Lily Ex Machina [COMPLETED]

by AcquiHime

Original COMPLETED Adventure Fantasy Romance Female Lead LitRPG Magic Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Lily Voirgaire is a girl born with extraordinary talent in a field of magic largely considered useless. She was content with that, happy simply to work diligently towards her goal, her dream of becoming a machinist, a creator of non-magical constructs. She loved her work, and she was good at it. She would spend every day working to get better at her craft, and would eventually become the best machinist in the land!

That was what she thought. That was what was supposed to happen.

But then an accident leaves her with a grave injury and tosses her leagues from her home city. This is the story of her journey.

 

THIS STORY IS ALSO AVAILABLE ON MY PERSONAL WEBSITE, EXTANTVISIONS (http://extantvisions.com)

 

Lily Ex Machina was completed in April 2017. To read the currently in-progress sequel(Seeking Elysium), please click >> HERE <<

 

[Rated 17+ for slight gore, cursing, and slight sexual content. THIS WORK CONTAINS STRONG HOMOSEXUAL UNDERTONES.]

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AcquiHime

AcquiHime

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue - A Useless Talent ago
Chapter One: An Escort Request ago
Chapter Two: Introductions ago
Chapter Three: Navigation ago
Chapter Four: Dayfall ago
Chapter Five: A Daytime Chat ago
Chapter Six: Probing ago
Chapter Seven: Separation ago
Chapter Eight: Tenacity ago
Chapter Nine: Replacement ago
Chapter Ten: Supplies ago
Chapter Eleven: Change ago
Chapter Twelve: Message ago
Chapter Thirteen: Trial and Error ago
Chapter Fourteen: Challenge ago
Chapter Fifteen: Surprises ago
Chapter Sixteen: Iris ago
Chapter Seventeen: Again. ago
Chapter Eighteen: Symmetry ago
Chapter Nineteen: Bout ago
Chapter Twenty: Departure ago
Chapter Twenty One: Return ago
Chapter Twenty Two: Captives ago
Chapter Twenty Three: Merely Pain ago
Chapter Twenty Four: Application ago
Chapter Twenty Five: A Personal Favor ago
Chapter Twenty Six: Raid ago
Chapter Twenty Seven: Calm ago
Chapter Twenty Eight: Vengeance ago
Chapter Twenty Nine: Disposal ago
Chapter Thirty: Holding Hands ago
Chapter Thirty One: The Valentin Festival ago
Chapter Thirty Two: Religion ago
Chapter Thirty Three: Obstacle ago
Chapter Thirty Four: Collision ago
Chapter Thirty Five: Wound ago
Chapter Thirty Six: Nurse Iris ago
Chapter Thirty Seven: Protection ago
Chapter Thirty Eight: Buckler ago
Chapter Thirty Nine: Theorycraft ago
Chapter Forty: Dragon ago
Chapter Forty One: Promote ago
Chapter Forty Two: Answers ago
Chapter Forty Three: Elaboration ago
Chapter Forty Four: Procession ago
Chapter Forty Five: Visions ago
Chapter Forty Six: Fear ago
Chapter Forty Seven: Memento ago
Chapter Forty Eight: Whisper ago
Chapter Forty Nine: Leisure ago
Chapter Fifty: Tate System ago
Chapter Fifty One: Setting Sail ago
Chapter Fifty Two: An Android and A Shield ago
Chapter Fifty Three: Spellsword ago
Chapter Fifty Four: Hero ago
Chapter Fifty Five: Humanity ago
Chapter Fifty Six: Serpent ago
Chapter Fifty Seven: Vigil ago
Chapter Fifty Eight: Diagnosis ago
Chapter Fifty Nine: Training ago
Chapter Sixty: Stars ago
Chapter Sixty One: Village ago
Chapter Sixty Two: Dialogue ago
Chapter Sixty Three: Run ago
Chapter Sixty Four: Next ago
Chapter Sixty Five: Decision ago
Chapter Sixty Six: Architecture ago
Chapter Sixty Seven: Foundation ago
Chapter Sixty Eight: Salvage ago
Chapter Sixty Nine: ManaScript ago
Chapter Seventy - Metallurgy ago
Chapter Seventy One: Treason ago
Chapter Seventy Two: Seeking Capital ago
Chapter Seventy Three: Preparations ago
Chapter Seventy Four: En Route ago
Chapter Seventy Five: Checkpoint ago
Chapter Seventy Six: Serendipity ago
Chapter Seventy Seven: Retrospective Regrets ago
Chapter Seventy Eight: Legacy ago
Chapter Seventy Nine: New Friendships ago
Chapter Eighty: Heart ago
Chapter Eighty One: Luxury Goods ago
Chapter Eighty Two: Noblesse Oblige ago
Chapter Eighty Three: Completion ago
Chapter Eighty Four: A Slice of Life ago
Chapter Eighty Five: Interruption ago
Chapter Eighty Six: Tough Love ago
Chapter Eighty Seven: Draconian Parenting ago
Chapter Eighty Eight: Background ago
Chapter Eighty Nine: Gift ago
Chapter Ninety: Leaving the Nest ago
Chapter Ninety One: The March Of Time ago
Chapter Ninety Two: Another Disturbance ago
Chapter Ninety Three: Fear ago
Chapter Ninety Four: Hesitation ago
Chapter Ninety Five: Mirror ago
Chapter Ninety Six: Genesis ago
Chapter Ninety Seven: Liliana ago
Chapter Ninety Eight: Fallen ago
Chapter Ninety-Nine: Shatter ago
Chapter One Hundred: Grief ago
Chapter One Hundred and One: Weapon ago
Chapter One Hundred and Two: Directive ago
Chapter One Hundred and Three: Inheritance ago
Chapter One Hundred and Four: Hand in Hand ago
Chapter One Hundred and Five: Rejection ago
Chapter One Hundred and Six: Ceremony ago
Chapter One Hundred and Seven: Banter ago
Chapter One Hundred and Eight: A Shield's Resolve ago
Chapter One Hundred and Nine: Fleeting Happiness ago
Chapter One Hundred and Ten: Morning ago
Chapter One Hundred and Eleven: Cooking ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twelve: Perspective ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen: Twenty-One ago
Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen: Birthday Gifts ago
Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen: Layover ago
Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen: Stirrings ago
Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen: Fight or Flight ago
Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen: Rally ago
Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen: Strategy Meeting ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty: Prep Work ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty One: Upgrades ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Two: Fight ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Three: Upgrades (Part 2) ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Four: Promises ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Five: Situation Report ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Six: Christening ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Seven: Waiting ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Eight: The Dawn Before Battle ago
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Nine: Parley ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty: Birth of a Legend ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty One: Bout ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Two: Intermission ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Three: Agreement ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Four: Game ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Five: Turning Point ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Six: Miracle ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Seven: Amber ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Eight: Metamorphosis ago
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Nine: Forward ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty: Switch ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty One: Morbid Thoughts ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Two: Contemplations ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Three: Clash ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Four: Approach ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Five: The Righteous and the Unnatural ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Six: The Final Battle, Pt I ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Seven: The Final Battle, Pt II ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Eight: Ascendance ago
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Nine: Responsibilities ago
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty: Coronation [END] ago
Epilogue ago
Afterword ago

