Wizard's Tower

by Allanther

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Traumatising content

The humans call me Nemon Fargus.  They call me wizard, and [Elementalist] and [Enchanter].  They call me teacher.  They call me adventurer.  

But I don't care.  Not anymore.  For more than a hundred and fifty years I've served the Kingdom of Sena.  Through four Kings and a Queen.  Two wars and a rebellion.  I've founded and taught at a magic school.  I've fought against beast waves and dungeon breaks.

But now?  Now, the one close friend I had left has passed.  So, I'm done with their politics and their economics.  The short and busy lives of humans are more burden than benefit on the weary soul of this half-elf.  Now, I'm looking for a refuge, a place that can well and truly be my own.  Away from the growing cities and the bustling markets, away from the pointless wars, away from the eager students and the arrogant adventurers.  It's too much.  

I'm seeking the peaceful life of a wizard in his tower, studying magic to advance my spellcraft.  We'll see if that happens.

Author's housekeeping:

This story is a rough draft.  Feel free to point out errors, grammatical, spelling, plot, etc.  

This is a slow burn novel, but will only ever be told from one POV.  (Exception: rare interlude chapters will be told from a different pov, but won't impact storyline).

How well this story is received by readers here will determine if I continue writing.

I hope you enjoy!

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  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
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Allanther

Allanther

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drakan_glasses BE NICE! Fair critique is fair, but be respectful & follow the review rules. There will be no mercy.
Reviews
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forged
Overall

Slow burn, strong mage, very good

Reviewed at: Chapter 8

As advertised, this is very much a slow-burn story. It presents the difficulties of outliving everything around you very well, and the worldbuilding is masterful - little in the way of infodumps here. The writing, while still ostensibly a rough draft, shows a high degree of refinement and it is a very pleasant read, and easy to get lost in. I  highly recommend this story.

KamikazePotato
Overall

Apathetic wizard yells at kids to get off his lawn

Reviewed at: Chapter 18

Where the 'kids' in question are people younger than him - which is everyone.

The greatest strength of Wizard's Tower is how it portrays the internal thought process of someone who's outlived everyone he's met in his youth by decades, and will continue to outlive almost everyone else around him. He avoids forming emotional bonds, can't remember names as they all blur together, and prefers isolation instead of getting caught up in the political bullshit that someone of his strength inevitably will. As a result, he feels extremely disconnected from society, one where everyone he emotionally invested himself into is dead and where his greatest accomplishments have been largely forgotten.

Another thing the story does very well is worldbuilding. Scenes are depicted in great detail, allowing you to easily create an image of the surroundings in your head. Extensive behind-the-scenes care has obviously been put into the innerworkings of the world and its history. There's also an interesting tonal dissonance caused by the world being filtered through the main character's head; he has little to worry about due to how powerful he is, which can almost make you gloss over the little details the narrative gives about the world that informs the reader of how dark and dangerous a place it can be if you aren't an overpowered wizard.

It's definitely a slow burn, especially at the start, but if that's the kind of story that you enjoy then this should be right up your alley.

TickleMeStalin
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The author's story synopsis is absolutely, delightfully accurate. This is a slice of life story from the perspective of a wizard of godlike power who is so tired of the kids on his lawn that he has to move to the middle of a swamp in a backwater country just to get some peace of mind. The story is wonderful, with base building, enchanting, politics, wizard fashion, magical experimentation, and character development. The grumpy old man humor is balanced by a tragedy that reminds me of the Pixar film Up.

I love all those things above, especially since the main character starts at the top of the power scale instead of the bottom. Rather than trying to make a name for himself, he's trying (and utterly failing) to escape his own power and fame and pursue a life free of responsibility and duty. The mechanics of being an experimental wizard are lovingly explored, and along side the mc's students, we are treated to learned and philosophical lessons on magical theory and how the world works. 

The minor characters that the wizard encounters and surrounds himself with are charming and memorable, and the limited interactions we're able to witness suggest that they have rich lives of their own. 

The real payoff in this work is the main character. He's so old that he's almost entirely forgotten what it's like to not wield godlike power, and as a result (despite a deep well of patronizing kindness) he fumbles when trying to empathize with others. He is suffering under (and not dealing with) an absolutely crushing grief, and the portrayal of his depression and shock are very subtle and realistic. He struggles to not overreact with apocalyptic force to every setback and minor frustration he suffers during his days, and for the most part he is able to treat the people around him with a sort of stiff, patronizing kindness, when he's not obliterating them without remorse. 

