Evil Eye: Hexcaller

by LuckyFrey

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

In a broken world, once ruled by almighty Mage Kings, the chosen of the Gods are all that hold against total annihilation.

Harald Horste, a naïve young man, humiliated, broken, and penniless, inadvertently changes his fate with a single act of spite, finding himself drawn into a life of conflict. Demon cultists, savage monsters, entities of the abyss, and more threaten the lands of men from the remnants of a long dead empire. For Harald, beloved of the goddess of misfortune to survive them, he must attend the academy of Ashmere, while nursing the pain of a lifetime of mistreatment.

Join him in his struggle amongst scheming nobles, undead horrors, and the ever lurking threat of the Ruinlands.     

NOTE: This story is for the April national writing month contest and it is a Rough Draft! I appreciate all feedback, whether it be for typos, plot, pacing, and so forth. It has some light sexual content. It contains no Harem or Murder Hobo MC. 

 

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LuckyFrey

LuckyFrey

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Reviews
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Ziggy
Overall

Surprisingly good

Reviewed at: Chapter 22

From the description, it kinda comes off that the MC is the angry incel type. Which I'm not a fan of, but this hit trending so I thought I'd give it a go. And wow. First off, if you got the same vibe from the description as I did, the MC is not some troll that hates everyone. He comes off as a three dimensional character with understandable motivations, and he's even likable.

As for the quality of the story, it's pretty dang good. I have some nitpicks with the grammar but the author is writing this for the "write a bunch in one month" thing so it's pretty forgivable with how much content they're putting out so quickly.

Give it a few chapters and you probably won't regret it.

Rocco357
Overall

Don’t let the description fool you

Reviewed at: Chapter 25

 Very well written story, grammar could use some work and is awkward in some places. This is to be expected in a story that's being written so quickly. The connotation that the description portrays does not fit the story at all. Instead of a character who has been poorly treated that suddenly gets power and become a jerk he uses the fact that he knows what it's like to be on the outside to treat people well.

Pineapple N' Onions
Overall

Well Written and Very Entertaining

Reviewed at: Chapter 21

For some reason the synopsis made me mildly wary to read this story, but thankfully, I decided to give it a read anyways. Evil Eye really is an amazing read. The first couple of chapters could be improved slightly but don't detract from the overall story. The later chapters (after Harald punches the Godstone) have been a blast. I even shed a man-tear when he sets up a blind date for the butcher and tavern wench. The story contains a lot of original humor and unique story elements that left me impressed by the author's wit. I'm also impressed with Harald. He never loses his head over a pretty girl and always seems to have his wits about him. He is possibly the most logical main character I've seen in some time.

I want to thank the author for posting this story. Evil Eye has been a fun read and I'm really looking forward to seeing what crazy shenanigans comes Harald's way next.

GLM
Overall

Still early but seems good.

Reviewed at: Chapter 13

Haven't found anything glaringly unlikeable about the novel, MC seems okay, the "System" elements looks rather unique ( at least its not the typical one you'd expect) by the snippets we got from it. 

The overall theme had me a little worried, could've easily slipped into an edgy wish fufillment mess but it seems to be well handled (So far). The MC doesn't seem to be the type to make the boons he got go straight into the weird horny fetish fufillement zone.

MC is ugly and unwanted and gets chosen by the goddess of curses and the unwanted, thus getting a pantydropping Male MC transformation and edgy eye curse magiks. 

Overall he seems clearheaded and believable about it and isn't an infinite hornymachine like you'd expect in a storyline with these elements.

I will be keeping an eye on this one, its well written, grammar is good, pacing feels fine, the few characters that got screentime so far didn't raise any flags and dont seem to be 2D cardboard cuttouts and no instances of The Big Stupid. 

Give it a try, to the point I've made this review its surprisingly good, for a story that just screamed edgy wish fuffilment if you went by the common denominations of its elements.

OhNo
Overall

Honestly one of the best introductions. We catch the protagonist at the end of a perilous journey finding that it was meaningless. In his sorrow he almost commits suicide by godstone, yadayada. The issues begin with the academy arc. For one, he needlessly makes powerful enemies without taking any precautions. The timeskips where harald suddenly has a new friend are weird, makes the story feel rushed. Most importantly, it is assumed that it is a pre-industrial fantasy world, yet the protagonist has none of the ignorance we would expect. It's understandable he is a merchant's son and has some varied experience, but there has to be a limit somewhere. Like this isn't a self-insert dude with modern morals, this is some merchant's son from a backwater village. So far, it's kind of just a rush through the typical motions of training, face slapping, slice of life, etc. It would do a lot better if we could understand haralds deeper thoughts, take more time on smaller things, rather than rush through the litrpg academy 101. Exactly like how the author did in the intro.