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jacobpaige
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Arifureta fans might like it

If you liked Arifureta, then this one's worth considering. I have trouble recommending it otherwise.

 

Style: Perfectly fine, nothing really stands out one way or the other.

 

Story: Lots of minor problems that snowball into an experience that's hard to maintain an interest in.

 

1) The MC goes from being a normal person to being a sociopathic, mass-murderer in less than one second (literally) with the only explanations being either magic or a psychotic break (author hasn't said as of chapter 44). 

 

2) She taught herself to fight the most dangerous creatures in existence based on half-remembered beginner martial arts training manuals that she read several years ago, something that any competent fighter would tell you is total bs. It might be enough to win amateur fights but she'd get her ass handed to her by anyone capable who was at or near her power level.

 

3) She's somehow able to react to things that are happening far to fast for her to be able to process them, with no explanation as to why. This is a pretty common one since most authors just assume that the only thing preventing people from being unstoppable killing machines is a lack of OP equipment.

 

4) The power creep is extreme. A monster mentioned in the first arc as being one of the toughest to handle, a legendary existence that requires large groups of humanity's finest to even have a hope of defeating, is toyed around with and then killed by a new party member on her first day on the job with the very clear message that anyone else in the party could have done the same if they hadn't been holding back to see what the new girl could do.

 

5) Others that escape me at the moment.

 

Grammar: Quite good. Mistakes are rare.

 

Character: Its hard to say. The mild Mary Sue aspects make it difficult to like the MC and the flaws in the personalities of the others might well be intentional given their inherent nature. The biggest problem here is probably the sociopathy thing again, but that too might be intentional as its been brought up a few times by the characters themselves.

Apatheticplotbunneh
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Excellent grammar, spelling and a solid enough plot. Points off for deliberately leaving out the tragedy tag though.

Tason
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Great grammar, solid story, and an enjoyable read.

The grammar is great, smooth writing and excellent grammar work make this a great read.

 

Of course the story itself is great which only further improves the grammar. The characters are solid and fun to read along with. The world and what we've learned of it so far, though small in ways, is enjoyable and leaves me wondering what else they may have made.

 

The steady change of the main character through her experiences only strengthens the story in a firm way without pushing things to fast or slow.

 

Read through many chapters in one go and now I'm looking foreword to the next one to come out.

Pyottl
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Good idea that suffers from various tropes

Style

Solid writing, no complaints about this. Emotional scenes were a bit of a problem, I thought, but they are very difficult to do, so it's really not something I'm willing to blame the author much for.

Grammar

Nothing to complain about here. I'm sure there's the occassional mistake but I rarely found some. Compared to some other novels here, great job.

Story

Great idea: have a young girl with unique magic set out on an adventure, where then everything goes wrong. Desperate, she has to sacrifice part of her humanity to survive, and go from there ...

