Bronze Sun: The Red Smith (LitRPG + Crafting)

by Michael D. Kang

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Adrian had never started a fight in his life, but then his best friend stole his girlfriend. He knew it would be trouble when he tried to get her back, but he didn’t expect it would get him killed. 

He woke up in a bronze-age world full of magic, with a blacksmith’s hammer in one hand, and a pickaxe in the other.  

The higher-dimensional beings that sent him here have told him to break the world of Antium. It’s forbidden for anyone outside of the guilds to learn magic, so what better way to break everything than to use forbidden Red Magic to craft armor and weapons more powerful than Antium has ever seen?

But before he can even craft his first piece of armor, he’ll have to fight his way out of the infested forest with nothing but a rusty sword and his smithing tools.

He’s one of many that has been sent in to shake things up and breathe new life into a dying world. If the others are sent to shatter the world, then Adrian will be the one to build it back up to something glorious, even if he has to do it one bronze ingot at a time.

UPDATE SCHEDULE:

New Chapters are released every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score
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Michael D. Kang

Michael D. Kang

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doombot
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A bit of persecution complex?

Reviewed at: 15. The Window

The story, all eleven chapters of it so far, is off to a good start. That being said, there are some significant red flags.

Good: Grammar is excellent, the story is very readable, and the characters have personality. The writing reads like an editor has reviewed it, which is very nice, and the author obviously has put some work into a storyline.

Bad: There are some descriptive issues, in that the description of characters, places, and things are lacking, the litrpg aspect of the setting is rather subdued, and the main character feels like he has something like a persecution complex, or at least some measure of "everyone is out to get me and everyone I can't control is bad." The only people who is shown to be even remotely not-completely-antagonistic towards the MC (that are not monsters, who have gotten more positive coverage than the rest of the cast combined) are an alchemist apprentice smelter named 'Old Beardo' and a screaming blacksmith's wife without a name.

Worst: What I do not enjoy are the flashback chapters, where we see the MC act like a 13 year old boy, ogling girls, telling white lies, all while his parents and terrible friends play "How can we beat down on a child in ways that may be realistic, but are not fun to read." Each of these chapters seems like it would be better as a paragraph where the MC talks to someone who doesn't hate them, rather than 3000 words about how terrible his life was before he died and a gnome magically transported his consciousness to another world.

Chapter 15 Update:

Just... why? Another series of people who screw him over again and again. Apparently there are no non-assholes in either the world the MC came from, or the one he ended up in.
If there were examples of less caustic people in setting then it might be excused, but every single person the MC has had any significant interaction with has tried to screw him over in some way, not even counting the MC screwing himself over repeatedly. 
While power-fantasy can be bad, the opposite can be just as bad.

Xhally
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Very frustrating weak and unintelligent MC

Reviewed at: 18. LAN Party

This story is a very annoying read. I could not deal with the asinine antics of the MC for longer than I did. The idiotic MC drags down what should be a half-decent addition to the RRL library. I cannot explain how bad this fiction is past the words I've said and will say but if you get one thing from this review, it's this, don't read this.

Style

The author's style is not the greatest I've seen. I'd put it on par with Advent The Red Mage series (I think that's what the book was called) insofar as being a decent read, but nothing more than that.

Story

The story has been a mixed bag. It has the many cliches common in the isekai genre, for better or worse. The most unique aspect is the fact it's in the Bronze Age rather than the Medieval Period. Historical analogs seem decently researched, which is nice. But don't get me started on the flashbacks, I haven't seen a single good comment about the flashbacks and yet the author ignores all of these comments. They tie into the problem with the MC which I'll specify later.

Grammar

Nothing to complain about here, grammar is adequate.

Characters

And so we get to the real detractors. I've seen more character in a sopping wet cardboard box than this stupid person. He's made out to be semi-intelligent and yet makes the stupidest decisions. Yeah, this is one of *those* fictions. Hard swerve from this fiction if you want even a small modicum of character in your stories. Every character is one dimensional and lifeless. 

MadKing
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Only like 2 chapter of real crafting.

Reviewed at: 19. Softcore Mode

I wanted to read this story because of the title but there has been only two chapters of real smithing. It's not something I want to read more of due to the settings main mc has been put in. It's moved too fast and has turned more and more grim dark over the last few chapters. 

