- Traumatising content
What was supposed to be a simple delivery ended up taking Jennifer through the depths of the dungeon. A trial of life and death left her with a mark seared on not just her body, but her very soul. If that wasn’t enough, when she escaped the dungeon, she found her city in flames, burning as monstrous invaders slaughtered everyone they came across. Including her.
When Jennifer closed her eyes, she was certain her life had taken an unfair and tragic turn. But then she opened them only to find none of it had ever happened.
The only proof she hadn’t gone mad, the mark on her hand, burning with an inner fire.
Note: This story is a first draft and a work in progress.
A random short prompt I wrote on the topic of time abilities which, now I'm writing more of. The story will be updated once every week.
A big thank you to Asviloka for making the cover.
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This is a difficult story to write a review for. Usually, I'll read 10 chapters, then I have a good sense of the story and what works/doesn't, and what other readers ought to know that isn't disclosed in the synopsis.
Even after 16 chapters, I have a hard time putting together my thoughts here. But, after skimming through the other reviews, and seeing no one pick up on my concerns, I will (with some regretful crudeness) put some words to paper finally (PM me if I overstep here).
Overall, it's... okay, I guess. Things feel a bit disjointed and it feels like we're flying by the seat of our pants.
The first several chapters in particular are a rush. Bumbling headlong forward until the first time-loopback. In media res, I suppose, but it makes for a rough start, like walking on sharp rocks. The hectic pace though turns into a crawl after she
runs into another mark, and now we're like a half-dozen chapters taking place within the adventurer's guild. Yay group meetings. The plot's gone on vacation while we address both exposition and training montage.
On a related note, the protagonist seems to lack agency and self-determination. Things are happening to her and 16 chapters, she's still largely just going with the flow. It oddly means that I think the protagonist may be one of the least-defined characters and I have a hard time stepping into her shoes.
All in all, I'll continue to read it for a while yet, though I have lingering concerns about how this is all supposed to pull together into a cohesive narrative.
A good story, with a lot of potential. That said, also a lot of room for improvement.
The story follows the premise of similar time loop stories such as MoL and Re:Monarch, and it does kind of presume familiarity with the genre and tropes, the same way the litrpg elements assume you know what a blue box means, and the broader assumptions that go with it. The world building goes to other elements instead though, so it's all good. Still a bit early to judge, but overall the story seems solid.
The style is my main gripe with the story. It's not bad, but it lacks the punch and intensity to keep me reading, at least in the first few chapters, and I found myself skimming a lot to get through it. It's definitely not bad for a new author though, and KrazeKode's writing improves pretty quickly after the time loop. I expect with a bit more practice and a rewrite of the first few chapters this would jump up to 5* easily enough.
Grammar is good. Maybe some runon sentences, but overall nothing to complain about, very well proofread.
The characters are good, there's a fun variety that fill different roles, and they service the story quite well. That said, they do play very hard into their archetypes. Dwarf Smith, honorable knight, young noble prodigy, etc. That's not necessarily a bad thing, as said, they work fine for moving the plot and are entertaining, but hopefully they do get a little more nuanced development down the line.
Overall, a solid start, can't wait to see how it improves. (Feel free to remind me to update this once it's further along.)
This is a wonderful start to a time loop story. Gives a good foundation for the character's ways of thinking, and has been building some small tidbits of the world with every chapter. Further, it flows very smoothly and makes me want to keep reading it.
while there is a bunch of unknown information on the plot so far, it doesn't feel so trite and seems to have set up some higher-order magic systems, enemies, and a lot more to come.
Further, this does seem to be a very well merged Lit-RPG and Fantasy setting. While there is incorporation of game like elements, it has not become all encompassing, and merely seems to add flavor to the genre while helping to run with expectations. This, in conjunction with the smooth writing does bode well!
As of this review, 3 MAY 2021, we have the foundation of the main character, along with two other seemingly main characters, a family, and a possible antagonist. No overused tropes, and it feels like a really genuine insight into characters that will have a significant source of depth as the story goes along. Further, the main character is not a blank slate, which is always nice!
I am excited to see how this progresses!
I love time-loop stories and this one is off to a great start. 2 loops in at chapter 27 and you can see how the MCs strength and decision making is changing based on her experiences. The start is a tad slow but it picks up after the first loop. I plan to stay with this story for the long haul
From the start, I was intrigued by the minimalist take on a LitRPG in a fantasy world that intrigued me with its hints of mystery. The style isn't groundbreaking, but I love the snappiness of the fights and the use of the different senses. There are lots of small details added to the story that greatly increase my enjoyment and immersion. The story itself does impose quite a few questions and keeps me wanting more. And I love having a female POV for the lead character that isn't forced into any stereotypes. She's her own person and her emotional complexity easily trumps the majority of sociopathic mcs from the power fantasy stories I've seen of late.