But instead of slowly coming to terms with her actions, maybe going further down that path, grapling perhaps with the implications of being able to manipulate her own mind, it's basically "I'm OP now and kill things" after that.

It's not all bad. There's some fairly daring plot decisions for this genre. But much of what happens happens far too easily and conviniently. "Somehow", events progress just so that they fit the heroine's development ...

Characters

The heroine and her party are likeable enough, but there's a telling lack of antagonists with personality and basically no character development after the initial switch from "innocent inventor" to "terminator". 

Overall

I should have liked this much more than I actually did. Even if I was disappointed that the initial idea got (kind of) discarded along the way, and everyone turned way too OP, it's still "cute girls doing cute ... err, murderous things". That usually is good enough for me.

But the discrepancy between trying to create something fairly serious, with dark tones, while at the same time being caught up in light-hearted litRPGs tropes was a mix that just didn't work. 

 

Cookie_Swirlingcupcakee
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a must read for niche audience

It was a great read! I loved it. There were some oddities here and there but as an overall experience 5 stars!

A sunkenShip
  • Overall Score

While I won't say that LeM is not without flaws, it is a great fiction! Major pet peeves in the first 20 chapters of the book; however, as the story moves along it becomes less jarring.

I do not quite understand the notion behind having a shield though... it just feels like it happened for the sake of having more "Drama" in the future chapters when the war between vessell and LeM breaks out.

Iris is awesome as a character, and her death felt BEYOND CHEAP. She suddenly became so underpowered that the idiot vessell could fight and win vs her, when she needs humans to fight vs any demons. WTF? And Lily, you also royally fucked up. You should have known better!

The entire merging thing... was strange and cheap! Seriously, the reason I am not giving this a 3-star or even a 2-star which it really deserves for failure of using proper human anatomy, is that the story as a whole package works. It is all-right. Fight scenes are done well. Grammar is not jarring. Characters are lovable even if forced. So yes, I will give it a 3.5 But, seriously... it could have been much better.

 

 

Algoz
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Great story, this deserves more attention (spoilers on review)

I'm impressed... this Is really a great story for this site. It isn't perfect, but my god, It's a lot better than a lot of stories on this site that have more readers

The MC power is really interesting, my only problem (and that Is just personal preference, nothing else) Is that I would like her power to be only inorganic/non sentient beings. I didn't really liked the whole "change how I can be aware while sleeping" and the "erasing my hate of moths" thing. I don't know if you will use this more later on, but I personally hope you don't.

the rest of the MC power Is really cool, doesn't sound incredible powerful, and I really like how she made her arms and legs.

I can't comment a lot on grammar since I'm not a pure english speaker (my second language, self taught) but for me, It's really good, with no problems with commas, paragraphs and other stuff.

characters, they are really interesting, I just wished that the MC backstory would be more explained (like what she encontered In her studies and what other people thought of her because of her power.

 

my only true negative about this story, Is that chapters feel too short. I understand that writing can  be hard (hell, I have some good ideas, but can't even put them on paper, that's why I only read), but try to write longer chapters.

 

I hope you can give more and more chapters for us to read.

RandomEnchanter
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Very good introduction to an interesting story topic. Looking forward to more chapters. 

 

The only improvement point that i would mention would be to have a bit more in depth detail about various topics. IE in the prologue, explain the gauntlet, Lily’s looks, her room/apartment etc. Give the reader a picture with words (or put in a picture) the author does a good job of this with the key points in the story but extra doesn’t hurt. 

modelSWIPE
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Very Niche and Interesting - Highly Recommended

Started reading this out of interest for the mecha genre......while this isnt quite that, its amazing nonetheless. 

Very few grammatical errors that I've picked up on, and those I have are excusable. 

Characters are reasonably fleshed out, with enough detail for me to feel attached to them, although the rapid change and recovery of Lily's mindset was perhaps a little jarring.

Overall a highly enjoyable story, that I was hoping I'd be able to binge for longer......alas I shall have to wait like everyone else for the next chapter.

Growl
  • Overall Score

Decent story, loli fighting dragons

 First and foremost, read the review by jacobpaige. Seems more than accurate and I agree with all of it.

 

Other than that, I want to add some things to it. There will be spoilers!

The author, unfortunately doesn't know human anatomy, at all. The evidence of that is visible here and there. Predominately when modifications happen. One such example is apparently, in that universe, you don't feel the weight of your own limbs, enabling the mc to heave far heavier things with the correct belief. Or even better, walking and running apparently doesn't use any muscles except those in the legs and considering she loses those pretty early on in the story, enables her to not feel fatigued after running for long periods of time. I would honestly suggest the author looks up the movement of the human body, asap. 

 

But like jacobpaige said, good grammar, insane power creep and some typical mistakes you find often in amateur stories.

 

If you want another idea of what this story entails. It features a katana wielding teenager in the first real chapter of the story. Sooo, yeah. That should give you enough of an idea what to expect. And the author seems adamant to at least use a decent amount of japanese tropes.