the Young Master has good points!" You think I do?! Lu Xia's words brightened my mood.
However, Luo Fei seemed to be taking this personally. She pointed at her and inquired:
"Name his 'good points' then." Looking at the clear anticipation, she wasn't able to back out of this.
Her lips trembled before she could answer:
"He's handsome." She's right. I AM a handsome guy, aren't I? She really knows her stuff.
"That's superficial, it doesn't count."
"Tyrants can also be 'strong'."
"He reads books a lot."
"Being a mere bookworm isn't a positive."
"Then what about you? What's not to like?" Was I actually being defended by a maid right now...?
"He's a big pervert."
"I don't mind at all." That's because you're a pervert yourself! You're definitely a Succubus!
"He's hard to predict."
"Everyone's hard to predict to me though." That's because you're stupid! Stupid!! STUPID!!!
I had to say that three times to be clear...
"But most of all, he's my hated enemy!" Wait, isn't that your personal opinion? Also, that hurts...!
She continued by asking: "So what's so good about him anyway? What's else can you say is 'good'?"
"You've said that already." Wait, so she DID fall for my face? I'm actually a little embarrassed by that.
She calls me 'handsome' too easily...
Wait, why am I embarrassed? I already knew my looks were dashing from the beginning. Isn't that why I could use it earlier? Don't fall into her damn honey trap tactics! It's a big ploy! Don't fall for it!
There's no way in hell a Demonic Practitioner can be this ditzy and adorable! There's just no way!
Perish the thought of that!
...Actually, wasn't Bai Lingyun an enemy of the Orthodox Way now? Could I really say that?
A typhoon was blowing in my head...
"...He has a big manhood!" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING HER?! Hey, don't look at me...!
"How does she know that?"
"I wonder... Wait, what's it to you anyway? It's not like your my girlfriend or anything. I can have a relationship with a maid all I want!" It was only after saying those words did I wish to slap my mouth.
"You want a relationship with... a maid?"
"We're gonna have a relationship?" Lu Xia, why are your eyes sparkling? Did you forget your objective?
There's no way you wouldn't be found out if you assassinated me. You would be the ONLY culprit!
"Papa...?" Little Taoming finally found us. Then she looked at me and asked: "Is she my Mama too?"
"No! She's not your 'Mama'. Never!" I quickly corrected her before she got a misunderstanding.
When my eyes shifted to Lu Xia's face, she looked like a myriad of complicated thoughts went through her head. Was she actually moved? No, that can't be right. She's supposed to be a demonic evildoer.
"She's not..." My little girl asked sadly.
"Ah... Want some rock candy?"
"Yay! Gimme!" Little Tao instantly became happier, and I took that opportunity to escape from here.
The mood was getting too awkward...