Style: I'm a fan of the unreliable narrator. Enough clues are provided that I'm able to read between the lines when the wizard comes to the wrong conclusions about people and their motives, despite him being an extremely astute judge of character. 

Story: There isn't much of an overarching plot. Mainly it's a bunch of people's motivations bumping into each other in a believable way. Slice of life is accurate. 

Grammar: Minor mistakes of word choice that would be fixed without effort by an editor. Nothing that breaks immersion. 

Character: I'm loving these characters, from the main right down to the throwaway merchant who shows up for a few paragraphs. 

I highly recommend this story. 

Fnord13
Overall

Even powerful wizards get entangled in politics

Reviewed at: Chapter 12

The MC is a powerful and experienced Half Elven wizard. He's learned a lot over the last two hundred years, but now he's tired of the follies of Humans, and wants to retire to a secluded Wizard's Tower where he can conduct magical research in peace. And where better to build that Tower than the isolated swamp where his Human mother once had her Wizard's Tower?

But his old home may be less isolated than he expects, especially given his own habit of magically building infrastructure. The local Duke needs a lot of money for some mysterious reason, and wants him to buy the title of Baron. Joining the nobility is the last thing he's interested in, but he may find that it can be harder to excape from politics than from even the biggest giant spider. 

TheNorns
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Decent but lacking

Reviewed at: Chapter 33

This is a hard one to rate. The style, grammar, etc. are all actually pretty good for a RR story, it just seems to be lacking something that's hard to identify initially. In the last few chapters, I've realized what it is: I just can't really bring myself to care about the characters.

Character score: I think one of the issues is that the main character doesn't especially care about anyone other than his friend who dies in the second paragraph of the story. Because the story is first person and the narrator doesn't care about anyone, that apathy extends somewhat to me as a reader as well. We aren't given enough detail and interaction to begin forming deep relationships with any characters other than the main character. There's a little girl who I feel like I'm supposed to love, but I just don't really care about her. Characters need to have meaningful interactions with each other for me to see who they are and why I should care, and most of the MC's interactions are dry teaching.

The main character is also suppressing his own emotions, which I realize can lead to an arc of character growth, but it leaves him feeling somewhat flat and boring. Unfortunately, when that arc of growth involves at least the first 30 chapters, it leaves me without much desire to continue reading. I realize that he's a centuries-old half-elf, so his emotional response should be different than your standard young and plucky MC, but it hasn't been done well enough for me to get past the apathy.

Story score: Instead of having deep characters, this often tries to be more plot-driven, with base-building, training up younger wizards, and experimenting on monsters. However, the conflict has also been somewhat boring, easily resolved by the main character with no real struggle. The base-building is decent, but we haven't been given much of a reason to care about his base and how it's constructed. His defenses have fended off a few monsters, but it's made clear that the MC could easily have smashed them himself. This is another thing that can be done well, but falls a little flat here. If you're going to have a powerful MC who can easily resolve conflict, then characterization or some other interest should be front and center.

Style and grammar: However, we're still going with 3/5 stars as an overall rating. The style is decent, the prose is pretty good, and the grammar has been good (I'd even say excellent by RR standards - no major typos, wrong words, or egregious comma abuse that I've noticed). The style does suffer from heavy-handed info-dumps, but overall isn't terrible. If you like powerful MC's and base building, give it a shot. It's definitely not for everyone, though.

ShiftingSand90
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The Effects of a Long Life

Reviewed at: Chapter 16

Reviewed at chapter 16.

This is a slice of life with some land-developing, political intrigue, and with adventuring and dungeons also having their place. The MC has lived for a long time, and still has long life ahead of him, and we meet him during a major life change.

The characterization is done well. The MC wants to separate himself from society, but many of his actions contradict that. Rather than being hypocritical, this instead reveals a person who is disappointed in what he’s seen, but not completely pessimistic about what could be. Despite being a long lived being, the MC hasn’t stagnated, nor does he revert backward. This MC still has room to grow, and they keep making small steps forward, which is refreshing to see. The other characters around him are well flushed out and have their developments as well.

The grammar and prose are both excellent, and even though it is a rough draft, whatever typos are there are minimal, and the author is also very proactive in fixing these. This is high quality writing.