Also the fact that his friend he killed is in the world and is so much stronger than him is a turn off for me. He got tricked and killed for nothing he has no control in this story which is a large part of the reason for my score. The whole guilds are making the world stagnant is a good concept but the fact that the story is marketed by the title as a crafting story and we only got like 3 chapters of anything is disappointing. He's going off on quest and things instead of doing anything that helps him. He's being used and not doing anything about it.

This is my opinion on the story and dose not mean I don't want people to read it I believe you should give the story a try and come up with your own feelings for the story yourself. My best wishes to the author and readers.

WaryorWeary
Overall

The grammar is well-done. Putting the reader in the character is well-done. Setting is interesting and sketched out.

The accidental Pikmin were cool, as was the flatbread. Every other story element was grimace inducing because it was disappointing, gross, grindingly cruel, or a cheap shot. Even the author's note takes a shot at the MC.

my suggestions are 1) re-write the synopsis so readers don't expect a positive story 2) change the title so crafting isn't the expectation

 

Kenrio
Overall

Completely spineles and retarded mc

Reviewed at: 27. Into the Desert

The mc is a complete spineles idiot from chapter one to 25(it become to painful to read more than that) the worst is he is manipulated into being a slave and the he fault himself and not the people who caused it(Thalia and elisia) and he even become friend with elisia. So if you like these angst mc that even when used by others he say it's his own Gault and don't become angry with the real culprit, and the worst he start trust the same person again

Phan_Of_Wafflez
Overall

I read every chapter released so far, in one sitting, so this review will not be influenced by wait-time gaps. Also, this review may seem vague, but that is only to ensure that I do not spoil anything for potential readers.

First, I would like to say that the main character, Adrian, is relatable in an underdog kind of way. Basically, if you grew up with a group of friends but you were only included because they needed more people – and you followed along out of habit – you can probably understand Adrian pretty well.

 So far there have not been any real side characters introduced; the MC has met other people, but they have not been a big contributing factor so far. I am sure this will change soon since the MC started off alone and because the plot has been developing quickly. There have been hints of an antagonist since the very beginning, but I cannot yet say whether they will appear physically for Adrian to work against, or if it will be a mental/emotional-growth type of scenario.

The plot seems to be unrolling at a perfect pace for what will probably be a published book (since the author has already written 34 chapters). The chapters that are out so far are focusing on the MCs survival and initial power-growth so there are fights and encounters happening at a rapid pace. I assume that things will slow a bit when the MC catches up to the learning-curve that he is faced with in his new world; but given how much has happened in the first 100 pages I would not expect for there to be dry periods where nothing is happening and the author is merely padding the word count, luckily. The author also seems to have a plan with how their story will unfold so there have not been any needless distractions; everything Adrian has done has served a purpose so far.

As of right now I will be giving this story a five-star rating, and if the quality does not drop from this point I will gladly leave it at five stars.

Thank you for reading my review.

 

Rustencel
Overall

Picked this story because was in the mood for a good crafting story.  Dtill looking for a crafting story unfortunately as title was very deceiving.  Tried to get into the story anyway but just could force myself to read very far in, and came back to look at reviews and saw that iwasnt likely to ever see much crafting here so am vrry disapointed.  Wpuldnt have left a reveiw on a story that didn't read very far into if not for the false advertising of story type and what i did read was pretty sad as far as mc goes.

Shades98
Overall

It is a good start to the story, but the flashbacks to Adrians life actually takes away from the story. I feel it is better to find about the mc through the main story than have stories about how he lost to Hunter. Just like we learn what the different choices the MC made during the character build as the MC progress thu the different choices he makes.

After reading 50 chapters of the book. The MC is learning about the world as you learn about it and the character.  I can see why author has put in the flashback chapters to give a better history between the two MC's. One racked by fear and indecision and the other fearless, charasmatic and the growth/stagnation they have. An enjoyable story.

Kilogram60
Overall

I like this story enough to keep reading but it hits a sore point. Flashbacks, hate them (not marking down as it is my issue but every author, writer and director in the world should just stop it!). Having said that, the story seems well written with no typos I recall. I am not sure about the system elements as yet and think I need more exposure to properly evaluate. 

Connor Crowfist
Overall

I am a fan of the story, can't wait to see how it progresses. The author has been on schedule with all of his chapters and it's a fun read. I am looking forward to reading all of the rest of the chapters. This is my review of this book, it should not be a long enough review to be reviewed as a review.