I Asked For Tendies But My Mother Didn't Buy Them So I Fought Her Mutated Final Form With My Mech

by viciouspentagram

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

What happens when a man desires a pancake and tendies but receives only existential dread?

Johnny will soon find out.

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viciouspentagram

viciouspentagram

Tendies

Achievements
Group Leader (III)
I Am Taking Off (IV)
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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
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Vitaly S Alexius
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Died reading this, reincarnated as chicken tendies

Reviewed at: Chicken Tendies

My story diving engine emerged amidst a battle of titans, a tale as prodigal as time itself - one of mother and son, a familial struggle for consumption, prevalent across space and time wherever humanity emerges.

This story is a delicious narrative of interest and I will expand further upon this review if I am not fully devoured by this story's protagonist.

Alas, it appears that the hero of this intrepid work is truly determined to feast and draws ever near to my person. Not even his mother's wraith can stop him in his epic, divine quest.

Gods help me! Why don't chicken tendies have legs? What use is the System message that promises me the power of being "delicious"?

. . .

But, let us delve deeper into the meaning of all of this. Is it a marketing campaign for KFC? Is this book a meme of some sort?

Nay, this tale of the tendies was born from the mouths of two young bard heroes that found each other in the Silver Pen pub. Their friendship has spawned everything you read here and more. Were these heroes drunk? Were they hungry for chicken? We'll never know. What we do know is that they strived for glory, like any bard does when they sing a silly, wholesome song that utterly lacks rhyme and reason.

Grammatically, I found the ballad of "I Asked For Tendies" fair and sound.

I do hope it will last longer than one chapter, because the dreary, heartless hiatus looms particularly heavily over all collective authorship concept-based works such as this one.

Origin, The Creator
Overall

It wasn't me.

I want no part of this.

But, I'm responsible. 

I'm an adult.

I will assume responsibility whether I like it or not.

I don't. 

This story is an inspired collaboration, because I am truly the most awesome inspiration ever.

If you want a wild ride--well, you got it.

Pancakes!

Tendies!

Final Boss Mom!

Bite the tender, shed a tear.

Was it worth it?

Was it?

Traitorman
Overall

The Fiction that Defeated Royal Road

Reviewed at: Chicken Tendies

I have reviewed a bunch of fictions in my day...but ignore all those.

All fiction is irrelevant. 
Royal Road is irrelevant.

Tendies is the plucky protagonist that rose up from the ashes to defeat the final boss. It is the best fiction ever made. Royal Road is over. No more stat screens. No more puns. No more progression.

No more cultivation.

Roll credits folks, and tell the administration to close the site. It's over. At last, the nightmare is over.

So anyway, 5/5

Kevin Huynh
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Chicken are also birds

Reviewed at: Chicken Tendies

This fiction was all I needed to cure me of my depression!

Let me preface it. I didn't know what tendies were before I read this amazing fiction but after reading it I finally knew what was missing in my life. Tendies, of course.

Now, will I visit the colonel in the next thirty minutes to get some tendies? I probably will. Should you? Certainly so.

That out of the way, let us focus on the fiction itself.

Style: In my mind, there are two immortal bards. Shakespeare wrote history with his gripping stories about love and humanity. Viciouspentagram did the same with their masterwork "I Asked For Tendies But My Mother Didn't Buy Them So I Fought Her Mutated Final Form With My Mech". 

It set new standards for English prose.

Grammar: I had no issues with the grammar

Story: You would think that tendies weren't worth any fiction. or that the fiction only will have one chapter. But I know in my tender bird meat that the author will continue this fiction for a long long long time. There are rumors the author tries to toss The Writing Inn from the throne o the longest story.

Character: the only issue I have with the characters is that I'm worried that they get diabetes. To be fair, I fear the same for the author. Their love is unnatural. But no condom would protect them from the suffering of diabetes. So I hope the characters and the author keep that in mind.