In terms of style, the author takes the time to describe the world around the characters. Those who dislike paragraphs of exposition might have difficulty with this story, but the world is interesting enough and the details are written well and have their purpose.

As this is the slice of life genre, the story is unfolding at its own pace. The author is great at laying groundwork in advance, with there being many ways the story could go. There is enough shown so far to get excited about what will come after.

I recommend this story to anyone who enjoys the genres presented.

Guardsman
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Great slow burn with fantastic MC

Reviewed at: Chapter 29

Reviewed at Chapter 29.

In so many LitRPG's, the main character can seem blank emotionally, which is why this story is a breath of fresh air. Like The Retired S Ranked Adventurer, the MC is jaded, and filled with regrets, but also finds a new purpose in building something of their own. Normally, I don't like the slow burners, but here the character, although already strong, shows some potential for improvement, both as a person and as a [Elementalist], with his quest for longevity being a great long-term goal.

The crafting of this system is unique as well, with new features going into the deciding of one's class. This dynamic style, along with the fact that the MC doesn't have some stupidly rare and completely broken class makes the story intriguing, as although Nemon hasn't faced any true challenge, it is implied that he isn't the most powerful being in the world, a trap many stories fall into.

Although the author always puts rough draft at the top of their chapters, they feel like they have been professionally reviewed and edited many times over, a credit to the talent of Allanther. Overall, the grammer is neat, and everything fits in place, with not obvious punctuation, spelling, or other errors.

Story and style go hand in hand, and this author does great with the correct amount of world-building and magic description. They don't fall into the nitty-gritty of spellforms, but at the same time providing enough information that the reader isn't confused at what Fargus is doing.

Overall, these five stars are more than well deserved, and I really do hope Allanther continues it after May 5, it will definitely be on both my favorites and follow list (make sure to pace yourself, though, if you're reading this. It would be a shame to see such a great story come to an abrupt end because of burnout).

Keifru
Overall

Crotchety Wizard Meddles In Fun

Reviewed at: Chapter 35

This story overall is quite a bit of light fun. Its a LitRPG, but doesn't really focus on that. No 'numbers go up'-itus. The worldbuilding we're fed is quite fun and it doesn't feel forced.

Nothing comes to mind as far as problems unless you just don't like slice-of-life stories.

CookieCrumble
Overall

An enjoyable read. A realistic characterization.

Reviewed at: Chapter 33

Wizard's tower is your standard fantasy novel following a middle-aged half-elf mages that tired of living in human society and decide that it's time for him to e̶x̶i̶l̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶  build him a wizard tower.

Without spoiling too much, the story itself was an enjoyable read that keeps you on the edge of your seat wondering what would happen next. It depicts a realistic main character's personality and thought process of how someone would be affected if they were to outlive all their friends and families.

If I'd be allowed to nitpick is that the story was formatted for a standard 50% width PC browser. On the mobile is a huge wall of text that leave spacing between paragraph a lot to be desired. 

With that being said, I do recommend you give this story a try. Especially those who want to know what realistic thought process of older person and its joyful mix of patience, decisiveness, caring, and moment of strong opinions.

Aalan
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Excellent Writing!

Reviewed at: Chapter 33

So, if it is true and this is the author's first work and a "rough draft" as well, I must say that I am indeed extremely impressed by the quality overall. The author has done an amazing job in building up not only the main character, but in slowly filling in the world's history and lore as well. While some try to do this, they often fail by diving far too deep and providing huge data dumps that are hard to swallow. Not so here.

I gave the style four stars because, in general, I find that books written in first person can be difficult to follow long term, even though they are much easier for the author to write. Just put yourself in the position of the main character and run with it. It is more challenging to write in third person, but allows the reader to appreciate it more, and imagine what is going on as if they were present.

Grammar has been rated as four-and-a-half stars. Overall, I have not noticed any glaring mispellings or mistakes in grammar. This is amazing, in and of itself. But I was so enthralled by the story that I could have missed them.

Story score and character score are both five stars. Anything that can enthrall me like this so I immediately binge read it to its current chapter would get at least four stars for story and probably character as both are integral to the other. What pushes this over, is the fact that the author has a system, but does not pound the stats over and over with each minor change, and indeed never even provides the stats at all. The system is referenced, but the character and his story is far more important than the crunch the stats would provide.

I highly applaud the author's efforts and suggest to all of you reading this review that you take a moment and read the first few chapters. I doubt you will stop your reading there.