When I'm with you

by Hillariat

She followed me to my doorstep, and we embraced in a hug that lasted way longer than it should. As she departed, bidding an I'll text you when I'm home -a mere formality in Singapore- I began to wonder.

Did she feel the same?

In which Rachel has feelings for her best friend Jiamin.

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  • Pages :
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Author
Hillariat

Hillariat

Achievements
I Am Taking Off (I)
First Comment!
Word Wielder (I)
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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
When I'm with you ago

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Ploopie
Overall

A Simple, Sweet Story

Reviewed at: When I'm with you

Wow. This story is calming and peaceful and just what I needed after a long day of school. The actual story is really simple, but the author has written it out in such a delicate way that it feels so satisfying at the end. It's short and sharp, with every sentence being important to the overall story. I wonder if this is based on a true story? Regardless, I like how it's short and very heartwarming. The author's writing style makes it a relaxing read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

OwlishIntergalactic
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Style: The story is told in first person and has great voice and pacing. I enjoyed the way we jumped from moment to moment, traveling through little bits of the characters lives, watching their relationships. My only criticism is we could have used a better visual cue between transitions.

Grammar: The prose are well written and easy to read. Having the translations in the text was a little jarring, but not so much it tore me out of the story. There were a couple of grammatical mistakes here and there, but nothing glaring, considering the author's note explaining Singlish's unique grammatical structure in dialogue.

Story: This story shines. It's infused with feeling and clips along at a pace that makes sense. There's enough tension to keep you reading and keep you waiting and cheering. It's short, so I can't say too much without giving it away. 100% loved this as a bit of slice-of-life, romantic, fluff.

Characters: The characters are lovely. Their personalities are different enough to be seen in the writing. They play off each other incredibly well and the chemistry is clear. When you're writing a romance, especially short ones, it's important to show the readers there's a chance for these characters and I can see it from the very first scene. The POV character's emotions ring true and reading through her lens is enjoyable. I especially like the snippets where we see how she sees her love interests.

Overall: I highly recommend for anyone looking for a story to brighten their day. It's beautiful.