With that I'm happy that I get to witness the future Nr. 1 fiction of royal road.

Mother of learning, Beware of Chicken pack your things. the time for I Asked For Tendies But My Mother Didn't Buy Them So I Fought Her Mutated Final Form With My Mech has come!

FillerArc
Overall

11/10 would read drugs again

Reviewed at: Chicken Tendies

11/10 would read again!

As a child, I would often gaze at the moonless skies, wondering what it would feel like to read Drugs.

I now know.

But now I know too much. And the Tendies come for me. Pray for my soul mortals, for soon, I will be no more. 

If you're reading this, please call he......

MrSpooks
Overall

I don't know where I am, but it is a dark place full of untold horrors and mystical monsters created solely to fuel death.

This is odd and I can't tell why I did this...

Weird compulsions aside you should read it, you will feel strange but utterly fulfilled in all of your desires by the end of it.

IsaacF
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The greatest epic in all of history

Reviewed at: Chicken Tendies

This is a 41 piece grand epic about a small young boy, thrown against fate by the cruelest fate imaginable. This story is a true tear-jerker. Fighting his Mother for the purest thing possible. Everything just clicks, perfect understanding is what you feel. the characters feel almost like they are jumping off the page. Each place seems like it is really there, right in front of you. Truly words can not describe how much of a masterpiece this creation is, I would say it surpasses The Lord of the Rings in it's spectacular worldbuilding. Each plot twists keeps you reeling. The closest I can even get to emulating the pure genius at play is the pathetic trash you are reading. The only real way to understand is to look at it yourself. I sincerely hope that each part gets a full feature length film, as that is the only way to truly adapt it. viciouspentagram is a true genius, he managed to create this. I would not be surprised if the concept was created by God himself. Amazingly this entire epic was created with such a simple concept. I doubt this could ever be surpased , in fact I think that this may mark the birth of an entire new genre. In 1000 years from now, they will agree, this is when the golden age of humanity began.

KrazeKode
Overall

A compelling and complex tale of Family vs Dreams

Reviewed at: Chicken Tendies

There are many stories great stories on RR, many that have taken the site by storm, and continues to do so. I believe that this is one such story. A tale, nay an epic saga of a man that is made to face a difficult choice. 

A conflict of the heaven's desires, of one's heart and dreams, and of that which brought us into the world. Family and Desires clash in this epic battle that answers a very important question, that society had always needed to ask. There are no easy answers here, only a mess of emotions and choices we made along the way. 

Gennon Asche
Overall

We often come across great novels on Royalroad. From Beware of Chicken to Mother of Leaning, there are amazing, genre-defining fictions no matter which direction we look.

However, despite their gripping plots, sympathizable characters, and immersive worldbuilding, they all seem to evade the prevailing questions of our era, one among them more important than the others: How does a man react upon learning of his mother's negligence in buying tendies?

Viciouspentagram seeks to answer that query in this ground-breaking psychological study.

sontagisme
Overall

Meh. Average, middle-of-the-road, RR fare

Reviewed at: Chicken Tendies

So I know this is the new fic that everyone on this website has decided to start RAVING about, but I'm that one reviewer who comes in to shut down the party. What's my deal? Am I an author jealous of other people's success, or just a reader who has read so many LN that they can no longer distinguish between machine translations and published novels? It's irrelevant.

Whats relevant is that this story is full of plot armor, just FULL of it. Don't ask me what that means or how it relates to the story—but let me tell you—the plot armor...is TOO MUCH.

Also, the MC is a total wimp. I had to read over 1,000 words before the idiot blasted his mom into tendie-smithereens. If I was the MC (and I expressly read webnovels in order to live vicariously through the MCs), I would have reduced her to breadcrumbs in the first paragraph. But who am I to tell the author how to write their story? Oh, wait, I'm a RR reader, that is expressly my purpose for being on this website.

Grammer was okay btu not the best, so I had to drop the scor a bit for taht.