The Veiled Worlds
The various races of the land of Onterrath have always struggled for supremacy. These wars caused the annihilation and extinction of many races. The battles for hegemony lasted until the day when greed and desire led to the creation of a portal to the Rift.
The Rift sent forth hordes of creatures to destroy Onterrath. No one was prepared for the invasion, and this brought about the demise of nearly every living being on the continent. The survivors picked themselves up and fought back. They rebuilt the world while strengthening themselves for the eventual Rift wars.
Follow Liam's journey after he returns from the Rift and becomes the savior of Onterrath.
The release schedule will be a five chapters per week. Apart from Thursday and Friday, there'll be a chapter on the other days.
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I applaud you author! This is one of those books where you can actually feel the tension, action, and the different situations the characters went into. It's like I have been transported and feel myself in your world, feeling what they feel, seeing what they see with mouth hang wide open.
The very first chapter grabbed my attention, putting me at the edge of my seat. The actions and surreal descriptions have me completely hooked. I could feel the protagonist's fear and his desperation as if I was in his place.
Th descriptions flow in an unimaginably smooth manner, It is easy to imagine the scenes, while they are gripping at the same time. The dialogues are perfectly blended into the scenes, giving a lifelike feeling. With the amount of descriptions and rules you set in the world, I am sure the worldbuilding is going to be something spectacular. The characters are well thought and sketched out, tuning the situation to their actions rather than the other way around. I can't wait to see more of the other races and the progression of the story.
Great job with this author! Keep up the good work! Hope you keep updating for more.
Style: The text is very well written. The fight scenes are detailed, painting a clear picture of the combat, which makes reading them enjoyable. There is a lot of dialogue in this story, so if that interests you, you will probably enjoy reading this.
Grammar: I have not seen any particular issues with grammar. The text is well composed.
Story: The story is very slow, the author even admits to himself that chapters 2 to 7 are the "confusing ones." We get an action scene in the first chapter with Liam (MC) but only meet him again in chapter 7. Then the magic system in only introduced in chapter 15. The world-building is interesting, I am interested in learning more about the remaining nations and what actually goes on in the rift. I would recommend the author to trim down the unnecessary stuff, get the explanations in quicker, (but not over-explain things) so that the story can kick itself into high gear quicker.
Character: The MC's character is interesting, he is a handsome man who spent his whole life living in a deadly monster-ridden realm and is a man who can hide his intentions well. However, as I said we only get to meet him in chapter 7. There are a lot of side characters, Alisha, Cabel, Jade, Dunn and more. This a lot of people to keep track of in the beginning. I would recommend the author to keep the character count small in the beginning and gradually add more.
Overall, the writing itself is well done and the world-building is interesting but can be hard to keep track of things later on. I would recommend the author to boil things down to their essentials, at least in the beginning, to allow for an easier introduction to the reader into the world.
Overall this is a good story. I enjoyed reading it, and it succeeded in keeping me engaged. It stands out from the majority of stories that are here on royal road and can. The author is capable of executing his ideas and plot well. It does have some confusing chapters, but those tend to be explained later on. Where I am currently, there are still several things that don't make total sense, but I assume that's on purpose.
Stylistically the story works. The character's conversations feel natural, the environment and setting are represented well, and there's not too much filler. However, some sentences feel disjointed. Almost as if there was a sentence between two others that got removed somewhere along the editing process.
Grammar wise it's okay. The author has a diverse vocabulary that he puts to good use, and his foundations look solid. There are a couple areas that made me double back because of how they were written, but overall it's good.
Now for the characters. The characters themselves are being fleshed out well, but what puts me off slightly is their thought processes. It feels unnatural at times when it's being described. For instance, the author might say something like he blushed because she said this. Given who the character is and the things they do, it feels weird to add. I know that my sentence doesn't give a lot of contexts, but you'll know when you come across it.
So my final verdict, great book, but we can always do better. No offense to the author. :)