The Vitaean Chronicles - Volume I: The Sanguine Prince
- Sexual Content
- Traumatising content
NOTE: Chapters 02 - 19 are currently slated for review and rewrite following the Conclusion of Act I. Please bear this in mind!
When tragedy strikes Arcturus Valoura, he is ripped from his carefree existence and thrown into a world of politics and peril, where today's friend is tomorrow's foe.
Bereft of the knowledge and skills needed to survive in his new reality, he will need to find his place within a realm that mixes magic and science in impossible ways.
He will need to learn the secrets of the mysterious System that allows him to guide his potential for growth even as he struggles to unlock the powers needed to keep himself alive.
In the darkest, and most desolate places of an ancient land he will have to find the answers to forbidden questions, and terrible secrets long purged from the histories of mankind.
And in so doing, shake the very foundations of reality itself.
Release Schedule: Tuesdays (I may post on off-days if I get a lot done).
Advanced Chapters available on Patreon starting May 4th 2021.
Discord Community: https://discord.gg/3tHKHAx7Ye
The Vitaean Chronicles are a debut LitRPG High Fantasy series written with the intent of filling a niche I've yet to see filled anywhere else. This is my first novel of this kind, so please be patient with me.
Throughout this story, I will endeavour to create an evolving and expansive narrative anchored around believable characters, compelling plotlines, and a consistent and sensible magic system.
The purpose of this work is to create what I believe to be a relatively unique piece of fiction, drawing inspiration from many great stories that have come before from the likes of Tolkien, Jordan, Hertbert, Goodkind, Pratchett, Martin, and several others.
My goal is not to create a masterpiece, but simply to create a story that someone can read and re-read with the same joy, same frustration, and same investment each time.
This story will contain violence, politics, Shakespearian drama, tongue-in-cheek references, adult content, and well-crafted relationships of both platonic and romantic natures.
I will not promise you will like every choice I make.
I can only guarantee that I will do my best to create a story I, and you, can be proud of.
As I progress, I will have room to incorporate fan-made characters for those interested in making their mark within the tapestry of this tale (with the customary disclaimer that they do so while waiving any rights to future profit, lol).
Thank you to Royal Road for giving me the platform to do that, and thank you dear readers past, present, and future for choosing to come on this journey with me.
Finally, just to cover myself: This work is Copyrighted to the Author herein known as 'Hannibal Forge', and recreation, distribution, or re-release of any material herein in a commercial or public capacity absent permission from the Author can and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the Law.
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The premise is solid but the execution is meh. I have no idea how this young man was in college period much less Yale. His decision making is suspect at best and his grasp of simple concept is fleeting. I hope it gets better as we go on but right now I think the MC is a dolt and I sure that's not what the author wanted.
Well written story with no noticeable typos or grammar errors. The characters, so far anyway, seem decent.
The use of status screens, especially considering they're HUGE, almost killed it for me. Especially considering a lot of times the screen can be entirely cut, or at least partially hidden but the author chose to copypaste the more or less exact blurb multiple times i a few chapters.
Now the previous mentioned things i can work with, but i never managed to get captured by the story in itself. I tried for 27chapters and i just couldn't engage with the story, sadly.
It got potential but it's not for me.
I was dissapointed. Not because of the novel, it's average and has potential, but with the reviews that tell you that it's great, hyping you too much. The style is good, story decent, the problem is the MC, he's bellow average in intelect and decision making, even if his score is above the norm. Also his decision making is often irrational, even the emotions can't explain some of them.
Please authur work on him and i'll gladly change the score.
Style - extremely descriptive, though overly verbose. Sometimes redundant. Often expressing details that I find uninteresting.
"When his HUD clock finally flashed at him to alert him of the designated time to prepare for their grand theft aero, his eyes opened to a room lit by the low glow of the singular aetherlight in the middle of the ceiling. His legs unfolded slowly, and he stood up with a stretch and crack of his back and neck. The [Party System] in his HUD marked his companions on his minimap, and Adam finished stretching his torso as he made his way towards the door; picking up his sheathed sword and attached sword-belt from the sole table as he walked."
... so he slowly got up, stretched, geared up, left the inn, and followed his HUD toward the others.
Personally, I'm not terribly interested in this, but there is a lot of this detailing. I am not patient enough for this kind of thing.
Because my frustration wasn't sated with copying only one paragraph, I began to gather additional frustration during my reading and selected the sentence that happened to be under my eye at the next time of exasperation, and copied it as well.
"The advice Lilith had given him about cultivating Vitae was clear, but the actual implementation of the relatively simple instructions she’d given him remained an exercise in futility."
This could be written as: Lilith's cultivation advice was clear, but his empassioned practice was fruitless.
We knew from the last chapters that the cultivation was for Vitae, so it was redundant. It was a major plot element, so we wouldn't have forgotten about its existence or nature.
and lastly, I do not like the extreme focus on fashion, tallness, and beauty. It seems shallow to me.
Story - Not my cup of tea. It's too much of a wish fulfillment fantasy for my taste. It no longer feels 'amazing' but instead feels 'pathetic'. My intuition tells me that this story is an spoiled only child's wet dream.
