Asleep - A LITRPG story

This story is not 4 stars. The RPG elements are so barebones and  unfinished that they should just be removed. The author acknowledges the lack of system elements are a problem and is going to go back and add them in, but hasn't yet and the longer the author puts it off the worse the problem is going to get when they finally do.

My biggest problem with the story though is that this wouldn't be a fun RPG game to play which is the whole foundation of a LitRPG. The MC spends a whole day grinding xp and completes a dungeon but doesn't even get to level 2. That is punishing. The side quest are review bombed because of how bad they are. It also is filled with advertising. This game has full McDonalds resturaunts in it so people can buy a shake before taking the ring up Mount Doom. WTF. This game is garbage and would be boycotted and die quickly.

Also if your going to have genderbending as an element in your story make it actually matter. The logic for having it is as a disguise but if the AI can change his gender it can give him a different body of the same gender. The MC barely reacts to being in a body of a different species and gender so what is the point. I do not get why authors have been adding genderbending to their stories if they are not going to use it for anything interesting. What's the point.

From practically the first chapter (second, to be completely honest) it's been grating on my nerves how bad the game design for this game is, I mean this is a common thing to happen in gamelit and litrpg, we've seen it with sword art online, we've seen it with ready player one, we've seen it  with log horizon, we've seen it everywhere...

But in those stories it wasn't that hard to look past that, you just had to not really think about it, you know, when you notice something that seems a bit iffy, you'd just have to try ont to think about it for more than 2 seconds, just move along, pretend you didn't notice...

But in this one, it's not that easy, it's like everytime I hear about or notice a design decision for this game it just jumps out at me, I don't even get 2 seconds to refocus my thoughts on something else, no, it just takes 2 seconds to see what a terrible design decision 'that' is ('that' being almost every design decision made for this 'game' in this story) I begin to question how such a horribly poorly designed game could have so many players too...

Also that's not all, the techl evel of this world (earth that is) is all over the damn place, I mean on the one hand they're still using modern style VR, but on the other hand they already have working full dive technology; they still have AI at roughly the same development level as modern day AI, except the one that's running the game which is a complete general purpose AI, the likes of which most governments of the world are having wet dreams about right about now (we're already in an actual (albeit silent) arms race towards this)

And not just that they're also working on tech that would go way beyond full dive and have it mostly working (I mean I don't wanna spoil anything but if you really want to know...)

And that tech is where the wasted potential begins and my interest died, because despite the potential for greater things such sci-fi innovation provides, the author seems insistent to stick to his weak, half assed vrmmo plot...

And it's boring, it was always boring, the vrmmo bits were kinda lame a couple chapters in (horrible design didn't help either, but the biggest problem is that there are absolutely no stakes in the vrmmo, it's just a fucking game and nobody cares, except for some investors, and some players)

And that's why I dropped the story, because I didn't really care to keep reading about that poorly planned vrmmo crap.

I finished vol 1 so far. I thought it was lighthearted and easy to read and doesn't take itself too seriously, exactly the kind of fun read I was in the mood for, ty :)

I really like Anna, and her dragon powers, and when the card game is introduced. And the rain of pets! I'm just adding words now because all I wanted to say was I liked it, thanks, but Royal Road is making me write more :)

An enjoyable well writen story.  While I would like to see more adventuring, the mix of adventure, crafting, and world building is done very well.   I do have one complaint, not a negative one just a confusion, the is mixed in one of my favorite parts of this story.  For the most part the characters are very well done and feel real, my complaint is the, to me, confusing paradox that the MC talks about family and how important his is to them yet never seems to truely think of or care about them.  The biggest example is his human daughter but even his cast family seems to be mostly ignored except to advance a plot point.  Thanks for writing this and I hope you continue to do so.  

Player In a virtual world with an A.I. I little bit of dungeon core action, a little bit of world building. I little bit of romance.  I little bit of everything.  It is a great read and you should give it a read or binge read as I did. 

At times it's hard to believe that this is this guy's first book. The first few chapters were really nice. It was later on when the first combat chapter was released that I was forced to accept that it was actually his first book. But he was very open to my suggestions and by the end he had improved by leaps and bounds. There are chapters that I deem was unnecessary, like the catapocalypse one, but that's just my personal opinion I guess.

The story was like a rollercoaster ride. It had its ups and downs but it was very enjoyable. Some of the characters lacked the depth that I was expecting in them, like Tim and the other Heroes. While some other characters that I wished to see where never seen again. But apart from that the central characters were well built and the relationship between them well written. What I loved the most was how the author explained the different types of food within the game world, it was very tantalising. 

The author also had written some scenes that were beyond my wildest imaginations. Like the final boss fight at Jupiter's dungeon. It was not how I expected it to go. The author also tied up all loose ends at the end by explaining why certain characters acted like they did or said what they said. All in all it was a nice book to read.

This is a 'fun' fic. The stakes are set suitably high in-universe, but as a reader I don't feel it I just accept it. The stage is suitably broad for enjoyable things to happen in, and happen they do. There's fun characters and fun setup and dastardly plots and everything is just fun to experience. Just don't expect something that will tear at your heart strings or get said heart racing.

I don't want that to sound insulting, because it's not supposed to be - is this worth a read? Yeah, if you just want something light-hearted whilst you've got five minutes for a chapter here and there.

It's a competently written story with believable (if simplistic) goings-on that I enjoyed reading. If you're used to 5-star reviews for garbage, then trust that 4 for this is more accurate and should mean far more.

brilliant work. honestly, several times I skipped this story due to the genderbender tag. (It just isn't my personal taste and with the sudden explosion of genderbender content, BL, GL, in manga, novels, etc. I always ended up ignoring it.)
I'm glad I gave it a try. It's really fun to see the game's development in real time. the dioalogues are good, characters have their own charisma, the rhythm of the plot is fast but not overly.
a negative point, however, would be craft and magic, but I believe it would be better and discussed in more detail ahead.
grammar and writing on the side (my English is scarce) I will give maximum note for how captivating the work has been for me so far.

A charming read by first-time author, Kos.  No harems, but plenty of adventure, friendship, and love.  A heartwarming story that was very funny!

Humor was mostly of the slap-stick or pun variety, enough to make me groan at times.

Highly recommended for anyone who wants to read something uplifting. AAA+++

First all I must say the actual quality of the writing itself is quite good, at least 4 if not 5 stars. However, I'm not actually sure how I feel about the story itself. It's definitely not bad, but I feel like it's lacking something, though I'm not really sure what. So, I decided to give it 3 stars, what I consider a kind of average, but fun story. All that being said the author has great potential, and I really look forward to seeing what stories they will tell in the future!