A Friendly Voidling

A Friendly Voidling

by cathfach

Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Sexual Content

When a Creature of the Void fails to find friendship among her own kind, she instead sets her sights upon another, human-filled world. Unfortunately, humans turn out to be rather small and squishy things, resulting in a mostly accidental trail of death, destruction and madness as she embarks on her journey to finally make some friends.

This is a 25k word inane short story, and makes no attempt at being serious or realistic. It's my first attempt at trying a more comedic writing style. No relation to my other stories, aside from a brief cameo.

Cover bodged together with Charat Genesis. Not quite the design I had in mind, but reasonably close. Doesn't contain explicit smut, but does contain references to stuff happening off-screen. May contain traces of gore. Also eels, in varying states of distress.

Posted here and scribblehub.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
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  • Average Views :
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  • Followers :
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  • Ratings :
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  • Pages :
  • 90
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cathfach

cathfach

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Word Count (14)
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Reviews
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Waffle(est)
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

The story has some really standout characters that are distinct and memorable, and behave consistently.

In terms of grammar, I did notice any issues.. at all (I have a tendency to read over issues though)

In terms of style, I'm reminded of "Everybody Loves Large Chests": There are some ways in which the common sense of how a world should work is twisted and disregarded for great humorous effect, however the extent to which this can happen is laid down well ahead of time and there are no unexpected plot twists that leave you feeling "but... that wasn't possible before... was it?". There's monsters and golems and other fantasy tropes, but they serve as set dressing and aren't dwelled upon for long. The story moves forward at a decent clip and I never felt the story get stuck to some joke or trope.  

The plot is basically what it says on the tin: 

A cute tourist goes on an ad-hoc journey and makes some friends. Unfortunately the locals have really strange common sense, but with some practice it's not too bad.

It's not growndbraking or anything but is plenty for the short duration of this little story.

The story feels a bit short, but as many stories of this sort of nature overstay their welcome and degrade in this way or other this might be a good thing. (The author has pulled off some really nice longer running fictions though, so I'm hopeful for more from the cute* little* tourist).

 

 

Res_AI
Overall

Fun Friendly Fiend wants to be your friend.

Reviewed at: Part 4

Lovely irreverrant story that has a wonderful Discworld feel. If you like those stories, you'll be bound to enjoy this take of the Netherworld Friendly Fiend.

The writer is doing a nice job with keeping the story on track but with humor and not taking itself serious. 

 

So take a break from the hard core Dungeons and have some fun here.

ishner
Overall

So far out of her depth it loops back to funny

Reviewed at: Epilogue

This story is short enough you can read the whole thing in an afternoon! The tone is light and happy! Read it! It is good! You will not regret it!

-

Phenomenal godlike powers are not safe in the hands of a child, no matter how friendly. This applies even more strongly to those so young they have no concept how the universe works. Buildings, people, the fabric of spacetime... All are simply too fragile in the hands of a godling. When you can kill thousands on accident and shatter minds at a glance, you will have Problemstm fitting in and making friends.

Still, if brute force cannot solve your problems, you are not using enough of it.

This is a story of a child with enough magical potency to imediatly solve any problem with brute force if she can just figure out which way she ought to be pushing.

-

There are two draws to a Monster Evolution story. On the one hand, we have Numbers Going Upward, on the other we have The Thrill of Discovery as the young creature slowly discovers the world around it and learns how things work. So often authors use a reincarnated human to skip the second part that they might devote all time and energy to Numbers Going Upward. Even where they dont, the wondrous exploration phase invariably ends after a few dosen chapters as the MC has learnt enough to go on at that point and ends up mired in Serious Plottm. Here, we see the opposite! We skip to the end of Numbers Going Upward to focus on The Thrill of Discovery! When that runs out, the story ends!

COME, Vicariously experience the joys of learning new things once more!

CasualDarkSouls
Overall

A great fun girls love short story

Reviewed at: Epilogue

It is a cute 'girls love' short story... It is well written and fun to read... There really isn't much else to say.

You should read it, it is short and an incredible ride well worth your time

 

To the author... I guess I could mention things like the world building is funny, but simple.  I know the MCs are kinda insane and whatnot, but the whiplash of the numbers of dead not being blinked about... Including friends and family is a bit weird. Sometimes it seemed women in general, and especially those 2 women were the only important/smart people in that world... (Like no one in that world can make an anti golem ward?)

But I feel like I am just trying to find something to complain about in a nearly flawless short story and I am glad I read it.

(My review copied from SH to try help people notice your work)

 

hoduka dakokty
Overall

This is a really fun wholesome story of a friendly voidling with ungodly eldritch powers. The humor reminds me strongly of Terry Pratchett (very strong praise indeed). I can only say that is you enjoy any of the work by ravensdagger like love crafted then you will enjoy this. The pacing and characters were all great.

StoryAndSong
Overall

Awesome, hilarious, wholesome

Reviewed at: Epilogue

This is a great story, I really like not only the comedy aspects but also the journey that comes with understanding common sense and morals. I love most if not all of the characters, and the fact that the MC is a bother to their "siblings" is hilarious to me. Overall I reccomend this not only from a comedic standpoint but from a wholesome standpoint as well. I will warn you that the MC is completely overpowered so if you like thrilling concequential schemes this isn't for you.

SpinndemWeels
Overall

Love Crafted Lite

Reviewed at: Epilogue

If you've ever read "Love Crafted" by RavensDagger, you'll probably like this story, as it's got a similar premise, only with more eldritch-ness and body horror, and less wholesome hand-holding.

It's a darkly funny short story about a friendly eldritch abomination, a prostitute and a 

traumatised slave catgirl

walking into a bar. The punchline is pretty eelectrifying.

I love this story: it's succinct, fun, and weird, which is all I could ever ask for from a novel, although I do feel it could have explored 

the Polite/Rude planet

little longer. 9/10 would go mad again. 

Sage Of Memory
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Overall: a fun, silly romp throughout a strange world with silly people. Almost pratchettesque, except that Pratchett could never do things simple.

Style: Lighthearted, combining common-sense narration with amusing asides, the style and narration of this piece is absolutely fantastic. Similar to the narration of Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett, it features a narrator who seems both down to earth and up in the skies, as best befits a whimsical magical world. Handles the cute and the oblique much the same.

 

Story: The author started this story without a clear plot in mind, and after the first few chapters it starts to show. Holds together nicely and self consistently, if not well foreshadowed at points.

Grammar: No noticeable errors. The author seems to have a good grasp of the English language, nothing exceptional but no glaring errors or obvious spelling mistakes either.

Characters: The author seems to have a good idea of what makes people tick, keeps characterization consistent, and writes them in ways that are fun to read and good to imagine.

To re-summarize: a good read if you're in the mood for Eldritch Horror or cute little existentialism. A fun fantasy verse, silly and straight and playing with a genre in all the fun ways. Worth the read.

luda305
Overall

The story just has so much cute, and it's handled so well.  I had face cramps. Sure, the story has flaws in some abstract sense, but I doubt I'd want anything changed (maybe more artwork).

And the technical side if very well handled by the experienced author. 

How did I not get to fifty words. Sheesh. 

jean5
Overall

An interesting story

Reviewed at: Epilogue

A pretty good story, but I found the 

 

to be too fast. In general the ending was too fast paced.

I would also have liked a longer epilogue, with more adorable misunderstandings and slice of life moments.

I didn't see any english mistake, albeit I'm not that good at spotting them.

The style was good.

The characters felt intersting, but the pace made it difficult to really give them the time to express their quirks.