KitchenWoman
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Just a gem to read

Reviewed at: Chapter 36

Don't let the cover and synopsis fool you. You can only get the true experience by reading it. Honestly, this novel is just a gem to read. Although not everyone will like it, if you enjoy magic schools and underdog main characters, you are already halfway there.

The first thing that sticks out to me in this novel is my suspension of disbelief. When I started, I was confused as well as rolling my eyes. I really didn't want to read this, only wanting to give it a cursory glance to see if it was good. But I stuck with it, and after a few paragraphs, I found myself grounded in the scene with things starting to make sense. Although I still wasn't enjoying myself, I wanted to reach a low point before dropping it, and all I can say is that I'm grateful I didn't. 

After that point, when everything becomes grounded in the scene and we can see things happening from start to finish, it just becomes a real treat to follow the mc. There's a lot of humour, emotions, and changes within the first few chapters, but I can only say that they were all such a treat that whenever I read this novel now that I'm fully immersed. 

A lot of novels I will read and just zone in and out when a really long part just drones on and on and on and on and on, or question the things I'm reading and even compare them to my own ideas. With this novel? I just sit back and enjoy everything on the page. 

Past that, everything else is just dandy. Good enemies, good friends, and complicated romance that tests the mc's morals, convictions, and understanding of himself and the world. It's all just a joy to go through one step at a time.

And this is just the nitty-gritty of the storytelling and characters. Now let me tell you about the magic system and the System itself. I never really entertained the idea of curses, hexes, and charms, but this novel just does them so flawlessly so far. Every ability is so cool and interesting so far, and even the reason why they are so cool is obvious.

As Brandon Sanderson said in his writing lectures, there are two key details for making a cool superpower. The first is that the power has to be used to solve problems in an interesting way that is satisfying to the reader, and the second is that the flaws of the power are more interesting than the power itself. 

For both of these instances, all of the Mc's hexes and curses have stringent requirements, costs, and conditions to use, but the pay off if successful can be immensely high in the right situations. These abilities not only have flaws, but the author is basically forcing themselves to make the mc solve things in interesting ways. 

Compared to most novels that are just amateurish garbage, this bad boy is an absolute gem. 

jxlegend
Overall

wish fulfillment

Reviewed at: Chapter 5

There was a real character there... but yeah other reviewers have frankly touched on why this is ridiculous. Character deeply affected by lack of good looks for 2 chapters. Guess that was all the time this character needed to be down, because he then immediately gets "ascendent" class, legendary class, and tall, handsome, buff, etc.

themell
Overall

story changes in a snap of a finger

Reviewed at: Chapter 4

Spoilers:

The story spends several chapters describing how ugly he is. This was something that affected him greatly throughout his life. Then, in one magical poof, he is now extremely handsome. Why? Instead of overcoming adversity or learning how to deal with it, his problems were waived away like magic. The entire plot changed at that moment.

Raph772
Overall

A story that includes something that i love seeing in stories (Vascora) won't say who or what that is to avoid spoilers but i love things like Vascora (thing from the story) and yet authors on RRL seem to avoid it generally, this story seems to be having a good release rate despite chapters that are a little shorter i can just hope that the author doesn't drop this story because i'm seriously hooked and will give him the evil eye if he does.

lenkite
Overall

Not Progression But Immediate Wish Fulfilment

Reviewed at: Chapter 4

It's a pity that the Author has chosen to add a [Progression] tag to what is clearly an [Immediate Wish Fulfilment] story.

The progatonist overnight transforms from a scrawny deeply-ugly, weak teengager to a tall, buff, super-handsome [Ascendent] in Chapter 3 whom all women are deeply attracted to. He gets this [Magical Transformation] after screaming at a girl who gave him money in pity and calling her a heartless bitch and then punching a [Godstone]. Voila - super powers and [Epic Perfect Handsomeness] achieved. Note that he doesn't return back the gold coin after insulting her.

Immediate magical transformation into a [Super Handsome Badass] is NOT [Progression] by any means. That's [Wish Fulfilment].

Kindly remove the [Progression] tag. It is deeply misleading and utterly insulting to the real progression stories.