It is also quite dystopian in that
every mortal being other than the MC is a controlled and limited existence. Like a sex doll instead of a woman, these mannequins that are the people around the MC
don't inspire me in a positive manner. They feel like plot devices which conveniently spring into convenient-plot-progressing-action at the behest of the puppeteer and author - because that's actually what they are. I like most distopian novel scenarios, but this one frustrates me.
There's definitely plenty of discovery, adventure, and impressively detailed worldbuilding. There's a level system as well as ying yang cultivation stuff, the latter of which I am repulsed by, no matter which novel's plot line it exists within.
Grammar - Excellent. Impressive. A broad breadth of descriptive terms, proper spelling, and proper sentence structure. Far better writing than mine. It'd still be far better than mine if I were to actually edit my text-based brain farting. This author excels at communication.
Characters - If I could sum up my gripes with all of the characters in this book in a single sentence, it would be this:
The male MC had a panic attack while supposedly not being brain damaged.
A sober and non-retarded male doing such is inconceivable. I know not what it's like to be coddled, but such an ineffectual, scatterbrained and effeminate male as an MC, I believe, is the final nail in the coffin that I'll bury this story in. The effeminate nature of the MC only comes about in inconsistent and plot-convenient moments, however, so if you're considering reading the story, just know that he's usually quite solid.
The women feel somewhat shallow and forced.
granted, they ARE quite literally forced
but it's not enjoyable for me. I believe that we can infer about the quality of characters from the fact that
the MC had a sober panic attack.
I hope you keep writing, because this isn't a bad story. It just isn't interesting.
The people he met at the beginning know he is not from Terra and they keep treating him like a idiot because he don't know stuff. It's "normal" first, but very annoying later.
His anger/coy behavior is weird, but I don't read everything yet, maybe he will work this out.
Overall, Is not a bad story but it is a bad start.
Really enjoying this story. While I was a bit confused about how the prologue fit into it all, it gets sorted out pretty quickly (In a good way).
Something about Arcturus and his abilities pulls me in and I'm so psyched on how he develops! Looking forward to explore more of the world and see where the author takes the plot as well.
You should absolutely check this out! :))
I don't have much to say.
I probably read hundreds of stories on RR over the years, and well written and interesting stories like this aren't easy to find.
I find myself checking RR multiple times a day, just to see if there's a new chapter. I Can't wait for more chapters!
A lot of stuff I like with this story.
First, it's a LitRPG but the story is not overwhelmed by the quantitative aspects. There is more, beyond the numbers. And the story does a great job at conveying that, I feel.
Then, it's an isekai. But, it's not a narokei. Which means the main character, Arcturus, is in for a struggle. I like that. I like the fact that Arcturus doesn't acclimate himself to his new world straight away, that he feels lost, confused, at every turn. This is how it ought to be.
The other world has its own customs, culture. It is just as chaotic as the main character's mind. It is colorful, yet dangerous.
The characters are great. The main character, as I said, struggles to come to terms with his new life. The supporting cast is good too. Plenty of interesting interactions to have.
I'm eager to read what's next. There is a political dimension and intrigue that I really like as well.
All in all, a great discovery.
Ok, so previous was my short version of a review. This one is the longer version. I am no author, keep that in mind. Still, having read a lot of isekais, I do have standards, at least (even though standards themselves are subjective).
I am no native speaker, but with my experience of having read fan translations and other amateurs works, I feel like this story has a very good quality. The style is not overly complicated, but all in all, it is efficient, and I like that.
Very good too, from my own inadequate point of view, there are no obvious mistakes like I have encountered. Actually, mistakes are very rare, or so I have concluded. Another very good point. Coupled with the style, it feels very nice to read.
It is a LITRPG isekai. Not the most original one. But originality does not imply quality. And this one is qualitative among its genre I feel. The numbers do not have a world-bending role. They are just here as a representation of what the main character would do without them, in order to guide us. Certainly, certain processes are supported by the System, but they are not that important to the plot/would have been resolved in a way without System anyway.
The main character struggles. I feel like his rewards will be earned. I also like his self-deprecating voice a lot, makes for good jokes and good introspection.
The supporting cast is also good. We are slowly getting acquainted with them. They help this story a lot, I feel.
That is all I have to say at the time of writing this review.
Though the story isn't entirely my style, I'll give it what it deserves and say that so far, it is doing what it wants to do extremely well. The first chapter was a masterpiece, and despite not knowing any of the characters involved I was sad to see them go. The author has obviously put extreme amounts of thought and effort into producing a story that they can be proud of. The characters have chemistry, and I find them compelling. I hope the quality continues.
It started of nice and all, he kills a wolf gets sad all the generic morality shit but after that it becomes a random pile of dog shit, He kills a man wakes up in a bed takes a shower goes to the living room wearing a towel attacks others for no reason gets owned by said person like a bitch, reveals his identity to random strangers, bend over and shows his ass to anyone who shows him decent courtesy. I mean what is this guys thing his he mentally unstable, and don't get me started on the pc stuff it's like a board of twitter mods wrote this shit. Honestly I'm just disappointed, his powers are so interesting, i will still struggle through the novel and if it gets better and he stops being some random girls bitch i will give it a better rating. And for the love of god give appropriate tags i came into this thinking villian mc and what i get is a psychopathic pussy simp champion.