This story could easily be translated into a comic or graphic story. The use of the senses is incredibly appreciated and the snappy use of sound in combat adds to the image of a hectic or scary fight. I am loving the fight scenes in this; they aren't a master craft but they are just plain fun to read. The stakes are there, the pace is quick, and the blows land in a satisfying way. Hopefully, this continues through the story.
I have nothing terrible to say about the grammar at all. Their use of different descriptive words was top tier. There writing flowed nicely. A few things could have been expanded upon but nothing about their writing drew me away from the story.
With a quick delve into a dungeon, I knew I was going to like the story. The fights are nice, the puzzles are enjoyable, and the mystery is palpable. I am left wondering about the litRPG system, the politics of the world, and the new ability the mc gains. Personally, with the time loops, I'll be watching for a butterfly effect. Currently, the MC has found themself in some sort of struggle, a trial they must complete, that pits them against other powerful characters. Excited to see what comes of this trial.
I am enjoying the MC, Jennifer. She is intelligent without the story ever having to tell us that. It's shown in her actions that she makes wise choices even when struggling against normal instinctual reactions to danger. Her motivations are humorous and understandable. And her reaction to the events she survives is very relatable. Her only partner in these first few chapters is a man named Irwys who is a bit of an engima and a little more than intriguing. I will be reading more to see where he comes up in the Trial of the Seeker.
In short. I like this story. Will continue to read.
Edit: Eyyy its getting better.
The title says it all its a intersting read. Its one of my top 5 stories to read.
Style- It flows together really well. The pacing isnt too slow or too fast its just right.
Story- Its really well written. The fight scenes in particular are really well written.
Grammar- The mistakes are very few and they are quickly fixed once pointed out.
Character- The characters are well written and thought out. They feel like real people, not flat cut outs of people.
Just eleven chapters in and already feels like it's going places. It vaguely reminds me of Mother of Learning with how it's begun with a time loop ending in multiple disasters after exactly a month. The strength of these time loop stories is they can simultaneously have absurd levels of dangers without placing the protagonist in immediate consequential harm, which works absolutely amazingly with an inexperienced peotagonist thrown into the chaos of violence and uncertainty.
The buggest strength of the story thus far is definitely how far out of her depth the MC is with mysterious magical forces and mysteries and maybe even something resembling destiny flying around and dictating her choices for her. This is definitely one of those unasked for adventures with the protagonist dragged kikking and screaming into the main plot.
The story so far has been a slow set up for whatever exciting things are het to come with very little true exposition other than setting uo questions and mysteries that take their sweet time to be answered and virtually no litRPG style power progression as of het despite that likely being a major consideration further into the story.
The writing is pretty well done with various diverse characters and scene of differing emotional qualities thrown at us at a pace that makes you want to keep turning pages. This is not one of the regukar webserials were answers come quickly and plot develops slowly and it's totally worth it.
So far I've read up to Chapter 16 and I love it! The characters have a good foundation. The main character is very weak at the moment but I'm looking forward to seeing her get stronger. While the story has a fantasy setting, the plot is believable- there are no forced parts or stupid cannon fodder that only exist to make the main character look better in comparison.
I would recommend this novel to anyone who is looking for an enjoyable book to read. It will definitely keep your interest! Many thanks to the author for all your hard work!
So far this story has started off strong. It has an interesting premise and has hinted at a much wider world than what has so far been shown. I hope that this story maintains its initial strength to create a truly awesome story. I am excited to follow along with this story.
Great start to the story!!!
I've not read many loop stories. However, Kratze was driving me crazy on discord, so I decided to give this one a go anyway and got sucked in.
I would definitely recommend giving this book a read! It's fun, quick paced and interesting! I like the magic system and the blue boxes.
Interesting premise. Got enough of a hook to keep me coming back, despite my reluctance to follow more stories. The storyline flows nicely from chapter to chapter :)
The writing style is smooth and easy to read. Overall the pace is quite quick, with a ton of action. Definitely errs on the side of too fast than too slow a pace in my opinion, which will be well received by most RR readers.
The characters are nicely fleshed out and interesting. This is generally what I am the most interested in when reading and the reason I'm enjoying the book. Very occasionally action takes precedence over character development and I'm left wondering what is going on in the mc's head.
Grammar is consistently decent throughout the book, as far as I can tell. There is nothing that would spoil the reading experience and the author will correct any mistakes pointed out.